Some people, they roam this world, alone
by MeetMeInMontauk
Summary: What if Bella, wasn't the prey?What if Edward was?How would Bella's world change, once she was ripped away from her life,only to re appear, in the same place, she had promised to never return too?Would she finally believe those stories? We could only hope
1. Myths, legends, stories, tales, truth

Chapter One:Myths, Legends, Stories, Tales, Truth

Myths were always a big part of my childhood.

Up until I was ten my dad use to tell me stories about monsters, the stories themselves didn't scare me, it was the way my dad looked as he was telling me them, staring into

something unknown,the way he would describe everything so perfectly, and so carefully, like he had been there before.

He wholeheartedly wanted me to believe everything he was saying.

At first I was fascinated by these tales, as any little kid would be.

Not only because of what they were about, but because the stories came from my dad.

The one man I looked up too.

As I got older, the details become harsher and harsher, more vivid and scarier, more then anything they become real.

They didnt scare me in the way you would think, they excited me and intrigued me, but they scared me to think i knew these people somehow.

By this time, my mother had, had enough. I came home from fifth grade, to my bags packed, and loaded into my mothers Suv, and the Uhaul behind it.

My father Charlie was the chief police officer in Forks, Washington.

My mother Renee knew the perfect time to take me away would be right after school.

My dad would be patrolling the schools, and such, making sure all the kids were safe.

He'd never think for one minute that the one child he wouldnt be watching, would be on their way to Phoenix, Arizona.

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"Isabella, grab your coat, and get into the car right away", my mother said to me as tears filled her eyes.

I knew right away not to question her logic, my mother never called me Isabella, unless something was wrong.

I was always taking care of my mom, so for her to plan, whatever it is that she had planned, without my help, or my fathers, also excited me, and scared me more then anything.

I ran as fast as I could into the house, tripping and slipping, every few inches or so.

When I finally reached my bedroom, it was empty. Everything I ever owned was gone, I couldnt resist the urge to look into my parents room which was now also bare and desolated.

It only consisted of a bed, a dresser, and some other things my father owned.

Tears started to welled into my eyes, but were quickly pulled back in, by the sound of my mother hitting the gas peddle.

I threw my coat on as I tripped down the stairs.

My mother was behind the wheel, ready to accelerate, the minute my butt hit the seat and my belt was buckled.

If you knew my mother, she was worse then me.

She needed to be taken care of, and I needed to take care of her.

Not in the sense of, I had to take care of her or else.

I just wanted to take care of her, if I wasnt, I didnt feel whole, I didnt feel right.

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She was clumsy, careless, adventerous, outgoing, and fun, but she had her limits, like heights, and driving fast.

Today Renee was like Jeff Gordon behind the wheel, and that scared me more then I could describe, because that wasnt like her at all.

I laid my head back, closed my eyes, and dozed off.

I couldnt tell you exactly what happened next, or the following week. I just know that somehow we had left cold, gray, rainy, Forks, and now were in hot, sunny, Phoenix.

I remember when I had finally slipped out of my daze, I was shocked.

I was in such disbelief, I was now waiting for the police to show up at the door at any minute.

It never happened, they never came, and my dad never barged through the door to take me home.

I couldnt understand if I was more worried, hurt, scared, lost, annoyed, mad, or relieved that my father never showed, relieved that there would never be some big over dramatic

argument, per usual between my mother and my father, or for lack there of, my mother arguing with Charlie.

**I was going to start at Centennial Middle School the following week**


	2. Yesterdays A Mystery

Chapter two: Yesterdays history, tomorrows a mystery, and todays the present, Or is it yesterdays a mystery?, todays a mystery?, tomorrows a mystery?"Haha" at least in my case it was.

Your probably thinking, why didnt she freak out and ask her mom, more like demand an explanation?

Sadly enough, I had seen this coming for a long time.

I knew deep down inside my parents loved each other, but they hadnt been in love with each other, since right before I was born.

My mom felt trapped, annoyed, exhausted, held down, and most of all bored.

My mother needed to spread her wings and fly, she was in some ways, very much like a child.

She couldnt stand for things when they had become redundant, and even more so, couldnt bare to stay in one place for too long.

I knew even before my mother told me, that she had met someone.

He was a basketball player, he was young, he was lively, outgoing, carefree, and more then anything, perfect for my mom.

In her defense, she never cheated on my dad, nor did she leave him for Phil.

She left for her sanity, and my safety.

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Phil started off as a good friend, then when we moved to Phoenix, thats when Phil and I were introduced.

He lived near by, about ten minutes or so.

Eventually they got engaged, about two years later, and a year after that got married.

I was my moms maid of honor.

I couldnt be mad at my mom, no.... no, I couldnt.

Her intentions were never to hurt anyone, my mother couldnt hurt a fly if she tried, and if she did, it wasnt something she got over easily.

Renee was hurting, and for a long time, she tried to hide it, how selfish of me, would it be to be mad at her? I wanted her to be happy at any cost, and now she finally was.

It was almost ten years ago, that this all happened.

Id be lying if I didnt say, I saw this happening before any one else did.

I knew my mother would leave my dad one day.

It never crossed my mind for one minute that she would take me with her, not until Id heard my parents get into a very heated argument, or should I say Renee was in a heated argument with herself

Thats when I knew, no questions asked, my mother would never leave me with my father.

I had learned from this argument that Renee thought Charlie was irresponsible, that he was insane.

She went on, for what seemed like hours, of all the things wrong with the things my father told me, and the things he did out side the house.

He never once defended himself, or got mad, which only made me even more confused.

I knew deep down inside my mom wasnt intentionally trying to hurt Charlie's feelings, she was seriously worried about his mental state, and my safety.

I had heard my mother say, she didnt think it was funny, that my father blamed monsters for killing his great grandmother, or that my dad and his best friend Billy spent time looking for these monsters, when they werent fishing.

My mother had never talked bad about Charlie, not even after we left.

The only thing she had said on the matter was, "Forks wasnt a good place for a child to grow up, what with all the rain, the cold, and all the strange people there too".

Renee had also made me promise I would never go back there.

This is something I couldnt pretend she never said, something I couldnt pretend didnt bother me.

Regardless of what my mother thought, Charlie was my father, Forks had been my home since I was born.

Angela Weber would be so worried about me, what would Charlie tell her? What would she think?

She was one of my only female friends, we thought, and acted the same way.

Oh, Angela, I would miss her.

And Mike Newton, who would he have to flirt with, or annoy?, Well besides Jessica Stanley.

Mike was a real pain in the, you-know-what, but he was as loyal as a golden retriever.

Most importantly though, what about Jacob Black?

Jacob was Billys son, my dads best friend.

We had grown up together, making mud pies and eating them.

I miss him more then anyone, he was my one true friend, besides Angela, though they, in some ways, reminded me of each other, not look wise, but because they were both honest, and genuine.

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Renee had told me that, Charlie was mentally sick, that he needed serious help.

She also said, being around him would only put myself into grave danger.

I nodded my head, as my face filled with shock and remorse, my heart was saddend by these statements.

This time Renee turned to look at me, and the expression that took over her eyes and face, was one I had NEVER, seen before.

She now repeated with a serious tone, "You are not to go back to Forks!"

It was more of a demand, more then anything.

Her reaction startled me, and made me spit out the words, "yes" even though I knew I would never keep this promise.

My father was someone I had always gotten along with.

I craved his stories, because to be honest, it was the time Charlie and I could have alone together.

My dad was such an interesting and intelligent person, which sadly enough no one took the time to get to know.

Everyone thought all my dad cared about was sports and fishing, but there was so much more to him than that.

We were so much the same person, we suffered in silence, were painfully shy, liked to be alone, and most of all we didnt hover, he could have his space and I could have mine.

Charlie was insanely protective though, as long as I was in the house, he let me be, but the minute I was out of his sight, I sware I would catch him following me in his police cruiser, always at a safe distance though.

It was as if he trusted me, but didnt trust whatever was out there waiting for me.

I never brought any of this up to him, or my mother.

I just shrugged it off as Charlie was just being my dad.

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Today was December First, Christmas was around the corner.

It had been ten years since I saw, or heard from my dad, ten years since my mother had taken me away, and ten years meant I was now twenty years old, and free to do as I pleased.

My mother and Phil were traveling a lot lately, and I decided not to go with them, because I was in college, and I didnt care much for sports anyway.

I knew that my mother didnt like the thought of being away from me at Christmas, it would be the first Christmas she spent away.

I re assured her every five seconds, as she packed for her trip, that it was fine, I was a big girl now.

"My old soul, My little old soul, you are so much wiser then your years", she would say.

As I headed to the building in front of me, that stated on a big sign above the door, 'University Of Phoenix Library', I wondered about my dad.

I had thought about him constantly, though I would never admit it to anyone.

I had to be the grown up in the situation, even though I was still unsure of what exactly the situation was.

I never let Renee think I was depressed, ever.

I never let her think that any of this bothered me.

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As if being taken away from, -no scratch that out, being kidnapped from your father, from your school, from your home, from your life, was normal.

I wondered what my dad had said to everyone who asked where my mom and I were?

I wondered the accusations every one would make, the things they would say about Charlie, or Renee?

I also wondered how lonely my dad must have been, at the holidays every year, following my disappearance?

As I sat down in the chair, facing lap top number 2, my curiosity concerning Forks, and my father had become stronger, and stronger by the second.

I then proceeded to sign onto my email account, to make sure my professor had gotten my essay, due today.

It was then that my eyes caught sight of the headline's that came up on aol's welcome screen.

It read as follows " Cop injured in Forks, Washington".

There was no name of the victim, nor was there many details about his well being.

**In that instant I decided, I was leaving for Forks**


	3. Signs, signs, everywhere are, signs

Chapter Three: Signs, Signs, Everywhere Are Signs:

To say the least, I took everything that happened in those last five minutes as the biggest sign in my entire life.

Renee was away for two months, she would never knew if I went down there for a day or two.

I also had been thinking about Charlie and Forks so much lately, then I sign on aol, and the headline I read, was the icing to the cake.

Simply put, I had to go.

I was now sitting on the plane, half way to Forks.

I wish I could say, I thoroughly thought this through, but that would be a huge lie.

I had taken some money I had in the bank to by my ticket, I didnt pack any clothes, or any toiletries, or any thing of the sort.

I had my cell phone in my school bag, with its charger, my wallet with my I.d. and cash, called a cab from school, and was at the air port in no time.

Once I got to the airport, I realized, there might not be any open flights to Washington, then quickly giggled at the thought.

Nobody visited Forks, because nobody really ever left Forks. It was like the Twilight Zone, or the Bermuda Triangle.

Once you were there, you never left, and if you did, you didnt stay away for long, it sucked you right back in.

It was like you were paralyzed, even if you wanted to stay away, you couldnt.

I was now going over the conversations in my head, what would I say?, who would I see first?, would any one recognize me?,

Would I be stoned and beaten by the convicting eyes, the minute I stepped foot in Forks?, was I now known as "The Prodigal Son", returning to ruin my fathers life? Could I slip into Forks, check on Charlie secretly, without any one knowing, especially him, and leave the world untouched?

More then anything in the world, I wanted to talk to Charlie, I wanted to see him and hug him, I wanted to apologize for whatever hurt I had caused him.

Even though I never really had a say in the matter, but I was scared he would tell Renee, or call her worried that something happened between her and I, and all of a sudden I was coming to live with him again. I have to admit more then anything, I was scared he would look at me and laugh, as if to say "You think you can just come back now?"

I was scared that he hated me, and wouldnt want to see me.

He had more of a right then any one in this world, to be mad at me, and if seeing him would only hurt him, I would bury my hurt, pain, confusion, love and yearning for him, deep down inside, and turn right back around to Phoenix.

I was also confused by my own emotions.

Charlie and I, had never had a touchy feely relationship, we didnt hug alot, or kiss each other on the cheek alot, but more then anything right now, thats what I wanted.

I was so lost in all my emotions and thoughts, I didnt realize we had landed, and the plane was now empty, except for the stewardess who was eyeing me up suspiciously.

I quickly grabbed my things, as my cheeks flushed a bright color of red, and hurried off the plane.

I called a taxi to come pick me up. I couldnt tell you how long the ride was, because once again I was in a daze, over whelmed by the emotions filling my head and heart, but as we reached the border of Forks, I told the cab driver to pull over.

I gave him the money I owed for the ride, and a nice tip. Im sure it had been a long drive for him, it didnt seem long enough for me.

**I was now in the place my mother had made me promise ten years ago, I would never go back too.**


	4. Spoke with a voice that struck the sky

Chapter Four:Spoke with a voice that struck the sky

I placed my foot down on the pavement, and took a quick glance around, I was now in Forks, there was no question about it, nothing had changed in ten years.

It was like stepping on sacred ground, I knew I shouldnt be here, that I should turn back and run, but the sudden pain in my chest, told me other wise.

Everything I tried so hard to keep buried deep down inside, was now flowing through my heart, through my veins, through my eyes, and onto the pavement.

I couldnt believe that here I was trying to keep a low profile, and my emotions betrayed me.

I was crying infront of people who were walking back and forth across the street. I kept my head down so no one would notice.

To my relief no one did, because it was raining by now.

I had made a pit stop in the air port to buy myself some winter accessories.

I had my head wrapped in a scarf, and scarf covering my mouth and most of my neck. I had a hat on, on top of my head scarf.

I used the head scarf to hide my long brown hair. I had a winter jacket on and gloves.

I had hoped to be incognito, and thankfully with the rain I had not be seen crying.

I now had to make the choice of where to go next. My stomach made my mind up for me, I hadnt eaten all day, my stomach was growling and in knots.

I needed food in my stomach, before my nerves made me vomit.

I headed in the direction of a local diner, keeping my head down, or straight ahead, to avoid unwanted eye contact.

Not to many people went to this diner, and this is exactly why I chose it. It was near the forest, and most people went to the local cafe.

The only people who ever ventured here, were the out casts in town.

This fit me perfectly, no matter where I went, I was the outcast.

I hadnt made friends in Arizona, well not close ones anyway, I did have people Id occasionally talk with, or once and a blue moon maybe go to the library with, but other then that, I had kept to myself all those years.

I had made school my biggest priority, and was focusing on getting into a good college.

I took up a music class in Arizona, that i took throughout middle school and high school, because my school counselor had said it would look good on my college application.

I could play the piano, and the guitar.

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I was now a block away from the diner, and to my satisfaction, it looked almost empty.

I hurried my pace up a little bit, because it was raining harder, getting darker, and this wasnt a part of town you wanted to walk alone in.

As i stepped into the diner, I was shaking myself off, trying to get rid of the water from my body.

The host was sitting at a table with one of the waitresses, who were both now eyeing me up.

I had never seen either of these ladies before, and for that i was forever grateful.

I looked around to see where there was the least amount of people, and from what it looked like, to my left around the corner would be my best bet.

I finally spoke up a bit, "Table for one please".

The host got up and grabbed a menu, she gave me a strange look, as if to say "Pathetic".

"Do you mind if I sit back there?", I asked her quietly.

I had pointed to the back left, and by now I was sure she hated me anyway.

She gave the waitress a quick smirk, I guess she didnt think I had seen.

I smiled at her anyway, as I walked on by. As I followed the host to my table, I now noticed I was not alone back here.

I kept my head down as I sat, until I could further examine the company to my right.

I took my coat off, and the scarf that had been around my mouth and neck.

I finally got the nerve to look up, no one was looking at me. How pathetic, no matter where I went, not one person noticed me.

It finally dawned on me I was invisible. Part of me was thankful, while the other part felt complete and utter despair.

I would always be the pathetic, invisible girl, who ruined her fathers life. It dawned on me just then, maybe I hadnt ruined Charlies life.

What if he was happy that my mother and I were gone?

What if, he had never missed me?, What if all this time, I had just been one big nuisance to him, and my leaving, was the happiest thing that ever happened to him?

My face dropped as I thought of this, as well as my heart. I was now fighting back an army of tears, and my body started to tremble.

I had known that my mother loved me very much, but after a couple years, I had gotten the feeling that she regretted taking me with her, because now her and Phil, couldnt travel.

It felt like my whole existence never mattered to anyone, for the first time in my whole life, I realized, I was truly alone, and I always had been.

I was just a bother to everyone and anyone. I was too pathetic for most people, what with me being clumsy, and so fragile.

"HA", I laughed to myself in my head, though it was more of a conviction then a humoured laugh.

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*Someone cleared their throat*

I was brought back to reality, and now realized I had been staring at the table across from me.

My cheeks automatically flushed a shade of dark red, Im sure no one had ever seen before.

I gave a sad smile and turned away to look at the menu.

I hadnt really caught a glance at any of them, because I hadnt really been paying attention when I was looking at them.

The only thing I knew was there was 3 girls and 4 boys.

I decided I needed to get a better view, because if I had just blown my cover, I would need to leave as soon as possible.

I took my hat and head scarf off, and hung it up with my coat on the hook on the outside of my table.

I let my messy brown hair fall in front of my face, when I was sure no one was looking, I put my menu up as to say, I was reading it, and now looked at them from the corner of my eye.

I definitely didnt know any of them, and I now realized that none of them were boys or girls.

They had to be in bewteen the ages of 19-30. They were so beautiful, nothing like I had ever seen before. My eyes were now locked on the women.

The first one I saw had short, black hair. She looked so tiny and fragile, like a pixie.

I had to laugh at this, because she reminded me of myself, fragile, besides the fact that she looked like a goddess.

The girl sitting next to her had long beautiful,blond, wavy hair, she looked very confident and strong, I could understand why, she was the picture perfect woman.

She was definitely the most beautiful girl I had ever seen.

Next to her was a woman with carmel colored hair. She was the epitomy of beautiful, she carried herself like she wasnt from this time.

She seemed to be very motherly, everyone looked up to her.

Across from them were the guys.

Directly across from the pixie, was a tall boy with honey blond hair, he was very muscular, but also very lean.

His facial expression caught me off guard. He looked like he was in immense pain, even though he seemed to be enjoying everyone's company.

"Odd", I thought to myself. Next to him, but across from the blond hair goddess, was a man who caught me off guard.

He was very intimidating, he was even taller then the last man, very burly and muscular. He had curly dark hair, and dimpled cheeks.

This made me laugh, he reminded me of a big teddy bear. How could someone so intimidating have the cutest dimples, sweetest smile, and laugh I had ever heard?

Next to the big teddy bear, across from the elegant motherly woman, was a man who looked like a model.

He had blond hair, and like the rest of the men was tall and muscular, but he was very slender.

He also reminded me of someone who wasnt from this time, he carried himself a certain way that made me believe he was the leader of this group.

He had a defined authority, not one to be questioned, or disobeyed.

He seemed so kind hearted, and caring though, not someone who thought he was better then everyone, just someone who wanted the best for his friends, or family, I couldnt be sure if they were related though.

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I finally put my menu down and looked away, I didnt want to get caught staring at them again. My waitress came over, the same one who had given me a dirty look at the door.

Im sure she was so delighted to have to be waiting on me, the feeling was mutual.

I hadnt even looked at the menu, so I had to think fast. I ordered off the top of my head, before she could even ask.

"Two eggs, over easy, white toast, hot tea with milk, and a glass of orange juice, please and thank you", I spat out as fast as I could.

She gave me a look of confusion and surprise, and walked away.

Thank God, she was gone.

I knew I shouldnt look back over at them, but I couldnt help myself. I pushed my hair down again to cover the side of my face, and looked to my right again.

This time I noticed, they were all extremely pale, paler then I was, which was not normal.

Their eyes were like a topaz color, nothing like I had ever seen before, which led me to believe they were from Europe, or somewhere exotic.

I was still examining them, when I realized someone had caught me, though it was not some one at the table.

A tall boy was walking past me, staring at me. I had to catch my breathe, he had the same topaz eyes, and pale skin as the table across from me.

He had an angular face, high cheekbones, a very defined jaw line, a straight nose, and very fully lips.

His messy bronze hair, set off his beautiful eyes. He was tall, between 6'0- 6'3. He was very slender, and from the looks of it was muscular, also.

I couldnt help but stare right back into his eyes. He wore a very strange expression as he stared back into my eyes.

It was as if he was trying to see into my soul. He looked frustrated, like he couldnt understand something.

This made me very uncomfortable, and annoyed. Would I always be the freak of nature?

I shot him a look, that said, "Back off". He looked surprised, and amused. This only fed the fire to the flame burning in my chest.

I had, had enough emotional badgering for one day, and was certainly not going to take shit from any stranger.

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He was now sitting at the table of which had, had my attention this whole time. He ruined the only fun I had been having, and this just made me even more angry. T

he only peace I had was analyzing these strangers.

People always intrigued me, I always liked to keep to myself, but I liked to people watch, wonder where they were going?, what was waiting for them at home?,who they lived with?, if they were happy or not?, make up my own stories about them.

I wanted everyone to be happy, to get what they wanted, if it benefited the better good of everyone else around them.

They were all speaking louder now, and I could finally hear all their voices.

This startled me like nothing I could ever imagine, they all sounded like angels. How could this be?

Even the biggest kid of them all, with the dimples and dark curly hair sounded like an angel.

My jaw had dropped, and I was now picking it back off the table, thats when I noticed the stupid boy staring at me again.

What I wouldn't do, to just get up and sock him, right in between his beautiful eyes, that would teach him to stare at a complete stranger.

What a hypocrite, huh? I had been staring at his family for a long time, and here I was getting angry at this annoying kid for looking at me, the nerve of some people, right?

Haha, Oh Lord I was really loosing my mind. My food finally came, and I scarfed it down.

The strange family was still sitting across from me, every now and then when Id finally look at them, Id catch them all stealing glances at me.

Why on earth any of them would want to look in my direction, was beyond me?

They were all so beautiful, they had to know that, they had to understand when people looked at them, but to look at me?

I was the most pathetic, scrawny creature alive. I had to get out, I had to get away from them.

Something wasnt right, and was making me feel highly uncomfortable.

I finished my food and asked for my check, which my waitress already had in her hand.

I got up as quick as I could, which had been a little to quick, because before I knew it I was falling over.

I didnt know exactly what hit me, but I knew that the ground was ice cold and hard.

I finally opened my eyes after passing out for a few moments, and realized I wasnt on the ground.

I was in the arms of that stupid boy. I was more then embarrassed, and I could feel my blood pressure boiling.

I got up as quick as I could, which only made me stumble backwards again.

"Maybe you should sit down miss", I heard his angelic voice say.

"I-i-m F-f-i-inn-e", I whispered.

"You dont look okay sweetheart", the motherly woman affirmed.

"Esme", I heard the stupid boy laugh.

I was now aware that the whole table of strangers was standing around me.

How did he get up so fast and catch me? How did he know? Maybe he was getting up to leave, and by lucks chance, he had seen me going down.

I wouldnt have known either way, I had been in such a hurry to leave, to get away from them, and here I was surrounded by them.

The boy was ice cold, I guess he hadnt warmed up from the cold.

I tried to stand up slowly this time, and thats when the short pixie like girl, grabbed my hands to help me.

She had the sweetest smile I had ever seen. Her and the stupid boy helped me sit down, thats when I heard the beautiful blond call out to someone.

"Carlisle, you better check her out and make sure she's okay", she said so beautifully.

I was sure I had hit my head so hard and died and gone to heaven. The fatherly figure moved closer to me, and pulled out some things from a bag.

He must be a nurse or something, because only medical staff carried a bag like that.

My cheeks kept getting even more red by the minute, I couldnt sit here and deal with this right now, or ever actually. I liked to suffer in silence and they were ruining my plan.

"R-r-eall-y, Im-m Ffi-ne", I squeaked out

. This made them all laugh, it sounded like thousands of angels laughing.

"Carlisle, is a doctor", the boy who looked like he was in pain stated. He kept a safe distance from me, and now I wondered if I smelled?

I was too tired to fight anymore, so I let the doctor check on me.

He made me look at his finger as he pointed a bright light into my eyes. It burned my eyes, so I was thankful when it was over quickly.

"You look fine sweetie, I think its just a case of getting up way too fast, you looked like you were in a hurry, was your car on fire?", he laughed.

I couldnt help but smile back.

"Actually I dont have a car, well atleast not right now", I answered back, which only made them all look at me with a puzzled expression.

They stayed with me for a couple minutes, until I felt better and ate a piece of bread just to make sure.

I thanked them all for helping me, and quickly walked to the front to pay for my check. I glanced back at their table, and realized they hadnt eaten any of their food.

"How strange?", I thought to myself.

I paid for my check and was getting ready to walk out the door when I realized I had forgotten my belongings.

I turned around to get them, and almost smacked into someone.

"You forget these miss", the voice declared. "

Oh, um, I was just going to get them, but er, thank you very much", I said as I reached for them from the hands that were extending my belongings out to me.

I turned around and was walking away, when I heard the voice call out from behind me.

"Excuse me again?", and I turned around as he came walking towards me.

"Do you need a ride anywhere", the voice asked?

I didnt even know this person, why would I get into the car with them? I was about to say no, when I realized it was snowing hard now outside.

"Um yeah sure", I said with a hesitant look.

"Dont worry, we dont bite", the voice laughed.

I followed them outside, thats when the stupid boy finally turned around to me and said

"By the way, Im, Edward Cullen", he said as he smiled the most beautiful crooked smile in the world.

**I was lost in his eyes.**


	5. But I dont want to live among mad people

Chapter Five: But I Dont Want To Live Among Mad People. "Oh But You Cant Help That, Here Were All Mad"

I didnt understand why I was being so dumb.

My whole plan was to stay unnoticed, and so far I was blowing it big time.

I can just imagine it now, people talking about the strange girl who passed out in the diner.

If my mom could only see me now, shed die. I had finally gotten in the car, and was now surrounded by the pixie on my left, the blond goddess on my right, next to her was the big teddy bear, and in the front seat, was the boy who looked like he was in pain, and driving was Edward Cullen.

I felt rude not introducing myself, I felt weird sitting in silence as the car warmed up, and we waited for the pile of snow to melt of the windshield.

Finally, someone spoke up, at first I couldnt be sure of which one.

I didnt really hear what was being said, the voices moved to fast, and were almost quieter then a whisper.

Finally the pixie laughed, and I had realized she and the boy in the passenger seat were arguing over whatever everyone was saying.

She spoke up so I could hear her angelic voice.

"Im Alice Cullen", she said with a genuine smile.

I didnt know what to say back, if I give my real name, id blow it.

Before I had time to answer the girl to my right introduced herself.

"Im Rosalie Hale", she stated matter of factly.

From the slight attitude in her tone, I could tell she had said this, as if I should already know.

I didnt know how to take her tone, and I was now feeling slightly uncomfortable again.

I was looking in the rear view mirror, trying to keep my eyes off of them, when I noticed the stupid boy, er, I mean Edward looking at me.

He seem frustrated again, he seem puzzled by something.

I was so confused, I didnt know what to do but stare back.

The big guy next to Rosalie interrupted my thoughts, "Hey, Im Emmett Cullen", he said to me as he laughed, I smiled back wryly.

Finally the boy who was in pain, introduced himself, and I realized for the first time, he had a tinge of a southern accent.

This made me smile, a good country boy, thats what he reminded me of.

"Sorry for my rudeness, he stated, clearly embarrassed by the fact that it took him so long to introduce himself, "Im Jasper Hale", he said as he gave Alice a smile.

This pleased her, and I was surprised when she let out another laugh.

I knew this was where I would have to introduce myself, and if I waited any longer, it would seem very rude of me.

"Im Marie Dwyer", I spit out, as I stunned myself.

How did I come up with that so quickly?

I had used my middle name, and Phils last name without even thinking.

Alice looked at me, and I dont know why, but for some odd reason, I felt like she was trying to say, "Your lying", right through her eyes.

I couldnt tell them the truth, even though I was more then sure, I had never met these people in my life, no,..no I hadnt, of that I was postive, I would remember, I definitely would have remembered.

These were not strangers you would forget meeting...ever.

The heat was on full blast, and the snow was just about melted, but for some strange reason, the bodies next to me werent making me warm. I was feeling very chilly sitting next to them.

I didnt know what to make of this, and didnt want to think about it anymore.

I had way to much on my plate, and now had to think fast, of where I wanted to go.

I didnt plan on staying here for more then a day, or two at the most.

I was just about to state where I was headed, when Alice chimed in.

"Snows suppose to last for a week, theyre already delaying, and canceling any flights to and from Washington", she said as she look at Edward.

I looked in his direction to see he hadnt looked back at Alice once.

He was still staring at me.

This was getting stranger by the second, it was as if she had read my thoughts.

I had to speak up the silence was killing me.

"Where did you hear that from?", I asked sheepishly, afraid she'd be insulted by my question.

"OH, believe me, I have my sources!", she answered with a hint of pride.

Before I could think anything of it, Jasper chimmed in, "Alice watches a lot of news shows, she likes to stay up to date with the world, and the things going on all over it", he finished then shot Alice a look, as if to tell her to be careful.

I couldnt take it anymore, I had to get away, the faster we got to where I wanted to go, I could get away from them.

"Snows finally melted, huh Edward?", I said, "Ill show you where you can drop me off".

He started the car faster then I would have thought, and even with all the snow, he was still driving very fast.

It reminded me of when Renee was waiting for me, outside of Charlies. Charlie, I thought to myself.

I sighed heavily, and everyone turned to look at me.

Only this time I didnt care, the remorse and fear, was crippling.

I was dreading my decision to come to Forks, more and more, by the second.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - --

I finally realized, I still had to direct Edward.

I told him where to turn, and go straight at.

We were finally a couple houses away from Charlies, when I realized Charlie wasnt home by himself.

Parked next to his police cruiser was Billy Blacks car.

I had to think fast, luckily I had never told them where I wanted to go, or who I wanted to see.

I had to make up an excuse and I had to make one up fast.

"Haha Oh silly me, I guess from not visiting here in years I have forgotten where im going, Im so sorry about that", I said sympathetically.

Edward laughed, "If you just tell me where your going I could get there faster, its hard to forget this place when you live here", he smiled.

I had remembered hearing the waitress talk about a book store they had just built on the other side of the woods.

Forks wasnt a big place, and to get to a bookstore you had to travel far, I guess for the sake of the kids, they broke down and built one.

I couldnt go there right now though, they might follow me in, and I was trying my hardest to get away from them.

I needed to find a hotel or something.

"I was looking for Dew Drop Inn", I said bashfully.

Charlies family would stay there when they came to visit when I was younger.

I know it was close to the location of the new book store, so that was good for me.

I wouldnt have to walk far, and risk the chance of being seen.

Edward turned the car around and sped towards to direction of the Inn.

We were there in no time, and for this I was extremely pleased.

He pulled up to the front door of the Inn, and put the car in park, he got out of the car, and at first I wondered what he was doing, but I then realized, this stupid boy was a **gentleman.**

He was opening the door for me.

Alice got out so I could slide past.

I didnt know exactly what to say, and I felt dumb for them having to baby sit me for the last couple hours.

I stuck my head back down towards the car and thanked everyone for being so kind.

I heard rounds of "Your welcome", "Anytime,wasnt A Big Deal", "Whatever", And my favorite of all "Thanks for the amusement", Emmett laughed.

His laugh roared through out the car, and I couldnt help but think, he reminded me of a big goofy older brother.

I smiled back at him, even though I tried not too, I couldnt help it though. I finally stood back up and was now looking at Alice and Edward.

Alice looked sad and I couldnt imagine why.

Edward look frustrated as he stood closer to me.

I sware if I handr known any better, I would think he was trying to read my thoughts.

I shrugged that thought off the minute it entered my mind.

The minute I returned back to Arizona, I was going to see a shrink, I was starting to believe I was the mental one, not Charlie as Renee had stated.

I went to say goodbye and thank you to Alice, when she did something I never expected, she pulled me in for the sweetest hug, I had ever felt.

I was taken back by this gesture, even more so by the words that followed.

"Wow, you do smell good Marie", she chimmed with a smile, exposing her extremely white and perfect teeth.

Edward now looked uncomfortable, and I couldnt put it together why, until the words ran through my head again.

"Wow Marie, You do smell good".

I tried to picture who would have said that, and when?

I tried to make up an excuse, so my brain wouldnt overload, and the only one that came to mind, was when Edward had caught me.

He might have said I smelled good to Alice, but what a peculiar thing to say, out of nowhere?

I tried to sneak a quick sniff of my own hair.

I did smell, I wouldnt say good or bad, I would say more like refreshed, I smelled clean, like the Lilac shampoo I used.

I smiled at this, why Edward would tell anyone, that stupid ol me smelled good, baffled me.

I couldnt bare to stand there any longer.

"Thank you so much for helping me out today, Im sorry if i ruined your plans for the day, or was a bother, I wish I could repay you, but thank you so much for your kindness, Edward", I said shyly.

" I was only being humane", he said with a sly grin.

Him and Alice burst into a fit of laughter.

I didnt get it, was something a joke? He was "only being humane", I didnt see the joke in that?

I was annoyed now, as if they were making fun of me, thats when I noticed Alice looked sad again.

What an odd group of people I thought to myself, and here I thought my family was dysfunctional, Huh?

I started to walk away, to break whatever trance, we had on each other. I waved good bye, as Alice called out with a grin. _"See you later, beauty"._

I needed sleep, and I needed sleep bad.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

This day had gotten weirder and weirder by the second, and I needed to sleep off the confusion.

I went to the front desk, and asked for a room for one.

The owner was an older woman, who boar the kindest expression.

She reminded me of my Dads mom. How long had it been since I had seen that beautiful woman, way too long?

She titled her glasses down to the middle of her nose, and looked at me from over the top of her glasses.

"We have alot of rooms open, what are you in the mood for?", she said giving me a satisfied smile.

I didnt really care at this point, but she was too kind to be rude too, so I played along with her game.

"How about this, I let you pick the best one in the house", I said as laughter filled my lungs.

This excited her immensely. I paid her in cash, because giving her my bank card or credit card, would only prove that Bella Swan was alive and in Forks.

As we were walking up the steps, I caught a glimpse out of the window, at the bottom of the landing, there wasnt many cars parked there, if I had to guess, maybe 6 other guests staying here at the most.

The Inn was very beautiful, it was an old antique house, not TOO big, not too small.

Outside the house was covered in Ivory, and behind the Inn was the woods.

The house had a mystical feel to it, I was in a trance. I felt peaceful, I felt at ease, and most of all, I felt at home.

We passed many rooms, and were now on the third floor. She took me to a room all the way in the back.

This room was the only room on this side of the hallway.

"Well this is it", she said as she handed me the keys.

"I usually save this room for my guests who are on business trips, because its spacious, but business season isnt until February", she said with a smile.

She enjoyed this more then anyone could imagine.

Most people would huff and puff, and complain about this job, but she whole heartedly loved it.

This was her life, and pleasing people is what she lived for.

I thanked her, and gave her a huge tip, which at first she refused to take until I gave her a puppy dog face.

She smiled at that, excepted "My overly generous gesture", as she stated, and walked away. I was now left alone on this floor, in this hall way by myself.

I opened the door, and couldnt believe what was behind these walls.

The room was white, with a huge window that took up the whole back side of the room.

I now realized as I stepped closer to the window, it was two glass doors, and outside the window was a little porch.

This room faced the beautiful forest.

Around the black iron gate on the porch, was ivory entwined through out it, the room reminded me of something you would see on an antique show.

Everything in there was mahogany wood. The dresser, the bed frame, the night stand, the floor.

It was beautiful, it had book shelve's upon bookshelve's, and in the front of the room was an old record player, with stacks of music.

I had definitely died and gone to heaven.

I was so tired I layed on the big bed, which was covered in white, white sheets, white pillows,and a white comforter, which was huge and fluffy.

I looked at the old grandfather clock. It was only 7:00 pm, I didnt know what to do with myself, So I laid down on the bed.

** Once my head hit the pillow I was out for the night.**


	6. Stray dog

Chapter Six: Stray Dog

I had this strange feeling I was being watched, I could feel the eyes smoldering into my back.

This made me jump out of my sleep, I looked around the room to my right, but their was nothing, not a thing.

My eyes were still adjusting to the dark, and it hurt to keep them open, so I closed them again, and rolled over to sleep on my left.

Thats when I saw them, I wanted to scream but my voice was gone.

Piercing red eyes staring at me from the glass doors. How on earth any one could get up onto my porch, was beyond me.

I was frozen in terror, thats when I noticed the glass doors were open slightly. It was if I could hear what this thing was thinking.

I had to make a break away, I jumped out of bed, ran out through my now open bedroom door, down the three flights of steps, and was now making a run for it.

I didnt know where I was going, I had no shoes on, and was in a nightgown.

How did I get in this night gown? Who the hell did it belong too?

My thoughts were interrupted by the noise of someone running behind me, there was no where to go, but the woods. I made a run for it, tripping, but getting back up.

The adrenaline running through my veins wouldnt let me stop. I was stepping on branches, and other things I didnt know.

My feet and legs were bleeding, from all the cuts and scraps I was encountering through this mission.

I fell on my face, my brown hair now covered in mud. I was about to get back up when I realized, who ever had been following me stopped.

I was now in a part of the forest I had never seen before, it was a large circle, and I didnt know where to go next.

Thats when I saw those pair of eyes again, this time it wasnt alone, it was accompanied by six other's.

They were all blood red, glowing into the night.

I looked around now, and then to behind me, and now saw eight pairs of dark eyes, glowing at me, this scared me more then the red, they were black as night, and I wouldnt have been able to see them, except for the fact that they were glowing.

To my right I could hear more foot prints approaching, and thats when it happened, right over my head.

I couldnt be sure what it was, though I heard it growling, I would assume it was an unbelievably huge dog.

I couldnt make out exactly what it was going for, but I felt the two bodies hit against each other. The dogs paws hit me in the face, and through my body backwards.

My face hit a rock, and I could feel the blood beginning to surface.

The scratch was right above my cheek bone, and the pain was growing stronger by the minute.

I felt like a little puppy whimpering away, I was a cowardly dog. I started to crawl backwards away, holding onto my cheek.

Thats when both parties stopped fighting and turned to look at me. I knew it the minute they looked, I was as good as dead.

I rose to my feet, in what surprised me, was faster then I could ever have believed. I was about to turn and run, when I hit right into something.

I swore it was a tree, but when I stumbled backwards I could see the face perfectly,

**It was Charlie.**

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

My mouth flew open, and the tears starting to welled into my eyes.

I looked behind him to see a large group of people.

I saw Billy Black, Harry Clearwater, and some more of the La Push gang, that my father spent most of his Sundays fishing with, as my mother and I spent Sunday, as our date day, just her and I.

I then realized no one had noticed me, not even my father, everyone had been eying each other up.

The only person who noticed me had been those first pair of eyes outside my bedroom window.

Everyone started moving in on each other. My fathers facial expression, was one I had never seen, in my ten years of knowing him.

He looked possessed and pure hatred filled his eyes.

I heard a loud growl, as if to warn my father, as one of the red eyed creatures lunged for my fathers throat, thats when a piercing scream flew out of my mouth, and before I knew it, I was going down.

I jumped out of my bed, and now saw that it was the afternoon.

I looked around the room, searching for any one, anything. There was not a soul, or creature to be found.

I was now extremely embarrassed, I could not believe, I was letting my father's story's get to me like this.

I hadnt dreamed about them in such a long time, but the thing that threw me off as odd, was my father had never been in them before, or his friends.

There had always been a gang of humans, but their faces had always been blury.

I guess being back in Forks was really getting to me. I got out of bed, and looked down to see, I was still dressed in the same clothes as I had fallen asleep in.

Ugh, what a nightmare, I thought to myself. I needed to get out, I needed some things, if I was going to be stuck here for a week or two.

I needed clothes, I needed a tooth brush and tooth paste, I needed soap, and deodorant, I thought to myself as I made a mental note.

I made my way downstairs, and was about to make my way through the front doors, when the lady from the front desk, called out to me.

I now realized as I looked back at her, that she had a name tag, "Sophie".

I couldnt hear what she said exactly, so I moved closer to her. She looked worried, and I was now worried for her.

"I said, you okay miss"?, she asked with such concern in her eyes.

"Why yes, of course, why wouldnt I be"?, I asked back with confusion written all over my voice and face.

"Heard a lot of racket coming from your room last night, usually no one would hear a thing, but I was coming up to sit some towels outside your door, thought I heard you running out the front door at one point, but when I came to check on you, I heard a piercing scream, I didnt know what to do, so I went down the hall to call the cops, when I heard you shut your door and go back to bed, I then figured you were sleep walking", she said as her face became more amused.

I didnt know what to say? Had I been sleep walking? Was my mental health really starting to deteriorate? Was being back in Forks really having this much of an affect on me?

"Im so sorry Sophie, that wont happen again, I guess it was the chocolate I ate before bed", I lied.

"Well you know what they say, its not good to eat before bed", she smiled back.

I was starting to walk away, when she called out again.

"Im sorry to bother you again, it just dawned on me, I dont know your name, and since you know mine, Well I feel slightly rude, not knowing yours, since were on a first name bases", she smiled, clearly happy that she had someone to talk too.

I liked her, I liked her more then I should, she reminded me too much of Grandma Swan, Sophie made me feel so relaxed and calm.

"Im Marie", I smiled back, but deep down inside, I hated lying to her, I hated it more then anything in this world.

"Well Marie, I noticed you didnt have any clothes, so I put a few things in your dresser drawer, a little old fashioned, but there is also a boutique, right next door to here", Sophie mused back.

"Thank you so much for everything, and I am truly sorry for last night, no more chocolate, scouts honor", I said putting my fingers up in the scouts honor hand sign.

This delighted her, as she returned the gesture.

I was now walking out of the front door of the Inn, and the first stop on my mission to nowhere was the clothing store.

When she had said the word boutique this had made my muscles tense.

I was not one for designer things, or hawty tawty clothes(as my grandmom use to describe overly dressy clothes).

It was freezing out, and I was more then grateful when I had made my way not even a block away and I was inside the store.

I was relieved when I stepped inside, and saw more then average clothing. It had some "hawty tawty" clothing, but it also had a section of clothes I would totally wear.

I was a small size, and only 5'4, so finding clothes for me had always been easy.

I picked out a few things I liked, some washed out jeans, some long sleeved shirts, some old band t shirts, a couple of hoodies, and some long johns for under my clothes.

I also picked up a pair of boots, some under wear, and a couple pairs of socks and sneakers.

I was excited when I saw that they had a little section for necessity's. I grabbed the things I needed, went to register to pay, and was on my way out the door.

I went back to the Inn and took a fast shower.

I put on a blue long sleeved shirt, a pair of black converses, a pair of dark washed out jeans, shook my hair dry, a little bit, and after throwing on my coat, I was headed out the door.

I hadnt bothered to look in the mirror once, and I was starting to feel sorry, for the poor soul who had to look at me today.

I didnt know where to go, but as I headed back out the door of the Inn, I thought about going to the book store.

It was now six o' clock, and I was hoping that by being there, I could hear something about the cop injured.

I knew it would also pass time, until I decided what to do. So I started my journey down the road, walking on the grass of the forest, so I wasnt completely in the street.

I stopped for a second, the smell of something stopped me dead in my tracks.

I couldnt recall of how I knew this scent, but it made me freeze in terror.

I turned to look at the forest as chills ran up and down my spine.

I was now regretting wearing the converses, as the snow started to fall harder and harder by the second, I was already walking in three feet of snow.

I hadnt really noticed the snow on the way to the boutique, because the walk way was shoveled, but now as I walked down the deserted road, on my right side was the forest, that had been the pin point of my nightmare, I couldnt help but notice every little thing.

Sophie had said, she ehard alot of racket.

She had also said that she thought I had left, but she heard me screaming?

Could it be someone else was leaving at the same time my nightmare was going on?

My head was hurting from all the, "What If's".

I picked up my pace a little, as the snow started to soak through my hat, I could see the huge building from a couple blocks away, and was now noting how beautiful it looked behind the tree's of the forest.

Some cars had passed me by, but I made sure to keep my head down.

I was now at the beginning of the parking lot, which was ten times the size of the building.

I tried to hurry as the snow started to come down harder, I was freezing and the snow was starting to seep through my jacket and hat.

It didnt look completely packed, or completely empty.

I couldnt tell which one was better, if it was empty I could be spotted easier, and If it was packed I could try to blend in, but I had more of a chance of seeing people I might have known.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

I was now entering the bookstore, and was thankful for the smell that hit me.

It was warm and toasty inside, I hadnt eaten all day, and the smell was intoxicating.

This whole not eating thing was starting to become a very unhealthy ritual, that I needed to put an end too.

I was dripping wet, and decided to stand there for a minute as I let the water drip off of me.

This bookstore was bigger then any one I had ever seen before. It had to take up at least three blocks.

There was four levels, and they went so far out, on each side. I smiled to myself , there was no way I would get caught, I could hide so easily.

There were coat hooks in the back, so I stopped and shook my coat and hat off and out them on the hooks.

My hair was still wet, from the shower and wet hat, but was in curls from being wet.

I decided to start walking towards the escalator, and check out this beautiful place.

I was on my way to the first floor, and looked down to see no one was paying attention to me.

Everyone was to engulfed in conversation or a good book. I was thankful for this and excited.

This was a place I could spend the rest of my life in. An hour or two had passed as I made my way through the first and second floor.

I was now on my way to the third, and more excited then anything.

I rounded the corner and took my spot at the first book shelf. I ran my fingers over the books, over the title's and authors.

I loved the smell of new books, I was entranced by this place. It was like its own magical place, so far away from the world.

What was even more beautiful about it, was when you looked out of the huge windows surrounding it, you where surrounded by the beautiful forest.

A chill ran through my body, as I tried to put the foolish nightmares from the night before to rest.

I had made my way down aisle after aisle, when I heard a faint noise, that I would recognize from anywhere.

It was the sound of someone pushing a key on a Piano. I hurried down the aisle, and turned the corner, to see the most beautiful sight I had ever seen.

There sat a black concert grand Piano.

Who ever had pushed the key as they walked by was long gone, and I could tell by the way they had played the note, that they were just fooling around with it.

Behind the beautiful Piano was a fire place, "Perfect", I thought to myself.

I could dry off as I played. No one was really around up here, and I could tell that even if they were, they would be totally unphased by any one playing it.

That didnt stop me from being nervous, music was my outlet, as much as reading was.

I loved classical music, and anything that had to do with a Piano, so I walked closer to the bench and invited myself to sit down.

The Piano not only had a beautiful fire place behind it, but on both side's were huge windows, that accented the scenery.

I was going to get lost in this, I could already tell. I felt so peaceful, as I ran my fingers over the beauty beneath them.

I let myself get lost into the serenity that was now over taking my body. I let my fingers do the talking, as they pushed out one of my favorite songs.

Renee had gotten me into this song, and as much as I tried to feel sad, about the thought of betraying Renee, I couldnt be.

I was hypnotized by the sound. I played harder and harder, as I felt the melody pulsating through me.

I was so lost in the magic that was flowing off the keys, and the fire behind me that I hadnt noticed someone standing near me.

They werent necessarily staring at me, but were definitely listening. They too also seemed to be a trance. The song was just about over when I heard them say,

"A fan of Clair De Lune, I see"?, a familiar but strange voice asked.

I couldnt remember where I had heard this beautiful voice before, but I knew I had.

I was playing the last second of the song, as I turned around to look at the person who was about 8 feet behind me.

I had to know who else had such an amazing taste in music. The person wasnt looking in my direction anymore, but behind himself, thats when I realized I knew who it was...

**Edward Cullen.**


	7. Oh sanity, oh sanity, where for art thou

Chapter Seven: Sanity, Oh! Sanity, where for art thou, Sanity?

"Oh! No, No, I thought to myself. Oh good God, no".

He was the last person I had wanted too see.

I had to make my escape then, so I slowly slide off the bench, and turned the corner to another book shelf.

I heard him say "where did she go?", but I refused to be seen.

I slowly made my way through book shelf upon bookshelf, I turned back around to peek through the book shelf to see where he was, but he was gone.

"Hmm", I wondered to myself, as I made my way to the elevator, instead of the escalator.

I didnt want to risk being caught on the moving stairs, with no where to go. I went up one floor, to the fourth level, and to my surprise this is exactly where I wanted to be.

It was the classic novel section. I picked up my pace and headed to Romeo and Juliet.

Whenever I needed to get away, I would read this or Wuthering Heights. I was making my way down the aisle, until I came upon the S section.

"Shakespeare, oh Shakespeare, where for art though Shakespeare", I said aloud to myself, as I laughed at my joke.

That's when I looked up to see someone in front of me, not just someone, but that stupid, stupid boy.

"No way in hell was he holding the book I was looking for", I said to myself in a tone, that was angrier then I had expected.

"Looking for this"?, he said with a bemused smile. "How the hell did yo", I started to say, but he cut me off.

"I was reading the same thing, when I heard you asking Shakespeare where he was", his eyes twinkled.

I was more than annoyed that he was once again, where I didnt want him to be.

First off all, he ruined my complete and utter trance while I was playing the piano, and here I was again looking for refuge, and here again, was Edward Cullen, acting like he owned the damn place.

"Thanks", I said sharply.

This only made his stupid crooked smile, wider.

"Your very welcome", he said with a bit of a hot shot attitude.

I was starting to think of all the vile things I could to him, that would stop his smile in a second.

"Hahaha!", I heard my inner demon laugh.

This startled me, I wasnt one for violence, or hurting anyone, but for some reason, I felt defensive around him, like I shouldnt trust him, like I should protect myself.

I took the book and started to walk to a big comfy couch.

I didnt think for one second that he would follow me, but of course he would, why wouldnt he?

As I turned around the corner to sit in my chair, I now realized his whole family was sitting there, reading.

In a huge circle, of chairs, facing the forest, their they were, one by one. Alice was closet to me, she was sitting in a couch way to big for her, this made me smile.

Next to her was Rosalie, and Emmett, both sharing one seat, sitting there, like no one else was around.

Next to him was Jasper, he was keeping his distance, he hadnt looked up, but I was reading his face while he was engulfed into the book he was reading.

He looked frustrated, he was still in pain.

"What the hell is wrong with him?", I thought to myself.

Next to him was Esme, the motherly figure, she was leaning off of her seat, and putting her hand on Jasper, it was as if she was telling him "it was okay".

Next to her was Carlisle who was smiling at me, I smiled back, I couldnt help it, with him, no one could.

I was looking for an open seat, just as Alice looked up and motioned for me to come towards her.

"Come sit with me", she chirped. As much as I didnt know if I should, I did as she asked.

She was very easy to please, and I was happy to see her smiling again.

As I walked towards her and the chair, I heard Jasper catch his breath.

I didnt look up at him, but I could tell everyone had already shot him a look.

"What the hell was his problem!", I just wanted to scream.

I saw Alice's face, I quickly forgot my anger, and made my way next to her.

"How ironic, her and I fit perfectly next to each other", I thought to myself.

Usually there's a lot of squishing, and moving to make room for both, but no, not here, my butt fit perfectly next to her.

She must have been thinking the same thing, because just then, she laughed her sweet little laugh and said "Perfect".

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

Carlisle got up and sat next to Esme, so Edward could have his seat.

"What a gentleman", I thought to myself. So as it turned out we were now in a perfect circle that consisted of Edward and I both on the ends.

"Ugh", was my thought to that. No one was really reading though, except Jasper, and Edward.

Rosalie and Emmett, were in a discussion about who is better at baseball. I could tell they were both very competitive and didnt take to well to loosing.

Carlisle had his arm around Esme who was curled up to him, sneaking glances at everyone.

I knew Edward was only pretending to read, because I would catch him looking at me. Alice quickly broke the death stare Edward and I had on each other.

I was really starting to not like him, yes, he was beautiful, yes he had beautiful eyes, and a beautiful smile, but my God, did he annoy me to no end.

"I told you, we would see you again!", she could hardly contain her excitement, this made me smile like no other.

She was genuinely happy to see me again, I didnt know what that felt like, but it sure felt good, and I felt the same way about her.

Her and I talked for awhile, about the books we both picked, and who our favorite writers were and why. I was thoroughly enjoying her company.

A couple times Edward would try to sneak his opinion into the conversation, but we would both ignore him.

Alice had shot him a look the last time he tried to include himself, that made me giggle, it was if she was saying to "back off, shes mine".

I was enthralled to have her next to me, but couldnt understand how she was still freezing cold.

I didnt want to say anything, because I didnt want to offend her.

She was now the only friend I had, and more than any one in this world, I felt real around her, like I mattered.

It finally dawned on me, that this was the perfect time to ask about the cop who was injured.

I didnt want to make it obvious, or suspicious, so I had to approach this carefully.

"This is a beautiful store, I cant believe they finally built a book store", I started.

"I know, its so beautiful! I love it here! I come here often, just to get some peace and quiet", Alice gleefully stated.

"This is the most interesting thing to happen around here, ahaha, is Forks still boring? Any big murders?", I laughed.

A shock pain crossed Alice's face, but was quickly changed to a look of concern.

"Actually, my father works at the hospital here in Forks. Supposedly while a cop was on duty, he got hurt, but Carlisle took good care of him", Alice stated sadly.

I had noticed everyone had stopped breathing, and was trying not to be suspicious, but was trying their hardest to listen in.

I could tell Alice wasnt telling me everything, I didnt want to press her, and make her angry, or upset, so I left it at that.

If it had been my dad, he was okay, thats all I needed to know. I was surprised when she kept going.

"Hes fine, hes up and walking, just a little shaken up, supposedly he was looking for someone, or something followed them into the woods, and ran into a wild animal, and while he was trying to run tripped and fell or something, hit his head", she ended the conversation with.

"Oh", was all I could muster up.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

I had hoped they didnt notice my sudden chance in tone, I couldnt be sure, because Esme was now looking at me with eyes full of love and concern.

I was feeling slightly uncomfortable with the attention now on me, but my stomach growled loudly, and I couldnt help it as my cheeks flushed red.

Everyone laughed loudly, as I put my head down. I was hungry, there was no denying this, but where would I eat now? The diner again?

I could eat at the Inn, but it was now nine thirty at night, and I wasnt going to make her get up and make me food.

"You better get something to eat", Edward said. Who was he to tell me what to do? Why I oughta knock his block...

"Its getting late anyway", Rosalie cut off my train of thought.

"Go on ahead", Alice said, "If its all right with Marie, Id like to go with her".

I was more then happy to hear, Id have company for a little while longer, that was until Edward invited himself.

"Well Im kind of hungry myself", he stated.

"You can drive us then Edward", Alice was beaming. She was clearly happy to have him join, and be the driver.

Everyone said their goodbye's, and I could sware Jasper was staring at me in disgust.

I really didnt understand what his problem was, but I was going to get to the bottom of it, eventually.

I ran down stairs and grabbed my coat, and met Alice at the door. Her and I waited outside for Edward to pull the car up.

"How is every one else getting home", I asked?

"Remember the other day? How my mom and dad didnt come with us? They drove their car. We all have our own cars, but usually we take the Volvo for group outings", she said cheerfully.

I smiled back, just as Edward was pulling up.

I couldnt believe how bad it was snowing, still. Alice insisted I sit in the front seat, even though I insisted she did.

Finally, after Edward beeped the horn, I was dragging myself into the front seat.

The snow had me worried, and I wasnt sure if going to far from the Inn was a good idea.

Alice must have been thinking along the same lines, because she offered we go to their house instead.

I was shocked at first, was I already pushing my luck, by being in the car with these strangers?

I decided if they were going to kill me, at least I was having fun before hand.

The thought of leaving Alice made me sad and lonely, and if I could have it my way, I was going to spend some more time with her, as much as I could possibly squeeze in, before i became a nusiance.

I agreed quickly, and this made Alice giggle.

Alice and I talked the whole way there, mainly about school, and what we were going for.

We finally pulled up to a house, that was hidden in the woods, Oddly enough I realized it was not too far from the Inn, maybe ten minutes at the most.

This house was beyond gorgeous, large, spacious, open windows, it was covered in wood and glass.

My jaw dropped, as Edward opened the door for me to get out. I couldnt believe the size of the house.

This made Edward laugh, I couldnt help but stare into his eyes.

He sure was beautiful Ill tell ya that much, but a cocky little bastard. He looked shocked, and a bit embarrassed, this made me laugh.

Alice took my hand as she lead the way. I was starting to get used to it, but I was definitely worried at how cold, the whole family's body's seemed to be.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

Esme had decorated and designed the house wonderfully. What I loved even more besides the beautiful design and contour of the house, was the beautiful and antique Christmas decorations adorned through out the place.

I was hypnotized by its beauty, by its welcoming aurora.

My face must have bore the expression of pure awe, because as we walked into the living room, Esme's face was glistening with pure delight.

I couldnt get over, how easy it was to please the ladies of this family, well most of them anyway.

I had turned just in time to catch Rosalie's expression. As Im sure she had wanted me too.

I could tell she was annoyed by my very presence. This made my whole body twitch in confusion, my body was torn bewteen pure hatred and hurt.

I hated her for being beautiful, for dating an equally, beautiful man.

I hated her for knowing what real love felt like, connected at the soul, kind of love.

I hated her for having the money to dress, and act however she pleased.

I hated her for having a family that valued their time together, who always invited the rest of the family on their outtings.

I hated her for the way she acted like, she was better then every single person, in the whole entire world, but more then that I hated her for having exactly what I wanted.

A loving, admiring, beautiful, kind, gracious family. Even though they were strange, I couldnt help but feel a pang of jealousy towards her.

Not only did life just seem to roll out the damn red carpet for her, but she was related to the most loving, caring, funny, girl in the whole world, Alice.

She really must not know how lucky she was, how could she not see how lucky she was to have a family who loved her for her?

Not for her looks, no, not that, never that. They loved Rosalie, for exactly who she was, faults and all.

This was something, I was sure, I would never understand. My mother may have loved Charlie, but she sure as hell, didnt stick around to make sure he made it out okay.

I didnt hate her for that, because in my mothers eyes, she had done what she believed was right.

I had been alone my whole life, even though Renee took me for "my on safety", as she had put it, she spent most of her time at work, or with Phil.

I refused to make myself a burden upon her. Who was I to deprive my mother of the ultimate happiness, that she so willingly deserved?

Now in turn I would never know what self sacrificing love felt like.

I would never know what it felt like, to know, that my poor family, would drop everything in a second, to make me completely happy, even if it made them completely miserable.

This is the hurt I felt when Rosalie glared at me.

She reminded me of exactly what I was, Pathetic.

How could she ever sympathize with me? **She had it all**, and _I had nothing._

I wasnt hungry anymore, to my surprise, but in total admiration for the family around me.

I could tell for some reason that Jasper didnt feel too comfortable around me, and I had wondered if this is exactly the same way I should have felt, around these familiar strangers?

I didnt take offense to his actions towards me, not the way I did with Rosalie.

In my opinion Jasper meant well, he was just painfully shy, and introverted, and here was some strange girl, intruding on his family.

I could get that, yes, yes I could, but Rosalie's pure hatred for me, I would never understand. A girl so lucky, should only want to spread her wealth, and love, but no, not Rosalie.

She was to self absorbed, and it made me wonder, how she had landed such a good guy.

Looks aside, what was a relationship, if it only consisted of lust? But I knew that the minute this thought had entered my mind, it was a total lie.

Even if I didnt understand how he could, he did. Emmett loved Rosalie, whole heartedly, as she did him.

She was proud of him, and that showed, as her was for her. I had never seen love, like any of theirs before.

Every single one of the guys, were total gentlemen, aside from Emmetts goofy, and sometimes vulgar side, they were all polite and courtieous.

Pulled chairs out for woman, opened and closed doors, offered to always grab the check, complimented them, and most of all, looked at them and only them.

It finally dawned on me, when was I going to meet Edwards lady? I knew she had to be nothing short of perfection.

She had to hold the moon and stars in her eyes, and in her arms she held the most beautiful boy in the world I had ever seen.

A shot of jealousy ran through my feet up to my cheeks, and forced them an awkard shade of red.

I had been sitting on the couch, admist everyone, listening intently to everyone talking back and forth to each other gleefully.

Esme was in the kitchen, Carlisle sat at a bar stool outside the kitcen, looking at all of us and then returning his attention, to the one person who mattered the most to him.

Jasper sat on the couch furthest away from, and next to him was Alice. Across the room at the pool table, was Rosalie and Emmett, playing a very competitive game of pool.

I was starting to feel out of place, everyone had someone.

So I made my way out onto the front porch.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

I had been so caught up in my emotions, staring at the beautiful moon, that I hadnt noticed Edward sitting in the corner, in the complete darkness.

"Beautiful, isnt it?", he said with such a strong voice, he startled me.

I jumped back alittle.

I still couldnt see him, until he opened his eyes, and for some bizarre reason, I would sware later on, that his topaz eyes were almost glowing.

"You scared me half to death", I accused him.

This only made him laugh, a sinister laugh to himself.

I had, had enough of his antics, and was starting on my heel to turn back inside.

"Please", he said, "Dont go".

"And why not?", I asked with a tone of defense.

He was now on his way to standing up, and emerging from the shadows.

Goose bumps covered my intire body.

I held my breath as he neared me.

My insides were turning over, but my hands were bawling into fists.

He was really testing me, and I didnt know how long, I could fight off the urge, to slug him.

I turned back around, and continued to stare at the moon.

Id be damned if he was going to force me from the porch.

He floated closer to, and did my best to ignore him. He was now by my side, mimicking my exact position.

Both of our bodies, were leaning, slightly hunched over, onto the banister of the balcony.

My hands were intertwined into each other, and I looked through the corner of my eye, to see he was exactly a mirror image of myself.

I refused to accept his presence, that was until out bodies were only inches apart.

I don't know how he did it, but he managed to inch as close to me as he could, without touching me.

The feeling that hit me next, was almost too much for me to endure. Our bodies were pulsating electricity, back and forth, between each other.

I hated this kid more than I could fathom, but I couldn't ignore the warmth our bodies were producing.

The strangest part of it all, was the fact that Edwards body was still cold, but with the warmth and cold crashing into each other, I honestly, couldn't bare it much longer.

My body started to tremble, my lips started to shake, and my mind started sending me mixed messages.

They told me to run, and to stay where I was, exactly at the same time

The moonlight made his skin shimmer, my eyes widened in awe. He was much more beautiful, then I could grasp.

He was looking in my direction, but I couldn't take my eyes off of the moon, for fear that I might loose control.

The tension between us grew stronger, as each second passed by slowly. I thought, at any given moment, my body would explode.

My fights tightend as the electricity filled every inch, and crevice of my body.

I knew, if I didnt do something responsible soon, I was going to faint, from this mind blowing feeling.

I wanted to touch him, no in fact, I needed too. I needed to feel his skin on mine. I needed to run my fingers through his messy hair. I needed to pull his body into mine, so badly, that I could almost feel us becoming one.

I shivered at the thought of him up, against me.

"Cold", he said, though I couldnt tell if it was a question, or a statement. I made the mistake of turning to look at him, his eyes were twinkling, but he was looking at me, with the same frustration that I felt.

I wanted to push him against the wall, I wanted to pull him up against me, as close as we could be, without suffocating the other one, even though right now, id take the suffocation in a heart beat, to have his body on mine.

I wanted to feel his lips, his breath, his tongue, finding its way across my collar bone, sneaking up my neck, and around my ears, but more than that, I wanted to feel his hands, as they made their way up my trembling torso, onto the small of my back, and up my sides.

"Its beautiful", Edward said, as he stared at me. I couldnt be sure if he meant the moon, or me.

I was suddenly aware that Edward couldnt have meant me. We were one two different wave lengths. He was a god, and well I was the lowest of lows.

Even if he did feel the electricity, it wouldnt mean anything to him, and his girlfriend, who ever she was, would certaintly not appreciate this sort of behavior I was allowing.

I was annoyed at him, I was annoyed at the betrayel of my own emotions, and even more so I was annoyed at myself, that I left my fantasies run erratic like that.

"Ive had enough", I said flatly, as I took one more look at the moon, and headed back into the house.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -- - - -

I entered the room, and the first set of eyes I caught were Alice's. She was stuck between being amused and worried.

I quickly joined her on the couch to continue talking.

"I never asked you, how come you came back to Forks?", Alice asked with interest,

I hadn't prepared for this conversation so I didnt know what to say, but I felt myself leaning towards being more honest, but not completely.

"I've been away for awhile now", I started, not sure if I was saying too much already, but I proceeded anyway.

"I came to see an old friend, we havn't kept in touch over the years, so I kind of sprung a surprise visit, ahaha, it was kind of a surprise to me also, when I decided to do it out of nowhere", I laughed.

Alice smiled at that, I could tell Alice loved surprises. I could also tell that she loved stories with happy endings, so the fact that I came to rekindle a lost friendship, meant alot to her, and said alot for me.

"Its a little more difficult then it seems, and Its very hard to explain, they still dont even know Im here, I dont even know how to approach them", I sighed, saddened at the thought of still not knowing exactly how Charlie was, or not even knowing what he looks like, anymore.

Alice smiled sympathetically, and put her arm around me. I felt a shock of electricity warm my shoulders, I couldnt believe how good it felt to be held.

By this time, Jasper wasnt acting as disgusted with me, and I could tell he was extremely happy, that Alice was truly content.

"So tell me about yourself, Alice, I feel like Ive been talking about myself this whole time", I smiled back.

I didnt know why but I swore that I could feel the others tensing up, I tried to dismiss it from my mind.

Alice smiled back, I could tell she was looking for somewhere to start.

I nocited that Edward was walking back in from the Balcony, and was making his way towards the couch.

"Well for starters, as you can tell Carlisle, and Esme, are both a littl young to have kids this age, and Im sure you've also caught on to the fact that some of us are dating", she said with a proud smile, as she glanced at Jasper, who was now beaming.

Edwards face looked blank.

"Edward, Emmet, and I, are all siblings, our parents died when we were young, and as you know Carlisle is a doctor, and he meets alot of people from day to day, and sometimes even becomes close to them, Carlisle had met our mother when she was dying, knowing that we didnt have anybody else, he took us in, adopted us, as you would say", she said with an expression I didnt understand.

I had noticed that Alice had been looking around the room, before she went on, as if she was waiting for encourangement, or an okay from the rest of them.

When she was sure she had gotten it, she continued.

"Esme had been Rosalie and Jaspers aunt,they are twins, and under unfortunate circumstances, they also were homeless, Esme took them in. Its so funny to think, that two amazing people, fell in love, couldnt have kids themselve's, but wound up both taking in kids. They are the most loving and caring people in this world. Honestly they are the two best people in this world. They have made each and every one of us feel safe, and loved. You honestly couldnt have a better family, then the ones I have here. And oddly enough Jasper and I, met and fell instantly, as the same for Rosalie, and Emmett, dont worry were not really related", she giggled.

I turned to look at Esme and Carlisle, Esme was sitting down at the bar stool, and Carlisle was next to her, his hand on her shoulder, while her hand was placed on top of his.

They were smiling widely, and not because Alice had talked them up, and they knew it, but because they loved this kids whole heartedly.

I gave them a genuine smile, I didnt know why, but I knew instantly that I would always love those two.

"I know you probably dont want to hear this, but I think you two are such amazing people, not to many good people out there anymore and Im so glad you all have each other", I said with a smile as Alice put her hand on my leg.

I was yawning now, I was more then tired, but I wanted to hear more about them, I wanted to know everything I could.

Edward got up and headed towards an open room, a couple feet away, I hadnt really noticed what he was doing, but I soundly heard it.

He was playing the most beautiful song I had ever heard.

Esme cheered in delight.

"Edward wrote this song for Esme, a thank you, you could say", Jasper smiled at me.

I dont know what had come over me, but I found myself standing up, and heading towards him, towards the melody.

"Edward, thats beautiful", I said stupidly.

He looked back at me in disbelief.

I was sure he was looking at me with annoyance, but his lips curled into an embarrassed smile, as he patted at the empty spot next to him on the bench.

I hesisitated at first, and I could tell this had hurt his feelings. I finally pulled myself further, and made my way next to him.

I was mesmerized as I watched his fingers trail along the keys, so gracefully.

The song came to an unwanted end, on my part. Edward didnt lift his head up yet, so I didnt know if I should proceed.

"That was so beautiful, where did you learn to play like that?", I asked with a sudden admiration in my eyes.

He took note of this and lifted his head, with a gentle smile making its way across his lips.

"I taught myself", he said quietly

"You did what?" I asked in shock, "It took me years of practice to even sound somewhat tangible!", I laughed.

I could tell he enjoyed this, not in a cocky way, but he was happy to have someone to talk to about the piano.

Esme and Carlisle finally came over, to say goodnight, I took this as my Q to probably head home, but before I could get up to thank them and be on my way, Esme spoke up.

"We need our beauty rest, it isnt easy raising a house full of out of control kids", she laughed, "but they dont ever really sleep, so feel free to stay as long as you like, I know Alice would love that".

"Thank you so much, for your hospitality", I said as I moved closer to give her a hand shake. She looked at me in awe, and stepped closer. I didnt know if I was over stepping the lines, but Esme finally took the initiative, and stepped closer and took my hand, and pulled me into a gentle hug.

Carlisle came over next, and hugged me. His hug was tight, not to tight, but full of emotion. I didnt mean too, but I found myself not being able to let go. I hadnt had a hug from a male in over ten years, it was too comfortable with him.

"Marie, feel free to come over, whenever you like, you are always welcome here", he smiled as I let go.

"You have no idea how much that means to me", I said as I slowly put my head down.

They walked upstairs, as Rosalie follwed them, Im sure she would have an argument waiting for them, for inviting me to come back.

Emmett appeared behind me and before I could jump up in shock, he had his hand on my head, moving it back and forth, as he messed my hair up.

I giggled, as I would, if I had an older brother who teased me.

"Cya later kid?", he asked, but it sounded like it was more of a statement.

I made my way back to the couch, next to Alice.

The couch was big enough to fit 7 people, and I laughed at this because, two of the smallest people in the world were occupying it.

Jasper had moved all the way down the end of the couch, so Alice could lean on him as she layed out.

Edward continued to play soothing, beautiful melodies, as Alice and I kept chattering.

We discussed clothes, books, authors, music, and dreadfully enough boys.

Jasper had warmed up to me alot in the past few hours, and for some reason I felt really happy and warm around him.

The aurora that was coming from his soul, was a happy one.

When we got to the subject of boys, I found myself trying to change the subject.

"So do you have a boyfriend?", Alice asked, excitement rolling off of her letter.

Edward perked up, even though he was pretending he didnt, and I couldnt understand why he would care.

"No", I said camly trying to hide my embarrassement.

"And why not?" Alice asked with a confused expression.

"I dont know", I answered flatly, "I never have had one", I said in a whisper hoping no one would hear.

Unfortunately, everyone had heard me, Edward stopped playing for a second, then started again right away. Jasper looked at me with a sympathetic twinkle in his eyes.

I could almost see a tinge of sadness, in them too, as if he was sad for me.

Alice's jaw had dropped, and I couldnt tell if it was because she thought I was pathetic, or she really couldnt understand.

"I dont get it Marie", she said slowly, "Your beautiful"

I looked at her dumbfounded, was she on drugs? She must need glasses.

I guess everyone could read my expression, because just then Jasper coughed, then started to speak.

"You must not see yourself clearly then", he said, spoken like a true gentlemen. His eyes, were eyes of concern, and brotherly love.

Alice smiled at him, and I could feel the love oozing out of their eyes.

"Well maybe Jasper, you need glasses", I said as I laughed.

Alice didnt like that, and she scolwded me for an hour, about how I better stop putting myself down.  
**  
Edward started on another master piece, as Alice and I continued to talk, but before I knew it, I was slipping in a deep sleep.**


	8. You dont know me,you dont know me at all

Chapter Eight: You dont know me, You dont know me at all.

I kept slipping in and out of consciousness, I wasn't even really sure, how Id gotten into the room I was sleeping in, I just knew I woke up once and was on a bed.

I had heard moving through the night, and had seen shadows crawl past the door, and even heard some faint whispers, but I was way too tired to get up and look around.

I had, had a collage of dreams slip through my mind as I slept. Some of which confused me, some of which scared me, and some that just made me feel very calm.

I finally woke up for good, and was shocked at what I found. I was in a huge bedroom, surrounded by windows, and a bed at the back of the room.

The head board was black iron, with a rose design on it. The bed was huge, and covered in crushed velvet red and black covers and pillows.

I scanned the room, and to my surprise, I was surrounded by books, and music. At the end of the room, furthest away from the bedroom door, was a beautiful piano.

"Sheeesh, how many Piano's can one house have?", I laughed to myself.

I had to touch it, I had to feel its beauty run through my veins. I made my way to the bench, pulled the cover off the keys, and sat it on the floor.

I started to play, very quietly, a song that my mother use to play for me, it was our song. It was the first song, I had learned to play.

I hadnt noticed anyone else in the room, except for when Edward made his way to the bench and sat down next to me.

I was too engulfed into the song, to care or be nervous. I played my heart out, I was so lost in the song. I let the memories flow through my mind.

I let the emotions take over my body, and run through my fingers, and onto the keys.

I didnt pay much attention to Edwards face, but I did notice he was staring at me, like he was in a trance.

"Ive never heard that one before", he started.

"Its a song my mother taught me, its kind of our song", I replied.

"Well its simply beautiful", he smiled a goofy smile.

"Ive never seen any one else play with so much emotion, so much feeling, its quite refreshing", he said.

"Well, music is emotion, no matter what it is. Whether your talking about, just a beautiful melody on any instrument, to a rap song about money, and sex. Even if its a rock song about an ex, or partying. They are all emotions. I think people forget that", I answered back.

He seemed pleased by my answer, but I could careless, I was just being honest with my emotions, I wasnt trying to impress anyone.

"I think people, forget about emotions a lot of the time. Everyones so worried about getting hurt, they shut themselve's down, and dont let anyone in. They turn cold, and cynical. And in re turn, they wind up hurting some one else. Its always about how they feel, not everyone else, but everyone's so scared to feel, they dont.", I said

"People dont realize, emotions are what make this world go round. They make up our entire being, they make us who we are, they make us better people, if we use them the right way. No one wants to stick around, and help someone else out. No one wants to throw caution into the wind, and just live, and let their emotions, do the talking. No one is honest anymore, everyone hides behind this fake person. No one is themself, and no on takes the value of friendship, and being a real human being serious anymore", I finished.

"How old are you Marie?", Edward asked.

"Im twenty, how old are you?", I replied

"Im twenty also.", he said with a sort of a grin on his face.

"Well that was kind of random.", I said with a confused expression.

"You see, you dont act twenty, you act older. You carry yourself so much mature then our age group. You actually pay attention to things that matter, its not normal for people our age. Everyone's so caught up in drinking, and who likes who, and being jealous, and immature. Its just nice to have someone my age, who is actually intelligent.", Edward said with an expression that lead me to believe he was saddened, and happy at the same time.

"Oh, well thank you, I guess. Or was that more of a freak of nature comment? Are you just trying to tell me nicely, that im strange?", I laughed.

His face turned serious.

"Most certainly not! It gets lonely sometimes, trying to hold a conversation with someone, when all they want to talk about is getting messed up, or make up. Its gets very annoying and old. You can only listen to so much, for so many years.", he said flatly.

"I know the feeling.", I said sadly.

I didnt know for sure, if I was being completely ridiculous, but I had this strange notion that Edward was becoming attached to me, and that was not good at all.

I enjoyed his company, as much as the rest of his family, because to be honest, it was company, and I actually liked them, very much, but he couldnt get attached to me, not now, not ever.

I got up to look around at the books, because I didnt know what else to say to him.

I was in admiration for all the wonderful, and beautiful books. There were so many amazing and talented Authors. I felt like a kid in a candy store, as I once again, ran my figners over them.

"Like my collection?", Edward said with a bit of respect in his voice.

So this was Edwards room? I had slept in his bed! I was touching his things, without asking. He must think I was so rude.

"Oh..I - -i-m, so sorry. I thought this was a guest room, I didnt mean to intrude.", I said as remorse filled my face.

"What? Why are you apologizing? You didnt do anything wrong, unless you stole something?", he winked at me.

I laughed alittle, but still felt extremely ashamed of myself.

"Where did you sleep last night? You could have woken me up, I would have left! I am so sorry that you didnt sleep in your bed last night.", I said as my eyes looked down.

"Oh, please! It would have been even more rude of me, to wake you up. Stop apologizing, if it bothered me, you wouldnt have been in here. I dont ever sleep, anyway.", he answered with a chuckle, and I could tell there was a private joke somewhere in there.

Just then, my phone rang. I had totally forgetten it was in my pocket. Who would be calling me? It finally occurred to me that I hadnt spoken to my mother, in a couple days.

Oh man, was I in trouble.

I quickly answered my phone, as my cheeks, turned a bright shade of red, but before I could even get so much as a hello out, my mother was gushing.

"Bella, Im so sorry! I havnt been a very good mother lately! Phil has been practicing late, and weve been traveling alot, I havnt had time to call you! Please forgive your hair brained mother? Please, oh please!", she said with a hint of amusement and remorse.

"Mom, its more then okay, I totally understand, You dont need to call me everyday, or every five seconds. Were both adults, I get it." I sighed.

"Oh Bella! Your the best!", she laughed.

I felt weird having this conversation infront of Edward, but I felt even weirder excusing myself now.

"Haha, thanks mom. It really isnt a big deal, at all. But look im kind of visiting with a friend right now, can I call you later?", I said.

"Oh of course! I love you, I love you, I love you! Call me soon." she said, and with that she hung up.

Edwards expression next confused me.

"Who's Bella?", he asked honestly.

He had heard my mother? How could he though? What do i do now? I couldnt back track, my lie. I couldnt say "Well I meant, my name was really Bella", Id sound like an idiot, so I said the first thing that came to my mind.

"My grandma used to call me Bella, because it means beautiful in Italian, so its my mothers nick name for me.", I lied with a Phew, under my breath.

I wasnt exactly lying though, my grandmom did call me beautiful alot growing up.

"Suits you perfect", he said with a shy glance.

"Oh, haha, well, um, thank you kindly.", I said as I headed towards the door.

"Hungry?", I asked not trying to be rude.

The next week and a half, I spent hanging out with the Cullens. I went back and forth in bewteen their house, and the inn.

I knew I was putting off the Charlie thing, but I was trying to figure out the best time, and I was having such a good time with Alice and her family.

- - - - - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Alice had asked me how I ever came to Forks in the first place, and I lied saying my family use to visit here when I was younger. She also asked about my mom and dad. I told her my mom lived in La, and that my father was dead. Alice asked if I had seen my friend yet, and I had lied, saying she had got stuck up at college, due to the snow storm.

I didnt know what else to say, I didnt want any one to link me with my past life.

Edward had become like a puppy dog. He was by my side, next to Alice at all times.

He had confided in me about his mothers death, because he thought my father had died, and about moving around alot.

He had said, he didnt have a girlfriend, he hadnt met the right girl yet. He said people were too predictable.

I enjoyed his company, but I was getting the impression that it was more then that to him. He couldnt like me, he didnt even know the real me, he didnt know me at all.

I loved being around him, he was easy to talk too though, just like Alice, he had definitely done a three sixty since I met him. He wasnt cocky at all, and was very interested in my life.

I couldnt like him though, I had never liked anyone, in my entire life. I never had a boyfriend, and on top of it, I wasnt staying in Forks, there was no point in hurting anyone.

Who was I kidding though?, I had become so attached to Alice, and the Cullens, I knew that when I finally left, my heart would ache immensely.

Alice, Edward, Jasper, and I, all headed to breakfast, at the local cafe.

We ordered our food, and I insited on a seperate check, I wasnt letting anyone pay for me, it made me uncomfortable, when we started in on a deep conversation about honesty, loyalty, what real friendships were about and how they couldnt tolerate liars. This made me feel really bad, I had lied to them quite a bit, to save my identity, and I hated lying to them, it kept me awake at night. I was just about to start telling them the truth, when I heard a familiar voice.

The voice came from across the room, he was ordering food.

I looked up through my hair, to see him.

I had to leave, I had to get away, he couldnt see me, no, not like this!

Alice and Jasper both noticed the change in my mood right away, and were quite alarmed.

"I gotta go guys, I gotta get out of here", I started to panic.

"Marie, wait? Whats going on?", Jasper asked in shock.

I got up abruptly and almost knocked into my waitress, as I dropped something.

"Where are you going?", Alice almost cried.

I didnt turn back around to get it as I tried to make my way through the door, but was stuck behind a group of people.

"Please dont go.", I heard Edwards voice drop.

"Miss, miss! You dropped something!", I heard the waitress call, I turned back to look in horror as she opened my wallet.

"Ms Swan, wait!", she said as I started to force my way through the people.

I stopped dead in my tracks.

"Isabella, you dropped your wallet", she said as she caught up to me.

By now, Jasper, Alice and Edward were standing up, staring at me, with confusion.

I slowly turned to Charlie, as his eyes looked at me in disbelief.

**"Bella?", he said as his voice cracked.**


	9. Secrets dont make friends

Chapter Nine: Secrets dont make, friends.

I wasnt sure if I was dreaming or not.

My body was frozen, my mind was racing, and I was shaking.

I searched the crowded room, to find Edwards face, it was cold, it was empty, it was lifeless, but his eyes were full of hurt.

"Edward, wait, please", I pleaded, as he pushed pass me.

"What Marie? Or wait, is it Bella? Your a classic case of Beauty and the beast, except, your both. Dr Jekyll, or Mr Hyde, which one is it Bella? Huh? Which one are you?", he said through clenched teeth.

"Neither Edward, please listen to me!", I pleaded again my voice on the verge of hysterics.

I was slowly loosing my calm.

"Listen to you? Ive been trying to listen to you! Except everything you've said has just been bull shit. Predictable, your just like every other stupid human being. Your a waist, a total, and utter waist.", he said with pure disgust.

By this time the love I had felt for him the past week or two, had melted away, and my blood was now boiling with pure hatred for him.

I was not a beast, or a stupid girl, nor was I, a waist.

"You dont know shit Edward Cullen! It must be nice to live in a bubble, I wouldnt know! Unlike you, me and the rest of the world, have to live in the real world. Where everything isnt just, black or white. You dont know a damn thing about me, or what Ive been through. Dont you ever talk to me like that!", I snarled back at him.

"Your right! I dont know shit, the only shit I know, is whats been coming out of your mouth! What was in this for you? Huh? You get to use my family? Why? Live off us for a week or two? Didnt you think for one second, that my family was becoming attached to you? Didnt you think for one second that my sister would be heart broken? Is that what you do, use people? Travel to different places, act like a victim, mooch for as long as you can, then pack up and leave, and onto the next unsuspecting victim?", he growled back, but his eyes were full of pain.

"Have you ever had something so painful happen to you, and you are so embarrassed, so scared to tell anyone? Have you ever felt that fear? HUH! Huh Edward, have you?! Dont pretend to be the only one who's ever been hurt! You dont know how it feels to wake up with the pain I do!", I spat back.

He looked at me for a second his eyes were confused, but the hatred never left his face.

I was more then hurt, I had done nothing but put everyone else's feelings before mine, and here I was once again defending myself, for something I had no control over.

"I would never intentionally hurt anyone, thats the last thing Id ever want to do", I said trying to defend myself.

"HA! Right. Well looks like you started at the end, because you did exactly what you didnt want to do", he argued back.

"I wanted to tell you the truth, I was trying too", I said in a voice that was no louder then a whisper.

Jasper then pulled Edward as they headed out of the door. Alice stayed behind, her eyes full of love and concern, her face was hurt.

I turned back to look at Charlie.

"Charlie", I choked up.

"Bella? Bells, is that really you?", he asked, he looked like he had seen a ghost.

"Im so sorry, dad, Im so sorry", I said as I choked on the tears flowing from my eyes.

"I am so sorry", I said as I shot glances to him and Alice.

"Forgive me", I said as I let out a cry and ran.

I didnt know where I was going, but I couldnt stop.

I ran through the snow, across the high way, and into the forest.

My mind wouldnt let my body stop. My thoughts were crazed, and I felt ravenous as I kept running. I jumped up when something was in the way of making me fall, I turned and shifted, from things that would hit me. My body was on autopilot, but my brain refused to let me fall. I had been running for hours, a couple times coming to a complete circle. It was getting darker, so I headed to my left, and finally, came to a river.

In a normal state of mind, I would have turned around and went back, but not now, I couldnt, and I wouldnt. I stepped one foot onto the frozen ice that now covered the river. The water was no more then knee deep, at most. When my foot didnt go through, I put my other foot on carefully.

I was almost across, when I heard a noise ruffeling from the tree's behind me. I then saw a pair of eyes, boaring back at me. I couldnt be sure if it, was my mind, playing tricks on me, but in that instant, I tried to make a run for it.

I slipped right away, my head slamming against the ice, and my body shattering through to,the ice river. I was now going under head first. It took me a couple try's to get up, but before I did I had gone under the water three or four times. Finally I forced my body up from under the below negative water, and slowly made my way to the other side, trying not to be swept back under the current.

I was soaking wet, and freezing. My lips were turning blue, as a cloud of smoke exited my mouth everytime I breathed out.

I took a look around making sure, that whatever had been behind me, wasnt following me. I finally saw in front of me, a beautiful home, covered in Ivory.

I had made it back to the Inn. I picked up my pace, as I jetted for the building. Luckily Sophie was nowhere to be seen.

I made my way up three flights of stairs, and to my bedroom door.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I dropped to the floor, as I let out heartbreaking cry, after heartbreaking cry. My body was convulsing, as I choked on snot and tears.

I didnt even bother to take my wet clothes off of my clammy, freezing body.

I had ran from my dad again, just like my mom did ten years ago, just like I did ten years ago, just like I did today.

My heart broke all over again as I thought of seeing him, of touching him, of hugging him.

My thoughts then turned to Edward. How could he be so cruel? I wanted to tell him the truth! I was just about too! Why did Charlie have to show up then?! Why did he have to be there?

My heart yearned for him. Edward had opened up to me about such personnel things, I never wanted to hurt him, or use him. I cared greatly for him, more then any man, besides my father.

I never wanted to hurt anyone. My yearning for Edward was quickly put aside to the thoughts of Alice.

Oh Alice, my poor, poor Alice. I had hurt her beyond repair.

I started to cry even louder, "Alice, im so sorry", I cried.

"Im so sorry Alice, Im so so sorry", I almost screamed as I choked on the tears that were coming more frequently.

I was alarmed when I felt a draft running up my back side. I had never shut the door behind myself.

I looked at the door, to the shadows against the wall, some one was standing there. I whimpered away towards the bed.

"Please Bella, dont cry", the beautiful voice pleaded.

Alice stepped out of the shadows, it was like seeing an angel.

"A-l-lii-ce?", I shivered?

She walked towards me and shut the door behind herself.

She moved closer to me and sat on the bed. I was un able to hold onto my tears. I cried louder and louder, at the thought of her sitting here, after I had hurt her. My face was laying on an extremely wet spot on the floor, from where my tears and snot had left my face.

I was still in my wet clothes. I looked up to see Alice jumping off the bed gracefully, and bending down towards me, to pick me up.

"A-l-l-ii-ce, what are y-yo-ou-u doing h-h-ee-re", I said as my teeth chattered together from the cold.

"No more talking", she said, "not until Im done."

Just then she took my dripping wet clothes off of me, as I cried, and threw them on the floor. She wrapped me in a towel as she was looking through the drawers, when she found something that made her happy.

She lifted me up, as she took the towel off of me, put a long sleeved flannel shirt over my head, and warm flannel pajama pants over my bottom half. She continued then to put me under all the covers, and tuck me in.

She made her way over onto the empty spot next to me on the bed. She never got under the blankets with me, but she layed next to me, curled up with me.

"Bella, I dont know exactly what happened back there, but I know your in pain, I know you did what you felt was right, I am not mad at you at all, I love you a lot. Ignore Edward, he was being ridiculous. He just doesnt open up easily, hell come around, I know it", she said sympathetically.

I was too tired, to cry. I had cried all day, as I was running. If I could though, I would have cried even louder now.

"Alice, I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt anyone, really. Its such a complicated story. I was trying to protect you all, I was trying to protect my father. I never prepared myself for talking to anyone, or lying, because I didnt ever think for one second, Id meet anyone. I didnt think talking to any one was really ever going to be an option. Please forgive me? Please", I said quietly.

"Of course, I forgive you!", she said as she inched closer to me, hugging me.

I stayed up for a couple hours more, telling Alice everything. I told her how my mom had kidnapped me, how my dad never came for me. I told her how I just wanted too see him, without hurting him. I told her how lonely, and sad I had been all these years. She would squeeze my hand, when I felt uncomfortable, telling me to go on.

When I was finished explaining everything, she stared at me in awe.

"Ive never met anyone as strong, and as selfless as you, Bella Swan", she said.

I was startled to hear my full name finally, but it felt good.

Alice kept playing with my hair, and talking to me, until I fell asleep. I couldnt keep my eyes open any longer. I was in a deep sleep, but I could sware id hear Alice, argue with someone, or laugh a sinister laugh. Im sure I had dreamt it all. I woke up once, and found her gone, but when I woke up the next day, she was still next to me curled up.

Morning light shone through the glass doors, forcing me to wake up. It was finally sunny, I opened my eyes fully, scanning the room for Alice.

My heart dropped, I had dreamed everything, the Cullens hated me and would never forgive me, but forget me, they would.

I started to cry a little bit, trying to contain myself, but I couldnt keep the tears, fully down.

"Im just a waist", I cried, "I hurt everyone."

I put my face back down against the pillow, trying to hide my sobs, I was crying enough now, that I couldnt hear anything but myself crying.

"Bella sweetie, what is it?", I heard Alice say.

I looked up to see if I was dreaming, she was standing outside the doorway now, making her way back in, as she told someone to hold on.

"Alice, why are you here?", I sobbed.

Her expression was alarmed.

"Do you not want me to be?", she said as her eyes dropped to the ground.

"Oh my! No Alice! Of course I want you here!", I cried.

"I just meant, why are you still putting up with me?", I said nervously.

"Bella! Because I love you! Thats what families do. We love each other through the pain, forgive each other through the bad times, and help each other, even if it hurts us, or the ones we love.", she said softly.

"I dont deserve it Alice, You are far too kind to me", I chocked back the tears.

"No Bella, you do deserve it! You are far too kind to everyone else! You always take everyone else's pain, before your own. You care whole heartedly about everyone else, and its the very least I can do, to prove to you, how much of an amazing person you are", she said matter of factly.

"Who were you talking to out there?", I asked curiously.

"Get dressed and Ill show you", she said with a cheery smile.

I hurried up and threw on a long sleeved shirt, a pair of sneakers, and jeans.

"You can come in now", Alice called out to whoever was behind the door.

I was scared now, was it Edward? Would his icy glare send me back over the edge?

I finally looked up at as they approached me.

- ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Bells, you okay?", the voice asked.

"Charlie, what are you doing here?", I gasped in shock.

I could tell he felt as uncomfortable as I did, so I rephrased my question.

"I mean, dont you hate me?", I said sadly.

"Bells, do you think we could go somewhere else and talk?", he asked though he wouldnt look at me.

I looked at Alice, as she shook her head, telling me to go.

"Ill be here when you get back babe", she said sweetly.

I didnt know where we were going, but I followed Charlie to his police cruiser.

"Ch-h-aa-r-li-e", I croaked.

He looked at me as if to say, go ahead.

"Im so sorry dad, I really am, I am so sorry for everything. I am so sorry that I ever hurt you, not even just yesterday, I am so sorry I hurt you ten years ago", I said as tears over took my whole body.

Charlies eyes were broken, and I couldnt tell if it was because I was making him remember or not.

"Bells, there is alot, we need to talk about", he said as he reached over and did something I never expected. He hugged me. I could feel his body start to shake, as I did something I never expected, I pulled him in closer. I cried louder now. I finally had my dad in my arms, I could smell him, I could breathe him in.

"Isabella sweet heart", he said as he brushed through my hair. "Please dont cry."

"I was so scared youd hate me daddy, I was so scared that you wouldnt have cared I left. I didnt know how youd re act, so I tried to come here and see you from a distance, so I wouldnt hurt you, but yesterday, everything got ruined", my sobs roared through the car.

"Bella, darling. You didnt ruin anything. You didnt hurt me yesterday either. I was scared when you left, I didnt know where you ran too. Alice said she knew and that shed follow you. She said I should wait until today, to come. To give you time to calm down. You have never hurt me baby, I hurt me, not you", he said, and I could feel the tears running down his cheeks, onto my hair.

I looked up at him, both of us were crying.

"Bella, I love you, and I always have, my sweet child.", he said soothingly, all though I knew we both felt awkard, it was what we both needed.

"I love you too", I choked back,

He started to drive after a couple minutes, and we were now pulling into my old home.

He looked over at me to make sure I was okay.

I smiled and pretended, I wasnt freaking out on the inside.

"I thought this was the best place to talk, its quiet and private", he said waiting for me to look at him.

"Its fine dad", I said as I followed him into the house.

We walked into the front door, and I stood in the living room, scared to move.

Charlie noticed, and waved for me to come in further.

"I know this has to be hard, and strange. Im going out back for something. Please take a look around. I dont want you too feel weird Bella", he said sympathetically.

I waited till he left the room, I still didnt feel right looking around, being that this wasnt my home anymore, but something deep down inside compelled me too.

I looked around the kitchen and the living room, everything was still the same. Nothing had been touched. There was still a picture of the three of us on the mantel.

I had taken my time, looking around the house, hours had passed, but it only seemed like minutes.

I found myself walking up the stairs, I didnt want too, but I had no control over my feet, they continued up to my dads room. His room was the same, a bed, a drawer, a cd player, some more of his things. It hadnt changed much, except it was missing my mothers things. It didnt look as sad as it did the day I left. My father definitely lived in this room, and it showed.

I shut his door quickly and made my way back towards the beginning of the hall way. I didnt know if I should open the door to the room, that once belonged to me, but I did.

I was more then surprised at what I had found. It wasnt empty, it wasnt empty at all. There was now a bed inside, the headboard back against the wall, with the window a few feet away. There was a tattered old book shelf, lined with books upon books across from the end of the bed. The authors I all loved now, adorned the bookshelf. Back near the door, but behind it, was a desk, with a desk lamp. The wall paper was still the same, and on my bed was an old quilt my grandmom had made for me. My walls had pictures of my family on it, when we were all happy.

I sat on the bed, I was beyond puzzled. My mom had taken my stuff, why did my dad buy more things?

I couldnt believe I was back in my room. I was in shock, I felt numb.

"I know your probably wondering, how this stuff all got here and all", Charlie said examining my facial expression. I hadnt heard him walk in, and I wasnt sure if I felt comfortable yet being around him, with so much on my mind. It was better then me asking him why my room was filled though. His expression startled me, something wasnt right. His eyes were lifeless, and something about the walk he walked and talked now, made its way into my head, as a warning.

I shook my head slowly, as if to say yes.

"We have alot to talk about", he said as he sat across from me on the bed. My head was up against the back board, and my dad was across from me, not really looking at me, but at the wall across from him.

"For starters, does your mom know your here?", Charlie asked, his eyes looking up to mine for a second.

"No dad, I didnt tell her where I was. She is traveling with Phil, and this wasnt something I planned, it was spur of the moment. Im an adult, I didnt think I had to ask permission to see you, dad?", I said with a confused expression.

"Bells, I didnt mean it like that. Its just so much more complicated then it seems. Your not suppose to be here Bel-", he tried to finish but my jaw had dropped.

"What do you mean, Im not _suppose_ to be here? Your my father?", I said asked quietly.

"I know that Bells, I know that. Your mom took you away for a reason though, it was part of the plan", he answered.

"You knew?! You knew she was taking me dad? You let her just take me? Why? Didnt you want me?", I said as tears formed along my eye lashes.

"I didnt know when she was taking you, or where, I just knew that one day she would. We decided it would be better, if it was spur of the moment, where I didnt know, so no one could trace you guys back here. _It would be like you guys never existed_", he said with a cold face.

"Never e-x-ist-ed?", I choked on the words, "What do you mean? You dont want me to exist? I really was a bother to you. You were embarrassed of me, werent you? You dont want me dad, do you?", I asked as hurt filled my eyes, and my voice started to crack.

"No Bella, I dont. Yes Bella, you were taken away so your mom could start a life, where youd be loved. Your not wanted here. Your not suppose to be here, you left for a reason. I suggest you go back as soon as possible.", he said.

I studied his face, and for a minute I thought he was going to cry, but I was sure Id made that up, because his face was stone cold.

"O-h", was all I could muster up.

"You need to leave, do you hear me? Go away Bella, go back to where you belong", he said facing me his eyes were cold, his expression hard.

"Bu-t dad, I doo-n-t belong, anywh-ere", I cried.

"Thats not my problem anymore, now is it?", he said as he got up and opened my bed room door. He motioned for me to leave.

I was hurt, I was hurt beyond repair, I couldnt think straight or see.

"No, its not", I whispered.

"Im sorry to have bothered you Cheif Swan", I said in a monotone, as I walked down the steps to the front door.

"Wait Bella", Charlie spit out.

"What Charlie?", I said.

"Would you like a ride back?", he asked, and I sware I saw him wince in pain.

"No thanks. Ill walk, I guess it was good to see you sir", I said as I walked out.

Charlie shut the door behind me, and I heard him lock it.

I didnt want to go back and face Alice yet.

I had protected my father( I winced at the thought of his words, of calling him Charlie to his face), I had hurt the only people who had shown interest in me.

All for Charlie to tell me he never loved me.

I headed towards the back of the house, and started walking towards the woods.

I walked for hours, un able to think. I was so numb, I was so empty.

It had started to pour, and this only made my eye sight worse.

I had been walking for hours, my legs were tired, my body wanted to shut down completely.

It was now dark out from the rain, and the sun going down.

I sat on a tree trunk that had been cut down. I could see a light off in the distance, but I didnt care.

I wanted to rot right where I was sitting. My body started to tremble, I couldnt take the pain that was now flowing through my body.

I let out a piercing shriek, as I cried uncontrollably.

I had lied to my mother, to come here for a man who didnt love me. For a man who never did. My mom had Phil, Id go home and be alone still.

I could never tell her what I had found out, shed hate me even more.

My thoughts went back to Edward. Id never see his face again, Id never get to say goodbye. That was for the better, I tried to convince myself.

I had to get up, I couldnt sit here any longer, my heart was going to explode. I got up and started to walk towards the light, so I could see where I was more clearly.

I had been walking for a couple minutes, and I hadnt noticed the tree root sticking up. As I walked forward, my toe hit the root, and it sent me flying onto my face. Face first into the mud.

I couldnt get up, my body was giving up on me. It didnt care anymore, why should it? I was nothing to, nobody. I screamed as loud as I could, letting the anger fill my lungs, and then releasing it.

I had to let go, I gave in to my body, and layed my head down to die in the cold, wet, muddy, puddle, thats when I saw a flash light, and saw someone approaching.

I was sure, this was it, not only was my body giving up on me, but I was going to be killed right here, right now.

**No one would ever miss me, luckily for them.**


	10. Fall to pieces

Chapter Ten: Have I told you, I ache? Have I told you, I ache? Have I told you, I ache for you?

_Edwards P.o.V:_

I was tired of dealing with everyone, so I sat up in my room by myself for the past two days.

Its not like I could sleep, "Oh the joys, of being a vampire", I thought dryly to myself.

When my body couldnt take the mind blowing pain, I decided to dart out of my glass door, and run through the woods, far out of Washington.

I let out a piercing cry, as I cried tearless sobs. I dropped to my knee's, as my head fell into my hands.

I screamed and screamed, trying to release the pain from my body.

"I hate being me! I just want to cry for once!", I screamed.

The empty spot, where my beating heart should be, was completely empty, and the space increased, second by second.

I had lost the one thing I had truly loved. A girl I knew nothing about, but felt truly connected too. Bella had made me feel alive, she made me feel like I had a soul, like I had a heart.

Now I was left to remember, I was nothing but a monster. A monster no one could ever love.

I growled a loud growl, as I gripped the spot in my chest, as the pain increased.

I had to regain my composure, I had to get home, I had been out here for hours.

I ran through the woods, toward home, and through my door, before anyone could notice.

I was tired of Alice's thoughts, I didnt want to see her face anymore, I didnt want to hear her voice, or feel her pain.

I didnt want to breath her scent in, I didnt want to miss those beautiful eyes.

I had hurt her, beyond repair, but I couldnt bring myself to fix it, because she had hurt me first.

What had hit me the minute I had laid my eyes onto her beautiful face, took me by storm.

I had never smelled a human, like that before, her blood was sweet, but I couldnt resist the desire to touch her. I didnt want her blood, as much as I wanted to know her thoughts, to be around her, to know exactly who she was.

It was more then her scent that drew me in. I couldnt read her mind, I couldnt understand her expressions. She was beautiful, a very conventional beauty.

She was very much her own person, she was different and I could sense it right away, or so I thought.

She didnt look at my family, in the diner, in complete disgust, or lust.

She was in awe of them, not their beauty, or pale skin. She was hungry for something, and by looking at them, she was getting it.

I felt highly rude, when my infatuation with her, interfered with her complete awe of my family.

Her eyes met mine and I could feel my dead heart, beat, or so I had imagined it did. I felt protective of her, from the first encounter I had with her.

I didnt understand, why did I feel this way about a human being? They were all the same, money, sex, lust, lies.

But not her, no, definitely not her.

I felt rage, I felt hurt, I felt sad, when I thought of her.

I was consumed by anger the most though.

When I stopped thinking about her in that beautiful light, that light that saved me from complete darkness, I could give way to my hate.

I had almost told her the truth about myself, about my family.

I had almost, risked my families life, for a stupid human, who couldnt give a shit about me.

How stupid could I be? How stupid could she be? She needed to stay away from me , this was for the better.

I could have killed her at any second. "I would have, I could have", I kept telling myself.

As I thought of her now, I felt nothing but disgust with myself, and I felt angry at her.

Why did she have to lie to me? I opened up to her, I told her things about myself, but here she was, lying to my face.

She was fake, and there was nothing more to her

"She isnt worth it", I kept telling myself.

Alice had kept me updated on her every move, when Bella was awake, while Bella slept, Alice kept talking to me through her thoughts, though she never showed me what had happened with Bella, she let me feel her undeniable pain.

The last thing I saw was Bella leaving with Charlie, and come to think of it, I hadnt seen Alice in quite some time either.

I had read Charlies thoughts though as he also blocked out anything that happened between him and Bella.

The only thing I could read was that he didnt want her here, that she needed to leave.

I couldnt find Alice's thoughts anywhere, as I searched for them, and I now realized that I hadnt heard her thoughts for quite some time.

I wanted to go down stairs and ask where Alice was, but that would only make everyone suspicious of me.

I decided in the instant, that the only way for this, was to hate Bella Swan. I was never one to feel inferior to anyone, and here was this stupid little girl, making me question myself.

Esme would be worried about me, being up here for two days straight, and Carlisle would be angry at me for neglecting Esme's feelings.

I let go of any concern, or love I had for Bella, and let the hate take over. When I finally felt confident again, I headed down the stairs.

Everyone was in their normal positions. Carlisle was in his study, Esme was on the couch, watching some show on babies, and pregnancy. Rosalie and Emmett, were playing air hockey, and Jasper was by the door, standing in the corner, back against the wall.

I hadnt been paying attention to anyone's thoughts, until Jasper's hit me full force.

_"Where the hell are you Alice? I sware to God, if any thing happens to you, Ill kill her, Ill kill her myself! All of this over some stupid human! Alice! Where ARE you?", Jasper screamed in his thoughts._

I shuddered at the animosity that Jasper felt towards Bella. Jasper and Alice spent all their time together, in some way or another, and here was Bella, interfering with that.

I felt the hate pulsating through my body, she was tearing my family apart. Rosalie wouldnt talk to anyone, but Emmett, Jasper was in pain, and Alice was constantly gone, and mad at me.

"Where the hell have you been?", I heard Jasper's voice speak out.

I looked up to see Alice dripping wet, carrying Bella in her arms, through the front door.

Bella's lips were blue as ice, and her hair was full of mud. Her body had cuts everywhere, but thankfully no blood. Her face was dirty, and I could tell she was weak, as her body shivered from the cold.

"That girl is more trouble than I could have fathomed", Rosalie laughed a sinister laugh.

Alice shot her a dirty look, and then directed her eyes towards Esme.

"Oh my goodness! What happened?", Esme cried in concern.

Alice slowly layed Bella on the couch, and covered her with blanket, after blanket.

I realized just then that I still couldnt hear Alice's thoughts, and when I finally could, she was thinking of the most absurd things in the world, like the square root of one, and the answer to pie.

She was doing this on purpose, Alice didnt trust me anymore.

I felt the hate overflowing out of my body.

Bella was turning my family against each other. Alice my best friend, my favorite sibling, the one person who constantly kept me sane, was now against me.

I felt a growl rumbling in my lungs, as my body started to shake.

Carlisle had now entered the room, and sadly enough, my emotions didnt care, that his was sending me a look of warning.  
_  
"Be careful Edward, calm down", he kept repeating in his thoughts._

"What the hell is she doing here?", I spit out. "Jasper has been sick to his stomach worrying about you! Does he mean anything to you at all anymore? Or is it all about Bella now? Who the hell is she? We're your family Alice, damnt! She wont care about you in a month or two, but the people who will, you just leave behind!"

Alice's mouth had dropped as she looked at Jasper.

Jasper was shocked, he was angry at me for sharing his thoughts, and a bit relieved, because he would never express his anger towards Alice.

He was more then angry at me, for talking to Alice like that, and I could hear him thinking up a plan to straighten me out, when no one was around.

"Alice, she's tearing our family apart! She doesnt belong here!", I said as hate over took my entire being.

I then dicrected my stare towards Bella, who was sitting up alittle bit, looking at me with the saddest eyes I had ever seen.

I couldnt help myself, she was the prey now, she made it worse by egging on my demon.

"Bella you dont belong here! You are not wanted here, or welcome! Go back home and ruin everyone else's lifes there! You leave a trail of distruction everywhere you go! LEAVE NOW!", I snarled at her.

Bella's eyes had drooped as she unsteadily got to her feet. Her legs were shaking as she ran out of the house.

Carlisle gave me a look of true disappointment, as Esme's face fell, and she cried sobless tears. He put his arm around her and directed her upstairs.

Rosalie laughed, as Emmett shook his head in disaprovement. "She was a part of this family, bro", Emmett said as dissapointed flowed from his voice.

Rosalie looked at him and stormed off upstairs, Emmett pushed passed me as he ran upstairs to follow her.

I looked in Jaspers direction, he was now in the crouch position ready to attack. I looked at him in shock, was he that protective of Bella? He just threatend her life not even ten minutes before.

It wasnt until I was flying backwards, that I had realized Alice had left hooked me so hard, my face flew backwards, as my body followed.

I jumped up into the attack position, but before Jasper could jump between us, Alice had lunged for my throat.

She knocked me back down to the ground, as she scratched me, and punched me.

Jasper ran up behind Alice as he took her by the arms and held her against his body, as she thrashed, and tried to escape for me again.

I shot up onto my feet, holding onto my jaw.

"See Alice! This is exactly what Im talking about! We are family! Does that not mean anything to you anymore?", I choked out.

"Not any more!", she growled at me.

My jaw dropped, as hurt crossed my face.

Alice stormed out of the house, as Jasper sunk to the floor.

He knew not to follow, he felt helpless, he knew Alice was in pain.

Alice cursed at me through her thoughts, as she threatened me the minute she got back, she would rip me apart, and burn my body herself.

I sighed, I didnt want to fight with her, and I wasnt going to egg her on. She was still my sister non the less.

I know that she loved Bella immensely, she had always wanted a sister, a best friend. Yes she had Rosalie, but its not the same thing. Rosalie had herself, and that was good enough for her.

I headed out of the house and was now running towards the Denali Clan, far, far away.

I needed to give Alice time to cool off, and I needed to be away from everyone while I sorted my own thoughts out.

I had truly hurt Bella, even though it was for her own good, she was hurting. She would get over it though quickly, she would figure that out eventually, she was human, she didnt have to live with herself forever, I did.__

I ran faster and faster, as I jetted through the woods, through the mountains. I know the Denali clan, would give me space, I know Carlisle would call them, and update them on my rant.

I had hurt my family, every single one of them. I didnt matter to anyone anymore.  
_  
I was now contemplating the worth of my own life._


	11. Broken

**Chapter Eleven: Broken  
**

**Alice's P.O.V:**

I had thought that Bella going with Charlie would be a great idea, I had thought that I could give Bella's difficult world, some sort of peace, that was until, Charlie changed his mind in a split second, and shattered Bella into a million pieces.

I was going to go home first and do some things, then meet her back at the inn, that was until she disappeared from Charlies backyard, into the forest.

I had blocked Edward out of my head all day. I had never been mad at my brother before, and right now I loathed his existence.

I didnt know where Bella was, I couldnt follow her future, because she couldnt make her mind up.

My visions were blurry, and were frantically running through my mind, I couldnt make any of them out, as I so desperately tried to find her.

I made my rounds around the forest about twelve times now, and was worried Id leave a trail of dead plants, from where I was wearing the ground out.

I was finally about to return home through the woods, to ask my family for help, when I smelled something familiar.

I headed through the woods, oddly enough the smell was close to my house.

I searched all around me as I neared home, but couldnt see anything, that was until I heard the piercing cry.

I shone my flashlight into the direction, and now saw a lifeless body laying face first in the mud.

"Oh my god! Bella!", I shrieked.

She didnt move a muscle or look up, and I was more then sure she was dead. I ran over to her and scooped her lifeless body into my hands.

Her body was cold, and her eyes were closed shut. I sat on the ground, and laid her across my lap. I lightly tapped her face, to try to wake her up.

She didnt move, I was at a loss for what to do. I layed my head on her chest and started to cry, though crying for me wasnt the same as crying for a human. Tears would never form.

"Bella, please dont leave me! Please" I cried.

I was now crazed with grief as I started to shake her body. "Bella damnt dont die on me!", I screamed.

"Bella, Wake up! Please Bella! Please wake up!", I cried.

I laid my head on her chest, crying dryless tears, as I waited for a sound.

I heard a cough, and looked down. Bella was choking, I sat her up, as she threw up, what I believed to be, mud.

I patted her back, as she threw it all up, and started to cry.

I hugged her as close to me as I could, and tried to sooth her. I carressed her back, and kept repeating "Shhh Bella, my dear, your fine now, I wont let anyone else hurt you", I promised her.

If I had only known what was in store, I would have never brought her home, and just had Carlisle look at her, in her hotel room.

I scooped her up, and darted towards the house. She was still a bit unconscious as I ran through the forest towards my house, and I know she'd never know the speed we were going at.

When we entered the house, the first person I saw was Edward standing across from the door. Jasper was next to the open door, back against the wall.

"Where the hell have you been?", I heard Jasper's voice speak out.

I glanced at him for a second and was now looking for Carlisle. Rosalie made a snide comment, I shot her a look, that shut her up right away and I made a mental note to rip her hair out later.

I found Esme's eyes, and pleaded with her through mine. When she shook her head to say yes, I knew it was okay for Bella to be here.

"Oh my goodness! What happened?", Esme cried in concern

I didnt exactly know what had happened, so I didnt answer.

I walked towards the couch, and layed Bella down. I took all the blankets I could find, and I covered her shivering body.

Carlisle had walked out of his study and was now eyeing Edward up.

I was just about to call all my family into Carlisle's study to talk, and let Bella sleep, when Edward exploded.

I couldnt believe the things that were coming out of his mouth, and I now saw that Bella was wide awake.

I understood fully why, when Edward was angry, the next town over would hear him.

As he continued his foolish rant, I looked to Jasper in shock. Was Jasper really mad at me, for spending time away from him, to help this poor girl?

Him and I had an eternity to spend together, this girl had, maybe 70 years to live, that's if she makes it out of Forks alive.

I saw Jaspers face, and knew that he was as shocked as I was.

Clearly Edward had overheard his thoughts and was now throwing Jasper in front of the bus. Jasper would never speak to me with such hostility and I knew when him and I would eventually sit down to talk, he'd totally understand.

I saw Jaspers face now, as it turned into anger. Edward was attacking me, and Jasper didnt like it, I could careless though about me, I was more worried about Bella.

Edward could think those idiotic things all he wanted, I loved my family wholeheartedly, and Jasper first and for most, they all knew that. Bella needed my help and they'd get over their childish attitudes immediately.

Bella had sat up, as her big brown eyes, were now, the saddest brown eyes I had ever seen.

Edward told her to leave, that she didnt belong here, that she ruined everything. Bella slowly got up, trying to keep her balance, and ran out, almost falling face forward.

I was now more then angry, and could feel the hate bubbling over. Edward would pay, and he would pay very soon.

Carlisle took a very upset Esme upstairs. Rosalie laughed, as Emmett protested that "Bella was apart of the family." This only made Rosalie even more mad, so she stormed off, only for Emmett to run after her.

Edward, Jasper, and I, were the only ones left. Edward would pay now, I didnt care that he was my brother anymore, there was no need for the way he acted. I was disgusted by him, and his actions.

Edward was too busy looking at Jasper, as I crouched down to attack. I noticed out of the corner of my eye, Jasper had crouched down too, he was going to protect me, no matter the cost.

Edward looked at him shocked and confused, he didnt see me coming. I jumped at him, throwing a punch, that could only feel like cement hitting his hard face.

It didnt phase me, his hard face, but I could tell my punch had hurt. His head had flown backwards, as his body followed. I was ready to attack again, as Edward was now in the attack position, but before he could have a chance, I lunged for his throat. I clawed at his neck, as I made my way to his face. I punched him again sending him backwards onto the floor.

My next object was to rip his throat out, but by then Jasper had grabbed my arms, I didnt want to hurt him, but I fought against him, as he cradled me to his body. I wasnt fighting my hardest against him, I couldnt hurt Jasper, he was my life.

Edward shot back up onto his feet, holding his jaw.

"See Alice! This is exactly what Im talking about! We are family! Does that not mean anything to you anymore?", he choked out.

The venom was burning my throat, I couldnt push it down, I wanted Edwards throat and I wanted it bad. I had to get away.

"Not anymore!", I growled at him, as I stormed out the door.

Jasper stayed behind, he knew better. I wasnt one to get mad, but when I did, Id rip your fucking throat out, if I felt it was the right thing to do.

I didnt know where I was going, but I cursed and threatened Edward through my thoughts.

I tried to smell Bella out, but all I could smell were muts.

"Stupid dogs", I muttered to myself.

How could I smell them so close? They werent aloud here, and we werent aloud there. This smell though, it was different, very different.

A mix of a human and a mutt. I finally smelled Bella mixed in there too, as I ran closer and closer to the target. I thought to myself "No this couldnt be!".

Of all the freaking places, there was no way in hell, she was at **La Push**.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**_~I know this is short, and Im sorry its taken me so long to update, the holidays were extremely hectic, and I had a mild case of writers block! *Insert Face Palm* Anyway I wanted to update it, even though its short, so you get the story from Alice also. Thank you so much to everyone who has read this, and who always leaves me something to read:)~_**


	12. Intuition

**Chapter Twelve: Intuition**

_Walking through the woods, I stumbled upon a big, white, beautiful mansion. I had seen this building before, of that I am sure. The familairness of this place, should scare me out of my wits, but there was a strange scent drawing me forward. I looked down at the mossy forest, the ground was warm, but it was freezing out, I didnt understand. I realized then, that I was back into that night gown, the beautiful white flowing all around me, guarding me, protecting me, enclosing me, caressing my skin, as if I was some beautiful, mythical creature. The night gown blew in the wind, I could feel the cold breeze, but I was beyond warm. I floated towards the large white castle(even though it wasnt really a castle, it just reminded me of one, because of its beauty and mystery). I found my way onto the back porch, the door was slightly open. I wasnt sure if I was suppose to be intruding here, but my body pushed me forward. I put my hand on the door, as it opened itself all the way._

My mind was telling me to leave, but my body refused to listen. I looked around the beautiful house, it was empty, except for a few white couches here and there. I walked from the porch door to the living room, and as I walked further into the house, that familair scent invaded my nose even stronger then before. It was such a sweet scent, so enticing, so seductive. I couldnt remember how I knew it, or why the walls of this place, made me have a slight case of Deju Vue, but they did, and for some reason, _unbeknownst__ to me, that wouldnt stop my body from pushing further and further into the house. The whole bottom half of the house was open, so I could see it all from the living room, so my feet moved towards the stairs, as I ever so lightly touched them with the tips of my toes. I made my way to the second floor, as I walked from one end of the huge hall to the other, I was surrounded by glass on both sides, a hallway made of glass, I guess you would say. All the doors were wide open, and there wasnt a thing in any of the rooms. I dont know why, but for some reason this made me sad, it made me feel empty. I dont know what I expected to see, but the mere thought of this house being empty, didnt feel right to me._

_I finally made it to the end of the hall way, and was now pressing my feet up the stairs onto the third floor, but instead of stopping there, I went even further up the stairs and onto the fourth floor, this whole floor was one big open room, windows surrounded this place. Privacy was obliviously not an issue for the owner of this home. I sat on the floor, entranced into a daze, I needed to figure out why I knew this beautiful mansion, what that smell was that summoned me here in the first place. I dont know how long I had been here, but I had fallen asleep on the floor, on the white carpet, that covered all of the flooring. I hadnt noticed at first, but it was getting dark out, and the mere thought of being alone in this open house, in the dark had me shivering. I carefully got up and made my way back down onto the first floor, something made me stop dead in my tracks, something told me to go back to the third floor, the floor I hadnt bothered to look at. I wanted to argue that I didnt want too, that I wanted to leave, but I had no control over my body. As I made my way onto the second floor, that smell came back full force. It wasnt coming from the second floor though, and I was now terrified to step foot onto the third floor. As I made my way off the second floor and onto the end of the third floor steps, I stopped , I was frozen. This room wasnt like the rest, it wasnt as open or white, it was darker then them. On the other side of the steps to my right was a spacious room, and on my left was a huge kitchen that took up most of the room onto my left. The counters were taller then I was, and they surrounded the front of the kitchen. I couldnt see past them, or into the kitchen, but something inside my body said to be very careful, and quiet._

As I slowly stepped foot onto the floor, the floor board creaked, and I heard a strange noise, I couldnt make it out exactly, but I couldnt stop moving closer to it. As I moved closer to the kitchen, I heard the noise even louder then before. I slowly and carefully maneuevered my head around the corner of the cabinet, and what I saw would haunt me forever. There were two bodies, one was white as a ghost with scratches and deep cuts covering his body. The other was tan and hairy as can be, he had scratches and cuts all over his body also. They were standing up, toe to toe, and the look in their eyes scared me to death. They didnt see me, and if they did, they never showed it. When they both finally turned to the sides, a scream boiled up from my stomach. It was Edward and..... who was that? I knew the face, but the hair had me more then confused. It wasnt until I heard him speak, that I knew. "Either you kill me right now, or ill rip you apart, blood sucker". It was Jacob.

They lunged for each others throats, and as they danced into each other, I realized they were both bleeding immensely. At the same time they both pulled out, two beautiful, silver knives, and in that second I knew, they were both going to die right here. Just as they went to stab each other, something came flying from behind each of them, I couldnt make them out at first, but I then realized, as Jacob and Edward plunged the knives into the air at each other, I knew exactly who they were. It was Billy, with his teeth bared like he was an animal, and Esme who was now growling. In that mere second, I realized Jacob and Edward wouldnt die here, Esme and Billy would. As soon as Jacob and Edward realized it, it was too late, everything happened too fast. The knives were now entering Esme's heart and Billys throat. I went to let out a scream, but someone covered my mouth, and pulled me back quietly. I wanted to kick and scream. I wanted to cry for Edward and Jacob, I wanted to cry even louder for Esme and Billy, but the confusion was blinding me. Why were Jacob and Edwards teeth so sharp, and why were Billy and Jacob so hairy? I didnt know where we were going, but I felt myself being pulled backwards, up the stairs. It wasnt until we got upstairs, and I heard the person gasp, that I realized who it was. When I looked up I saw why they were gasping, Carlisle and Sam Uley were both laying on the floor bleeding. Carlisle was as pale as a ghost, and Sam's eyes were in the back of his head. Alice started to sob, but picked me up into her arms and flew down the stairs, as she was about to run out the front door, something large came out of nowhere, and slammed into Alice's forhead.

She dropped to the floor, with me still in her hands. I looked up at her, and saw she wasnt breathing. Just then someone grabbed me from behind and started to pull me into their arms. I started to scream and curse, I started to kick and cry. "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME! GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" I couldnt control myself any longer and as soon as I started to loose control on my body, it happened. My body started to convulse, and I felt my muscles tighten. I didnt know exactly what was happening, but the anger inside of me, was too much for me to control. My body started to ripple, as I felt an unbelievable strength building up into my body. I didnt want to touch anything, but at the same time I felt the urge to destroy everything. I felt my mouth, as two large fangs started to grow at a rapid pace and took the place of two of my teeth. The urge for blood was extremely strong, and made me sick to my stomach. It wasnt something I could fight against, I wanted blood, and then I wanted to kill anything that smelled like blood. My body was having a war against itself, but that didnt stop the madness that was boiling inside. I looked up to see the person who had hurt Alice, because they were going to pay. I looked up in time to see Alice in the crouch position and Charlie, with unbelievably big muscles, ready to attack also. They were staring at each other like they were going to eat the other one.

This flamed the anger inside of me more then I could believe, and as they both reached for me, I backed off. Charlie moved closer to me, as I moved back. I finally moved back so far, that my body was up against the wall. He had me pinned, but before he could know what was happening I had thrown him across the room and into the wall. The smell of blood from his head, was making me queezy. I wanted to taste it and I wanted to throw it up at the same time. I looked over to see Alice's gold eyes glowing at me, she was surprised, but a bit of her was trying to smile. I felt the need to protect her and tear her apart, at the same time. It was eating away at me, both of the urges. Alice stepped closer to me. "Alice, please dont", I growled. She didnt listen of course, she inched closer. "Alice, I dont know whats going on, please dont", I repeated through clenched teeth. She did what she wanted, as she danced closer to me." Alice Please Dont!", I tried to scream, I could full the anger bubbling over my insides and out. "Alice", I thought I screamed, but I realized the scream wasnt coming from me, it was coming from Alice. I looked up too see blood coming from her chest, and her eyes were blood shot. I moved closer to her, as her body started to go limp.

**  
****Thats when it happened, my vision went red with blood, and I collapsed.**_  
_


	13. But the Demon in me we were best friends

**Chapter Thirteen: But the demon in me, was the best of friends from the start**.

It was as if, in that instance something inside of me snapped.

I knew that going back would never be an option, I knew that I would never be _myself_ again.

Instead I would be this new version of whoever it was that I use to be. Whether whoever I use to be was fictional or not, was totally irrelevant to my new self.

My new self said a big **_FUCK YOU_** to anyone and everyone who could have, or might have been involved with my former self.

I was not alive before, I did not exist or breathe until now.

You might ask yourself how one can become so jaded so fast?

Hahaha, Forgive me, I do not intend to be **entirely** rude to you.

I know how confused you might be, and for that I do apologize without any hints of sarcasm or hidden messages.

I would be just as confused if not more if I was you, and to be quite honest I am me, living this whole ordeal and I am more then confused myself.

You see I awoke in a house I did not know, in a place I wasnt quite sure I would have ever known even if I had passed Geography with A plus's.

The face staring back at me in the mirror did not belong to me, and as I am thinking about it now, what did my real face look like?

Would I know even if it was staring me back right now? Honestly probably not, because I couldnt tell you who I was, what I looked like, who any of my relatives are, or were, or if I changed at all because I couldnt remember anything, not even my own face.

I wanted to panic, I wanted to scream and kick, cry and curse. Well cursing I probably did, because instead of all those emotions, I felt hatred towards everyone and anyone who may have or who would cross my path.

Was this normally who I was? Was I usually so full of anger, and distaste for the human species?

Something about the word human species left a bitter taste in my mouth, and I was more then confused by this.

I didnt even know what year it was, or the month or date. Something even more important, who's fucking house was I in? And should I be prepared to explain myself if I were to run into someone here?

For some reason a voice inside my head told me I was totally alone inside this house.

The demon inside of me laughed _"And alone you are"_, he said.

_Well thank you captain fucking obvious._ And so this is how my day started in a house I did not know, with a face I couldn't remember, arguing with the voice inside my head.

Go ahead and laugh, I am. I would be laughing at you too, if I was in the position your in right now, reading my insane thoughts.

This only made me laugh again, **and it was** an insane laugh.

I figured I had one of two options.

I could **A). Lay here and wait to get shot by the owner**. Or **B). Get a move on and find out where the hell I was.**

As much as I would love a confrontation right now, Id better go with option B.

Jail would not be my best option right now, what with no i.d. or knowledge of who I was.

_"Um sorry Officer, I dont know how I got in there! I sware! Oh and also, I have no idea who I am, where i am from, or where the hell I am"_, Yeah that would go over **so great.**

Say it with me now...._"Mental Institution"._ There we go, now were finally on the same page, er, **somewhat.**

I decided when I finally got up that this wasn't necessarily a house, per say.

More like a cottage, or something of the sort. It was a very beautiful cottage, it had a very warm presence to it.

Warm? What the hell does that even mean? What a stupid fucking thing to insinuate.

I was suddenly repulsed by anything homely or loving. Hm? I know I wasn't any sort of fucking ray of sunshine, but to be so disgusted about a loving home? What the fuck was my problem?

It dawned on me right then and there. What **exactly** was my fucking problem? Who exactly was I before this? Was I exactly this way before? Did I have such disdain for life?

Did I always have such dis-regard for human life? What made me so fucking angry? What made so hateful and bitter? Was I hateful and bitter?

Or was I just a fucking asshole? Did I come out of my mothers fucking vagina such an asshole? Did I even have parents, or any siblings? Did I have any friends?

Was I ever a good person? And there he was again, that fucking voice inside my head growling at the word person. Was I not a human being?

_"If that's what you want to call it", he said._

_Well, then what the fuck do you insist I fucking call myself?, I growled back_

He laughed then, and it wasn't a small chuckle, it was the kind of laugh that starts in the pit of your stomach and works it's way out. It was loud and it was sinister.  
_  
"Fuck you then", I side angrily._

_"Monster, Monster, Monster, Monster", the voice said loudly and then it faded, as it repeated that same word over, and over again._

_"Im the fucking monster? But your the one laughing at such sinister shit? Your a fucking moron", I yelled back.  
_  
He growled then, and from the sound of it, it was meant to scare me, but I just laughed right in his stupid fucking face_._

_"Why yes, yes I am laughing at sinister things, because you and I, are more alike then you know, little one", he said in an odd voice._

_"Little one? If you were in front of me right now, Id rip your fucking head off, you prick", I snarled back.  
_  
Regardless if I was big or little, if I was muscular or scrawny, I detested being thought of as weak.

_"Oh don't take offense", he laughed back._

That was it, I was done arguing with him, because if I didn't stop now, I was going to rip my own fucking head off, to teach him a lesson.

I don't think the person who lived here would appreciate the blood, tissue and ligaments everywhere.

I had to get out of this house and away from the stupid fuck in my head.

I wonder if I cursed this much before? Not like I fucking cared or anything, I liked to fucking curse, but I just wondered.

Nothing was on the walls, and there wasn't much furniture maybe a couch or two.

I noticed large claw marks in the wall to my left.

_"Odd",_ I thought. I guess a bear had gotten in here, maybe that's why they got rid of most of the furniture, or maybe they couldnt afford it after it was destroyed.

The thought of an animal being in here, made the hair on my neck and arms stand up, and all of a sudden I felt defensive, and angry, very fucking angry.

Something inside of my body told me I could take on a bear, or anything of the sort, and the thought of ripping it to shreds made me smile.

I thought about its blood flowing from its body and onto the ground, and I hungered for it, while another part of me said, Id rather just rip it to fucking shreds and that would be that.

Maybe going to see a shrink was a good idea, once I figured out who I was and all that shit.

As soon as thought crossed my mind,something inside of me told me I would **NEVER** go to a shrink and I shouldn't be ashamed of the things I thought about, and it was in that instant that I decided I agreed with this one hundred percent.

What was wrong with the way I thought? Who was the genius that gave some moron the upper hand to decide what was "civilized", and "normal"?

Who the fuck was he to decide? He or she was just like everyone else. They had no right to tell me I wasn't civilized, Ill tell ya they are the "fucked up" ones.

A quote entered my mind in that second, and it suited me well, what was it again, something like....

_"Rules are arbitrary, made for people who believe in Santa Clause or the tooth Fairy... but, hey, not us right?"_

Well I didn't know who the "us" was but I knew that summed me up pretty damn well.

Whatever dude I was ready to blow this joint.

I headed out the door of the cottage, and looked around to notice that this place was surrounded by forest, on every side I looked was forest.

Civilization was nowhere to be seen, and something was telling me, it was going to be quite a bit before I saw it.

So where was i?

I noticed that there was a dirt path down to what looked like a mail box, or some kind of wooden plaque.

The dirt path had been man made, like someone just took their feet and on either side, just drug them down in a straight line.

I walked down the path towards this object and saw it was a map posted on a wooden plaque, with glass covering it.

You are here: Olympic National Forest, it stated and then it had a map to the rest of the State.

Olympic? Where the fuck was that at? I tried to dig into my brain to think of where it was, but I couldn't even remember if ever I went to school or not?

I looked closer to it and saw at the the very top of the map it said 'Washington State', in small letters.

So Washington state huh? What the Fuck! What would possess me to go to this jungle of a green state?

It was now as I looked at the tree near me, I noticed a beautiful red and black dirt bike.

_"Hm", I thought, "Wonder if I know how to drive these?"_

Hell, this was the only way I was getting anywhere, so I might as well start learning, right?

I pulled the bike off of the tree, and rolled it back towards the dirt road.

As I looked down the road, I noticed that the man made path stopped a couple feet up, and where it stopped a real path of dirt was going through the forest.

_"This should be interesting", I laughed out loud._

Ya only live once right?

Well hell, here was my chance to finally live and be reckless.

The animal inside of me was excited, and it was impatient with me to get on.

I didn't even know where to start, so I rolled the bike down to where the path ended and started right back up again.

_"Well this is it", I said to myself._

I got myself up onto the bike, and leaned to one side so I could stable myself.

_"Here we go guys", I said as I revved the engine._

Hmm okay, so I do know how to ride these?

I started in a low gear to make sure, and as I started to creep a little bit down the way, something inside of me wanted to go faster.

_"Calm your fucking horses dude", I said to him._

I shifted one gear up, bracing myself for the different speeds, I didn't want to just go the fastest right away and wind up flying backwards off of it.  
_  
"Faster", he said._

_"Im fucking getting there man", I argued back._

I had, had enough then. I had to go fast, I was more then tired of listening to this repetitive fucking voice.

So I kicked it up another gear, as I was gracefully driving down the path, and then another gear, until finally I was going the fastest I could.

I went back a little at first, and after I realized how fast this could go, and the balance I would need to stay on, I was on my way.

I was enjoying the scenery, the peacefulness I felt being alone with the wind blowing against my face.

I was looking through the forest, seeing all the different objects and things nature had to offer.

It was then I got this strange feeling I was being followed.

I would sware later on I saw an object running through the woods, but how could I be positive, because everything was going past me so fast.

I didn't know where I was headed, and I couldn't remember what direction the map said I was going, but all I knew was that I was on my way.

It wasn't exactly sunny out, but it wasn't dark out. The sun was behind some clouds, it was very cold out, and there was snow still on the grounds of the forest, but for some odd reason the path was dry and clear of any snow.

The cold didn't bother me at all, and I couldn't figure out why?

My body felt cold and warm at the same time, and I wondered if that was even humanly possible?

Wouldn't that cause a normal body to explode, or implode? Isn't that called like a front or something?

I had been riding this bike for quite some time now, and I wondered where I was, and how long had I been out here?

It was then I noticed I was finally coming up on civilization, at first I could see there were some cottages, then people and then a little ways up was traffic.

I was still a good ways back and wondered how I could see so perfectly from where I was? Well I was already a freak of nature so who fucking cares, right? Right.

I was deep in thought and wasn't paying much attention until I heard an engine revving and saw a bike flying out of the forest, and onto the path way next to mine.

He was eyeing me up and it was clear that he wanted to race.

Isn't it normal for me to be competitive?

I revved my engine too, to let him know, it was fucking on.

He nodded to me, and I nodded back.

His bike was similar to mine, and I wondered if this was a popular brand?

We went back and forth , one second he was in the lead, and one second I was.

We were coming up on town and I figured that the finish line would be the end of the forest and beginning of the cottages.

He was beating me, and the demon inside of me didn't like it

I kicked the bike up into the second to last gear, and as my bike flew forward, I looked over at him, and the minute his mouth turned up into a smile, my breath hitched in my throat.

I knew that smile somehow, whether it was his or not. I knew it from somewhere, like an old friend, or a sibling.

There was no way in hell, I was waiting around to find out. I switched into the last gear and as I took off and veered my bike in front of his to allow the dirt to kick up in his face, and leave a cloud of dirt behind me.

I gave one last look behind me, and saw there was no way he could see me from the cloud that was in front of his.

**It was then that I took this time to disappear.**

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This is from an unknown point of view, clearly, I give no hints to if its a boy or girl, human or something else.** All in good time my loveys!**

Comments and reviews are much appreciated, and it shows me that its actually being read. _Hint Hint._

I would like to take this time to thank everyone who continues to read it and give me feedback, it means the world to me, like you wouldn't believe!  
Especially _YankeeDiv_**_a_, And**_ Brianna_**!******

Sorry Yankee, I knew I said this would be up last weekend, I had a death in the family, and I hope this was worth the wait babe! Thank you so much for all the love and support babe! You have no idea how much it means to me!

And thank you so much Brianna for being one of my best friends and for listening to me whine about this story!

Im writing the next chapter now and it _should_**(emphasis on the should) be up either tonight or tomorrow!  
**


	14. King of the rodeo

"I wonder if I've been changed in the night?  
Let me think. Was I the same when I got up this morning?  
I almost think I can remember feeling a little different.  
But if I'm not the same, the next question is 'Who in the world am I?  
Ah, that's the great puzzle!**" -Alice in wonderland.**

* * *

**Chapter Fourteen: King of the Rodeo.  
**

* * *

I guess I should have been watching where I was going.

I guess I should have been more aware of my surroundings.

I guess I should have done a lot of fucking things before this very second, but I didn't, okay chief.

It wasn't until it was too late, that I saw a car pulling out of a dirt driveway at a very fast speed, that I hadn't noticed because it was still hidden behind some of the forest, that I realized

_"**OH SHIT".**_

They noticed me a minute too late and at the same time we swerved our vehicles into the same direction.

I knew if I hit the brake now, that the bike would go spinning into another direction, and would probably survive without any major damages, but me on the other hand.

I was about to be road kill.

So I did the only thing I could think off, I hit the fucking brake. I know your probably thinking, _"Um What the Fuck?"_

'Um what the fuck is right', did you honestly think I was going to let that beautiful bike slam into someone's car?

Oh that conversation would go swell..

.."_Oh im so sorry mam/sir, I didn't see you! Oh Im sorry, you want to see my drivers license and insurance card?, oh well you see the thing about that is"..._

....**and thats the part where I would run for my fucking life.**

Thank God, they had slammed on their brakes, because the car come to a hault, as my body was slidding towards it.

Instead I let my body slam into their front tire, and in that instant I couldn't have cared less about the seering pain.

I was pinned up against a black Mercede's S55 AMG.

I was torn between complete awe of this beautiful car, and then the fear that I did some kind of damage to their car and they'd want to sue me, or some shit.

I was brought back to reality when I felt my head hit the side of their car, and my stomach hit the tire.

It took the driver a bit to get out of the car, and I took this time to look for my baby.

I looked over my shoulder to my left and saw the bike had skidded onto the grass, and was safe. It had suffered a couple scratches, but nothing major.

I took this time to say a little pray._ "Dear sweet baby Jesus, wrapped in swaddling clothes, somewhere in a manger, hail Mary full of grace, thank you for saving my bike, amen._", or something of the sort.

I heard the door of the car being slammed, and two men running over to me.

_"Hey Man!, are you okay?", I heard the one say, or should I say shout.  
_  
What a loud voice, ugh! my head was pounding.

I wanted to laugh, I wanted to cry, but instead I settled with sarcasm.

_"Yeah, Im laying with my body pinned up against the bottom end of your car, but im fine, no biggie, this is a weekly ritual actually, more of a cleansing the soul kind of thing, ya know?Dont worry about me, Im fine!", I snorted._

Thank God, I had put the helmet on before I got on this bike, they could only see my backside, so they'd never see my face if I could help it.

I heard the one chuckle, and the other one say _"Are you sure your okay?"_

"_Your an idiot, of course they're not okay", the other responded._

_"So your not okay then, are you?",_ I heard the idiot ask, the same one who asked if I was sure I was okay.

_"Well no shit sherlock. Im not down here for my fucking health.", I retorted._

_"Would you like our help getting you up?" I heard the loud mouth one ask, but he was the one with some common sense._

_"No, Ill get myself up, is your car okay?", I said as I laid my helmet head on my arm still facing the car._

_"Don't worry about the car, it was as much our fault, as it was yours", they laughed._

_"My fault? Do you usually do 70 pulling out of a driveway? Or was that just for my benefit?", I said coldly_

I knew I only had a certain amount of time before they would grow impatient and want me to move so they could leave.

_"Do you usually do 70 driving into a small town? Or was that just a show for me?", I heard him smirk._

_"No that definitely was just for you jack ass. I couldnt resist smashing into your brand new car. It was just screaming for a scratch or two", I smirked back_.

I know a normal person would have kept their mouth closed, and just been thankful they obviously weren't pressing charges, or asking to switch insurance information but I couldnt find it in me to give a flying fuck.

I heard one of them laugh, while the other one didn't make a sound.

_"Well ladies, if were done gossiping about your boyfriends, Id like to be on my way", I said condescendingl_y, as I started to lift myself up, still facing the car. They were standing at least 15 feet back.

I was now standing all the way up still facing the car, when I started to walk to my left towards my bike. I started to feel dizzy, and before I could go down, I felt one of there hands grab my arm from behind

I was now more then okay to stand own my own, the reaction that happened once his fingers grabbed my arm, even over my coat.

His skin was cold to the touch, and my body reacted to this in a way I didn't understand.

I felt a low growl pulsating from the core of my stomach. _"You can let go of me now", I said in a low, sinister voice_.

Something inside of me said if he didn't take his arm back very soon, I was going to rip it out of its fucking socket.

His hand was off me the second it grabbed my arm, and I heard him whisper to himself, something that sounded like _"arm burning"_.  
_  
"Talk about burning, your like a fucking snow cone, my body just skidded against the cement, whats your fucking excuse?"_, _I shot back._

I touched my left hand to my right, and in that instance felt what he had meant, my one hand was burning, on the side he grabbed my arm, while my right hand was freezing.

Fuck him, he was as cold as a fucking popsicle, who the hell was he to judge my out of control body temperatures?

I stalked off towards my bike, and picked it up off the ground, after I wiped it off I stood it straight up. I heard their car starting, and turned to get on mybike.

They weren't looking at me, and the front windshield was tinted. I didn't think looking would do me any good.

I jumped up on my bike and started its engine, I was wheeling it back towards the road, when I felt eyes on my back.

I turned around just as I started to speed off, and caught a glimpse of two pairs of golden eyes boaring into me. How could I see into their tinted windows?

_"Siyanora Suckers", I yelled back.  
_  
I was going too fast to think, but then it dawned on me, why the fuck were they looking at me like that?

There was something very strange about their glares, and I couldn't put my finger on what that look meant.

I had to stay out of my thoughts and concentrate on my driving, I didn't need to run into any more pricks.

Did you ever get a feeling you can't shake off, like your being followed?

Maybe I was just being a paranoid fuck, but the voice in my head said _"They're behind you!". _It wasn't a paranoid _"they're behind you", _it was more like do something about it_ "They're behind you"._

I started to zig zag in between peoples houses, and back yards, Im sure if someone saw me they'd be furious. I found a dirt path in the forest right behind the house's, and started to speed down it.

I caught a glimpse out of the corner of my eye, and I sware to God I saw that black car speeding down the street in front of the house's.

I started to speed even more, as houses and tree's, on both side's of me mushed into swirls of colors. I had been speeding down this path for about 15 minutes, when I saw a clearing up ahead.

I shot out of the forest and onto a road, just then I heard screeching, and looked behind me to see that stupid black fucking car. Were they really trying to fucking kill me from the start?

_"Jesus Christ! They **really** are pissed about their fucking car aren't they?", I growled out loud._

I kicked my bike into the highest gear, as someone else shot out of the forest.  
_  
"What the fuck is this? A James Bond movie?", I screamed._  
_  
"Follow me!", I heard the person in front of me yell._

I slowed my bike down for a second, and he turned to look at me.

_"Are you trying to commit suicide?", he yelled at me._

He was way to angry to be a third party observer.

It was either follow him, or find out what the fuck was wrong with **_Thelma and Louise_** behind me.  
_  
"Don't fuck with me kid, Ill tare you the fuck apart, ya got me?", I warned.  
_  
The voice inside my head told me that he could be a challenge if we were to fight, and that only fed fuel to the fire.

If he was planning something I was ready to fucking attack.

I didn't even wait for his response, I flew forward on my bike right past a sign that told us where we were, but I didn't even bother too look at it.

He was flying up next to me, across the invisible finish line.

He stopped a couple feet up from the sign, and turned back around to look, I slowed down and turned on my bike to see what was going.

The car had come to a screeching hault and was now in the idle position.

There was a cloud of dust covering the car, but I saw a figure standing by it.

_"You know the rules kid!", I heard the loud mouth yell._  
_  
"Ya well you know the rules too moron, would ya like me to grab __**him** so __**he **can remind you?", he spat back._

I heard the loudmouth huff and stalk off to his car, and before I knew it, the car was no where insight.

Who the fuck was _he_? What would _he_ remind them? What would grabbing _him_ prove? And who was _he_ to enforce such rules? What were these fucking rules anyway?  
_  
"So how did the bike run for you?", he asked innocently._

_"Um, good I guess? Why the fuck do you care?", I asked back._

_"I thought it would come in handy for you", he said._

_"What do you mean come in handy for me?", I spat back._

I could tell he was hiding something, and he didnt know if he should tell me.

_"Im loosing my patience at a rapid pace", I stated._

He didnt say anything for a couple minutes, and I was growing more irritated by the second.

_"I dont know the fucking games you and your fucking friends are playing with me right now, but Im growing rather tired of it", I announced._

_"Look I know you dont know who I am, and I know you don't trust me, and hell If I was in your position I'd be worse, but you just have to have faith in me right now", he said this as if we were old buddy's, and as if he was trying to believe it too._

I looked him up and down for a second, sizing him and I up to each other. He may be a bit of a challeng_e,_ but the dude inside of me laughed at myself. I love a bit of a challenge._  
_  
What fun what it be if I just lunged for his throat and ended it right away? I like competition, isn't that a part of my gene's? Aren't _our kind _all made up like that?

_"I dont even know your fucking name! for pete sakes", I said dryly._

Just as he was about to say his name, we heard a loud bang.

I looked around to see where it was coming from but in that instance he grabbed my arm, and threw me on his back and ran, **as we disappeared into the woods.**

* * *

**This is the second half of the unknown POV. You might think you know who some of them are, maybe you do maybe you dont. Maybe I've added some faces in there, or worded things a certain way to trick you! The world may never know, er, I mean, very soon my precious!  
**

**I might continue with the unknown POV, or I might change it next chapter, but Ill let you know then! Reviews are love!**


	15. Changes

**"Everything in life is connected somehow.  
You may have to dig deep to find it but its there.  
Everything is the same even though its different.  
Somehow everything connects back with your life.  
The faces in certain places may be different, but the situation is the same.  
Irony is a hidden factor that creeps around us in life, letting its presence felt only after it has left.  
Picture back to a year ago and the situation you were in.  
Look at how things are different yet somehow everything is still in someway cognate.  
Everything connects together to form the balance of life, to maintain structure.  
Change is and always will be inevitable, but everything is relative.  
All the moments and times in your life will come back around again.  
You just might find yourself on the other side of the coin.  
Things are always changing, as fast as everything stays the same."-Unknown Author**

* * *

_"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy;  
for what we leave behind us, is a part of ourselve's;  
we must die to one life before we can enter another."-Anatole France_

* * *

**Chapter Fifteen: I'm moving through some changes I'll never be the same Something you did touched me There's no one else to blame.**

* * *

**2nd(from the person who shot out of the forest) Unknown Pov:**

What was I going to tell this person?

_Well there's this on going war between our kind, and your kind of in the middle?_  
_  
OH you want to know what war? And what do I mean our kind? Well you see the thing about that is..._

And that's exactly where I draw a blank **every time.**  
_  
Well see I m kind of here to teach you a few things, on how to fight, and about our history._

_Oh and also, your kind of stuck on both sides, so that's why no one wants you here._

_And also, I hid you in the woods, close enough from here, but still far away, so I could keep tabs on you, but you'd still be safe.  
_  
Why didn't I think for one minute something would draw you right back here?

Stupid me was thinking, Leave the dirt bike there for you, and hopefully you'll drive some where far away, where no one could find you, not even me, but at least I would know you were away from here.

_You want to know what I mean by no one wants you here?_

_Well you see, er, um, that's not exactly the whole truth, but some of it._  
_  
Oh and by the way I also kind of saved your life more then once, but don't worry, no need to thank me._

_----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

_"Hello? Earth to the fucking Retard?", a voice brought me back from my thoughts._

_"Oh, hi", I said back._

_"Where the hell are we, and what the fuck is going on?", the voice growled back at me._

_"Calm down, I'm trying to think", I said back._

_"CALM DOWN!? YOU WANT ME TO FUCKING CALM DOWN!?", the voice boomed back at me_

_"Yes please stay calm", I cautioned_

_"CALM, YOU WANT ME? TO STAY? FUCKING CALM!?",they yelled again_

_"Please!", I begged._

_"I WOKE UP TODAY IN A FUCKING PLACE I DID NOT KNOW! A HOUSE, THAT I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHO IT BELONGS TOO!  
THEN I GET FOLLOWED ON A DIRT BIKE, THAT VAGUELY REMINDS ME OF YOURS!  
THEN I ALMOST CRUSHED TO FUCKING DEATH BY SOME JACK ASS, WHO THEN DECIDES SINCE HE DIDN'T KILL ME THE FIRST TIME, HES COMING BACK TO DO IT AGAIN!  
AND THEN YOU JUMP OUT OF THE FUCKING FOREST AND TELL ME TO FOLLOW YOU! __AND THEN TALK ABOUT SOME FUCKING RULES WITH THAT PSYCHO IN THE BLACK MERCEDES?  
WHAT THE FUCK ARE THESE RULES YOUR TALKING ABOUT! AND WHY THE FUCK DID WE RUN AFTER WE HEARD THAT LOUD BANG!  
AND WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING NAME! BUT YOU WANT ME TO STAY FUCKING CALM!?", they roared at me.  
_  
But before I could think of something to say, it started to happen.

_"Oh no! Oh God NO! Please not now!", I screamed_

_"You have to calm yourself down", I said loudly but trying to sound calm myself_

I watched as they fell to the ground, and started shaking.

I knew that they wouldn't have the same exact re action that one of our kind would, but something entirely different, and scary.

At least with our kind, no one would get hurt, we did this regularly, fight each other to practice and just to vent, but no, not this time.

If they could get a hold of my throat Id be a goner, and so would they, after the others got to them.

I looked down as I watched their eyes roll into the back of their head, and now what replaced them was just the pure white of their eyes, which didnt frighten me as much as the blood shot veins that looked like they were going to explode.

I dropped onto my knee's and tried to sooth this person, I tried to hum in their ear, I tried to rub their arms.

Which if they were awake, they'd probably kill me for, but I didn't know what else to do.

Before I knew what was happening I was thrown against a tree. I heard a loud crack, and watched in horror as the tree split in too, and I dropped to the ground on top of it.

I looked up to see this person, slowly floating towards me, and what now replaced the whites of their eyes had me whimpering away.

Their iris's were pure black, not a red black, but black as coal, black, and around that was a very haunting color of red, taking place of the pure white.  
_  
"So, they don't want me, ay?", they said in such a sinister voice that my heart broke all over again._

_"No", I barely whispered, "they do"._

They had me by the throat this time, and our nose's were maybe an inch apart.  
_  
"Please", I whispered, "don't do this"._

I knew if this was anybody else, they would be on the ground, while their blood spilled out from their body, but It wasn't just anybody else, and I wasn't here to cause harm, I was here trying to protect, to teach.

They had strength, Ill agree, plus a couple of other things, but that's no match for some one who has had many years of practice like I have, I could have broke their arm in two if I wanted too.

Their hold on my throat tightened, and I took this time to take my last big breathe of air, I would need it.  
_  
"You don't want to do this", I gulped trying to push it out before I collapsed from the lack of oxygen._

_"And why not?", they mused._  
_  
"Bb-becc-cause withh-h-out me-ee you-d b-ee-e d-ee-a-dd", I barely got out, as I prepared to go into a coma like sleep._

They dropped me to the ground then, as I gasped for air.  
_  
"You really are no fun", they shot back._

When I didn't say anything back, they took it as the time to explain what they had meant.  
_  
"Well see I had pictured you being a fighter, being a challenge, and well when you just layed their and took the beating, I grew rather tired and bored", they laughed._

This was going to be harder then I thought, they were long gone, and replaced by this monster.

I knew I only had so much time, before they were lost forever.  
_  
"Because Im not here to hurt you", I said softly._

_"As if you could", they shot back._

Well it looks like someone has had a boost of confidence, sheesh.

_"Whether I could, or couldn't, is not the point. Im not trying to argue with you, im just trying to protect you", I answered slowly._

_"No it most definitely is the fucking point, and it doesn't matter what your here for, because your not going to be alive much longer to proceed with it. Protect me? You can't even protect your fucking self! That has got to be a joke", they growled back._

I was starting to get angry, this wasn't the person I loved, and I dont know if they were ever coming back.

_"If you dont want my help then, fine, but when someone is using you as their first course in their meal tonight, don't say I didn't warn you", I shot back._

I started to walk away, but I felt them coming up behind me, and before they knew what was happening, I grabbed the arm that was reaching out for me, and pulled them over me and slammed them into the ground.

_"My patience is also wearing thin child", I shot back, as they looked up at me shocked._

They were on their feet in no time, and from the looks of it, they thought I was playing with them.

_"Well, well, he does fight back", they mused._

_  
"That's not what im here for, and if thats what you want, then I suggest you go find the idiots who tried to run you over today, im sure they would love to play your childish games, since you are one of them anyway", I said coldly._

By this time time they had jumped infront of me, and slammed me up against another tree, this time not breaking it.

_"What did you just say?", the voice sounded shaky._  
_  
"I said if you want to play your childish games, go find your friends", I spat out._

_"Friends? My friends? How can they be my friends! I don't even know who the fuck I am!", they started to sob._

They released their grip on me, as they sank to the ground, making a loud noise that sounded like an earthquake.

This broke my heart, hearing them cry._  
_

I inched closer, as my hand rested on their knee closest to me.

_"Please dont cry, I want to help you, you just have to let me help you", I said soothingly as I made small circles on their knee._

They started to cry even louder, and now more than ever is when I felt so helpless._  
_  
How could I ease their pain, when I couldn't even ease my own? How could I promise everything will be okay, when I was scared even for my own future, for every one's future?

They moved so fast, I barely had time to pull my hand back before it fell to the ground.  
_  
"Who ever the fuck you all are, leave me alone! I don't want to deal with any of this shit!", they screamed._

_"I know it's a lot to take in and some of it I don't really understand either, but I promise you, I just want to help you", I said sadly._

_"A lot to take in? You want to help me? Then why don't you and everyone else leave me the fuck alone!", they sobbed_

I didn't even have time to defend myself, or scream their name for them to come back, before I could even blink my eye, they were gone._  
_

* * *

**  
Back to the first Unknown Pov:  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

So this is the kind of games that everyone wanted to play?

Lets see how bad we can fuck with a stranger.

Well, well my dear '**_friends'_**, I do not have time for such stupidity.

The minute I started to sob, the voice inside my head, had roared loudly.  
_  
"Get up off the ground, and stop being such a fucking baby", it said.  
_  
Stop being a fucking baby? What! I was just almost fucking killed today, more than once and I'm being a baby because I feel completely lost, and confused?

Well slap my ass and call me sally, the nerve of some fucking people, ill tell ya.

I started to cry even more, because I was so angry with myself.

To show any emotion beside's the complete hatred I felt towards any one, was unnerving.

I think the only real reason I cried was because of what happened once I lost my cool.

I couldn't see out of my eyes, all I could see was red, I felt my body shake, as I felt this strange feeling pulsing through my body.

In that instance I couldn't think straight, or see, or feel anything.

The monster inside had full control of my body, and he enjoyed my re action very much so.

I felt something inside of my body telling the monster to get out, that he didn't belong here, but he didn't listen, as he compelled me to lung forward, at my target.

I didn't know what was happening and after I started to cry, and he put his hand on my knee, I lost it.

The monster didn't want fucking comforting and neither did i.

The guy sitting across from me had his head down, and I could tell he felt uncomfortable with the contact his hand was making with my knee too.

I took his moment of thought, and took it as my cue too fucking peace.

I turned around only once as I ran through the woods, and saw his mouth open as if he was going to call me back.

A part of me wanted to yell back that I was sorry, but there was such a huge part of me that was not sorry, and was too hateful to feel bad.

I started running in the opposite direction, hopefully back towards the cabin, at least from there I could use the map, and get as far away from Washington as I could.

There are a couple of things Ive come to realize, in this world.

**Number one being)**. Nice people always finish last from the looks of it, hence that guy being left back there in the forest by himself. **Number two)**. Anger is one emotion that people most definitely keep inside way too much, so much better to let it out, right?. **And Number three)**. When being deep in thought, one should not operate machinery, drive, or run.

I skidded to a stop, on the heels of my shoes.

There were a herd of deer about three feet up from me, and oddly enough they hadn't heard me.

They were all huddled around something, and I couldn't really see through them, but I smelled it before I saw anything.

There was a deer who's next was broken, and a bit of blood was left on the ground, but what ever killed it didn't get to finish the job.

I couldn't remember the last time I had eaten, and my stomach started to growl, as I licked my lips.

My mouth was watering as I stared this deer down, I wanted to taste's it meat.

I had no wallet on me, or money, or anything of the sort, so I couldn't buy food, but for some reason that excuse meant nothing to me, because even if I had, I still wanted to taste this deer.

I slowly crept forward, and the deer still had no idea I was behind them.  
_  
"What a pity", the monster inside of me laughed_

I inched closer until I was behind them, and as I reached my hand out, they all scattered to different paths of the forest.

_"Well that was a bit too fucking easy", I laughed back._

I looked down at my victim, and smiled _"Ah yes, there's still a lot of blood left in him", I said to myself._

Wait, what? Blood? Something inside of me snapped, I couldn't help myself.

I lifted the body up towards my face, as I started to dig into his meat with my teeth, it was then that I tasted the blood, and I hungered for it.

I ate some more of the meat off of his body, until I found some veins still full of life.

In that instant I lost my grip on reality, and as i bit my teeth into the vein in his neck I started to drink greedily.

I should have been more aware of my surroundings, I should have been paying more attention, but this new hunger that took over me was deafening.

I was too involved in the thirst in my throat that was being quenched.

I pulled the deer closer, and closer to my face, until my head was just about inside of his neck.

I dont know why but I had to be closer to this animal, as I so ungenerously took the last bit of life from him away.

I didn't hear the voice inside my head trying to warn me, until it was too late.

Something had come flying at me full force, and had thrown me flying backwards into the air.

My muscles tensed, my fists clenched, as I felt my mouth open to show off my teeth.

I steadied myself before I could crash, but the culprit was no where to be found.

I felt my sense's heighten, as I was extremely aware of my surroundings.

I could hear the wind whistle, and the deer that were no where near me, scampering away.  
I could hear the little birds feet up in the tree, as she scootched closer to watch her eggs.  
I could hear the leafs rustling in the wind, and the dead silence of the forest, besides the animals.

I could also hear the sound of something being eaten, and as I now looked towards the deer who had been my first meal all day, I saw that some one else was bent over him.

I wish I could say I was repulsed by seeing this, but instead I felt jealous.

How dare he take my fucking food away from me, with not even as much as a _"do you mind if I join you?_" , Or _"Excuse me, dont mind if i do."_

I wouldn't even care if he said _"Get the fuck outta my way, Im eating here."_ I would have taken that gladly, now I was just fucking livid.

Before he had a chance to know what hit him, I had him pinned up against the tree, his back to me, his face smushed up against the tree.  
_  
"Im sorry, if I'm being rude, see I don't like when people fucking touch my food, or me for that instance", I growled._

_"If I was you I wouldn't be doing this right now", he laughed._  
_  
"Haha, oh Im sorry, did you say you can still breathe, well let me fucking help you with that", I snarled._

I took my one hand and smashed his face back into the tree, so he could only eat the bark of the tree, if he tried to breath.

With my other one I held both his hands behind his back, while my knee pushed his body further into the tree.

_"Oh, nothing to say now? What a shame?", I said sarcastically_  
_  
"Let go of me, and fight like a man", he breathed out._  
_  
"Oww, a bit of competition is it? I think I might just enjoy this. But do promise you will be a bit of a challenge, the last guy was a bore", I mused back._

I went to loosen my grip on him and before I could think, or he even turned around he had dug his nails into my arm as he threw me up into the air and against a rock.

As soon as my head hit the rock face first, I let out a loud laugh I had been holding in.

_"Fight like a man? Haha what are you going to do? Claw me to death", I couldnt help but laugh._

I think this only made him more mad, and before I could jump up he gripped me by my short hair , and was now smashing my face into a tree.  
_  
"Mmm, pay back, I rather like that", I chuckled _when he lifted my head back before hitting it against the tree again.

_"Not much of a talker, ay?"_ I laughed even louder before my face went back into the tree for the third time.

He finally broke through my hard layer of skin, and I started to feel the blood trickle a little down my face.

I heard him gasp from behind me.

_"How, what, when, where, why? I dont get it. What the hell is going on here", he said as he let go of me and threw himself back._

_"What's wrong? Afraid of a little blood?", I laughed as I put my finger to my cut and then licked it._

I turned around quickly to grab him by his throat, _"Now now kitty, kitty, lets fight fair", I said coldly._  
_  
"Its time for you to bleed too, even up the score a little , shall we?" I said as I opened my eyes to look at him._

Only his eyes were closed shut, and he wasn't breathing.

I let go of his throat than as his hard body dropped to the ground. "_You have got to be fucking kidding me, there is no way that, me choking you fucking killed you!", I said disappointedly._

The blood on my head had dried, and the cut wasn't bleeding anymore.

I was just about to turn on my heel and leave, when I felt him get up, and before he could even process it, I had him up against the tree, clawing my hand over his face.

_"He's alive!", I mused in the voice of Victor Frankenstein, when he realizes his precious is alive._  
_  
"I don't get it", I heard him muffle through my fingers._

_"What's there to fucking get Einstein?", I asked curiously._  
_  
"How are you bleeding, if your drinking blood?", he asked sounding shocked.  
_  
_"What? You don't bleed?", I asked questioning his sanity._

_"And what does me drinking blood have to do with me fucking bleeding?", I said more with a sarcastic tone._

I decided I should let go of his face, if he was going to attack me I would welcome it, but that's not why I wanted to let go of him, I decided to do it because I wanted to remember this lunatics face.

It makes for a better target, if I know what he looks like the next time he goes to attack, Id be prepared.

I let go of his face in one swift motion, and I think this left him a little dazed.

I moved backwards away from him a little so he could have his space to breath, when he finally decides to open his eyes.

I was still waiting for him to pick his head up, while I scanned the rest of him.

He wasn't huge, but he most definitely wasn't skinny. He was tall and lanky, but I could see muscles protruding from underneath his shirt. He would be a fair fight, if he fought instead of clawed, like a girl.

His clothes were dirty, as was the rest of him. He looked like he hadn't showered in weeks.

I was starting to wonder if I really had killed him, but slowly he lifted his head, as his eyes reached mine.

I turned my head in that instance, because I heard a faint noise behind me.

_"Where are you?!"_, I heard a female voice call out frantically.  
_  
"Stay where you are",_ I heard the guy in front of me call.

_"Oh please"_, I said still looking behind me for the face that went with the girl's voice, _"Im not going to hurt your little girlfriend", I laughed._  
_  
"Whats wrong Edward?!"_, I heard hear voice clearer from behind me on a different side.

"Alice stay where you are!", he said through a growl.

I turned back to look at him, to show him I was serious, his girlfriend didn't need to be involved I wasn't going to hurt her.  
_  
"Edward? Edward is it? I'm not going to fucking hurt your girlfriend, calm your fucking boner", _I said as his eyes finally met mine for good.

His jaw was dropped, and I stared at him wondering what the fuck was his problem.

_"Ya, well you don't look any fucking better chief"_, I said looking myself over.

_"I-t-tt C-c-an-t bb-e-ee pp-oss-ib-bl-e", I heard him stammer._

_"Um okay? Yes it actually can be. I can go get you a fucking mirror if you like, ya asshole", I spat back._

He didn't have to fucking insult me when here I was trying to prove to him that I wouldnt rip his little girlfriends head off, even though I knew with one snap I could.

I heard her finally come up behind me, and for a second it caught me off guard. She was very quiet, and a little to fast for my taste.

_"Edward what is going on here! I had a vision but all I could see was you fighting something invisible", she said still staring towards him, and not bothering to look at me yet._  
_  
"Close your fucking mouth kid, your going to let the flies in", I spat back._

He was still looking like he couldnt pick his jaw off of the ground.

_"Whatever, what a challenge you turned out to be. You should have told me by challenge that you meant you were mentally challenged", I said casting one icy stare his way, and turning on my heel to walk away with a bit of a smug attitude._

I wasn't going to run, no not this time, if he wanted to finish what he started I would have been more then happy to tare him to shreds in front of his girl.

I caught a glimpse of his barbie girlfriend staring at me the same way he did, like I had four fucking heads or something and it took all I had in me to not rip her stupid little fucking head off.  
_  
"Ya fucking freaks", I yelled over my shoulder._

All I heard her mutter was _"It can't be",_ and it took all I had in me to not turn around and ask what fuck they were talking about.

My stomach growled just then, and that was more then enough answer for me.

**As I disappeared somewhere into the forest, I was now searching for something else to eat, since that prick ruined my fucking meal.**

* * *

**The first point of view in this chapter is from the guy who told them to follow him.  
The second is from the same person's pov from the last two chapters!**

**I hope that doesn't confuse you too much! All will make sense soon!**

Reviews are love:)


	16. In the forest there is a monster

** " _What other dungeon is so dark as one's own heart? What jailer is so inexorable as one's own self?_ "  
-Nathaniel Hawthorne (1804-1864)**

* * *

_In the forest, is a monster It has done terrible things So in the wood, it's hiding And this is the song it sings  
Who will love me now? Who will ever love me? Who will say to me  
"You are my desire, I set you free?"  
Who will forgive and make me live again? Who will bring me back to the world again?  
In the forest, is a monster And it looks so very much like me Will someone hear me singing?  
Please save me, please rescue me-** Pj Harvey (Who Will Love Me Now)**_

* * *

**Chapter Sixteen: In the forest is a Monster, and it looks so very much like me.**

* * *

**First unknown Pov.**

In all reality, this little town was making me extremely claustrophobic.

I couldn't take all the lovey dovey bull shit that was happening all around me.

The town was decked out for the holidays, and everyone was bundled up, hanging on each other.

It was enough to make me fucking vomit.

Everywhere I looked I was surrounded by lights, and garland, and tree's, and that fucking obnoxious Christmas music.

Wives cuddled up to their husbands, kids hanging on their parents, people holding hands, exchanging "I love you" glances.

It took everything in me to not just hang myself by the fucking garland hanging above the windowsill of the store to my left.

I was on the verge of committing a massacre if I didnt get away from this shit soon.

I shoved my hands into my pockets, and kept my head down as I walked further down the street.

Where was I going, and what was I going to do once I got there?

I didn't have a life, I didn't have a job or money, I didn't have an I.d, I didn't have any where to stay or eat, I didn't even know who I was, I didn't have anyone.

I was utterly alone in this shit hole of a world.

I stopped in front of a little restaurant and caught a glimpse of myself in the reflection.

Oh my fucking God.

I looked like death.

My short hair was a disarray on top of my head. My eyes were cold, and empty looking.

My skin was pale and chalky looking, but underneath my eyes were an ungodly purple color.

No wonder I was alone, besides the fact that I did it to myself, who would socialize with such a freak of nature?

I saw two pairs of eyes staring back at me, and realized the people sitting closet to the window probably thought I was staring at them.

They had been deep into a conversation holding hands, and gazing into each others eyes.

They were so in love and it was sickening.

I don't know why but i started to feel queasy as their eyes peered back into my soul.

They had to be the most beautiful people on the planet.

The woman had carmel colored hair, and a heart shaped face.

He had blond hair, and an angular face.

They were staring at me in shock, and I wanted to knock them the fuck out.

I felt like screaming, my fucking bad.

I started to walk again, as the door opened, and the man from inside stood at the door staring at me.

"Look dude, I wasn't staring at you and your wife, or what ever, sorry if I fucking ruined what ever it is you were fucking gabbing about", I said as I walked past him.

He looked baffled as I walked on by, and I wanted to go back there and pick his jaw up off the ground for him, and push it into his fucking throat.

I shoved my hands back into my pocket as I headed towards a park bench.

Ah at last some peace and fucking quiet.

I walked towards the bench furthest into the park, and sat down.

The park was actually really pretty.

It had a walk way, and on either side was a black fence.

The park had many tree's and lights, and had flowers every where.

I sat in the darkest spot I could find.

It wasn't like a kids park with a bunch of crap for them to fucking graffiti all over, more of a city park, where you can have picnic's or lay around and paint.

I saw a swing set across from where I was sitting, and noticed a dad pushing his little girl on it.

She was giggling, and he was smiling like a fool.

Through fits of laughter she kept saying "Higher daddy higher".

I felt my heart break a little at this, I felt jealous, I felt hurt, I felt mad for feeling anything so fucking ridiculous to these strangers.

"Cute isn't it?", I heard a voice ask from beside me.

I turned to look next to me, and was baffled by the fact that I hadn't noticed someone sit down next to me.

"What is?", I asked sounding annoyed.

"Them, on the swings, her so innocent, him so full of love for her, its very sweet", she said.

"Sure", I replied sharply.

"Im Lillian", she said as she extended her hand out for me to shake.

"Right", I replied, not bothering to look at her, or shake her hand.

She let her hand drop to her side.

"So what are you doing out here in the freezing cold?", she asked sweetly.

"Minding my own fucking business, wish I could say the same for everyone else", I said coldly, as I stared her right in the eyes.

I sware to God, the bitch didn't get the fucking hint.

"Do you come out here a lot by yourself?", she asked with a bit of a smug attitude.

I ignored her question and continued to stare at the fucking nothingness across the park.

"It's so beautiful out here", she said cooly.

I continued to ignore her annoying voice.

"You know it wont kill you to answer me back", she said with a bit of anger

"Lillian is it?", I asked innocently.

"Yes", she smiled sweetly.

"Lillian, Lillian, Lillian, listen up sweets, if I wanted to socialize with a fucking air head, Id go talk to the fucking tree's, im sure they'd have something more intelligent to talk about, get it?", I said without any hint of emotion

"So you do come out here a lot by yourself", she said with a smile.

My jaw dropped, was this bitch really still fucking talking?

I turned my head slowly to stare at her, and she was just smiling this stupid fucking smile.

"Are you really that fucking blond? Do you really not understand that I don't give a flying fuck about a damn thing your talking about, or might want to talk about", I said staring daggers into her eye sockets.

"You know, I use to be a bitch just like you, but it didn't get me anywhere, and in fact it made everyone not want to be around me", she said staring at the ground.

I pretended to wipe away a fake tear.

"How tragic", I mused.

"I thought people use to love me for who I was, I was rich, I was beautiful, I had everything I could ever want to have, then I found out I could never have kids", she said sadly.

Oh my God was this bitch really using me as her fucking shoulder to cry on.

"I had my life taken away from me, I didn't have a choice on the matter, the person who was suppose to love me the most used and abused me, beat and cheated on me. All I wanted was a family, to be the perfect wife, but that will never be for me", she said.

"Your young, you'll get another chance", I said coldly.

Bitch is acting like she's 300 years old.

She couldn't be over 22.

"I hated a girl once, for no reason. I hated her because she could have everything I couldn't, because she could march right into my life, and tear everything I had tried to build back up, and she could take it all away. She wasn't pretty like me, she wasn't rich, she wasn't anything special, and she dressed like a hobo. She had my family eating out of the palm of her hands. She lied to my family, she lied bad too, and at the time I couldn't have been more happy, because she wouldn't be accepted anymore. That wasn't the case though, and it just tore my family apart more. I hated her so much because I saw so much of myself in her, I saw her life flash before my eyes, and I wanted her to get out before she could turn into me. I wanted her to have a future, because she deserved it. Kinda of sick isn't it?", she said with a sad smile.

Something inside me felt relief and angry at her words, at her story.

I wanted to fucking back hand her, and hug her at the same time.

So instead I settled with emotionless.

"You sound like a real materialistic bitch", I said as I got up, and started to walk away.

"You know, Im really sorry", she said calling after me.

"For what?", I asked?

I don't give a shit about her story, or for her being a moron, she didn't need to apologize for it.

"For everything, for every little thing", she said and I sware I heard her start sobbing as she ran away.

I don't know what the fuck was wrong with me but I felt myself turning around and chasing after her.

I wanted to console her and make her feel better, for whatever it was, that made her feel so bad.

I couldn't find her anywhere I looked, and I was starting to feel desperate, and pathetic.

What the fuck would I say when I found her?

"Here let me hold you".

Yeah fucking right.

I circled the park in a flash and I couldn't find her anywhere.

I decided to go sit back on the bench and let my mind wander for a bit.

I found myself still staring at the dad and child.

I felt something inside my heart tare, and found myself crying shameful cries, as I stared at them.

I was thankful they couldn't hear me, and decided to get up and away from them before the people walking by, saw me crying like a fucking fool.

I started walking to the other end of the park, where the houses started back up.

Most of the house's were light up, and I could see family's in the big window's decorating their Christmas tree's, and cuddling on the couch watching Christmas movies together.

I saw a dad picking up his son so he could put the star on the tree. I saw another dad bringing a tray of hot chocolate out for his wife and kids.

I saw a wife grabbing a big blanket for everyone to share on the couch as they all cuddled and watched "The Muppets Christmas Carol".

I saw a couple houses that looked empty, and then a few houses with people by themselve's.

It made me feel so bad for them, and in that second I wished I could go in and sit down and talk with them.

I started to cry again as I thought of how alone I would be at Christmas, of how alone I would be every day.

Where would I sleep tonight? Was someone out there looking for me, and worrying about me? Was any one missing me?

I was staring into an older man's house, and his back was facing the window as his sat in his chair.

He had a picture frame in his hand, and was petting the figures in the picture.

It wasnt until I leaned closer that I could hear him crying.

It was his wedding picture, and the smile's in the picture were not hard to miss.

They lite up the whole photograph.

This man would spend Christmas alone, and from what it looked like, he didn't even bother to decorate anymore.

I felt the tears welled up again, and I couldn't take the emotions boiling inside of me.

I was still staring at the old man, as I started to run.

I ran right into someone, right into their open arms.

I don't know why but in the moment I felt their arms close around me, I cried louder.

I hugged them tighter, and tighter. I cried and cried, until it became a full out sob.

I heard the person "shh" me, as they rubbed my back.

It had to be an hour or two, that this went on.

I finally snapped back to reality, I was letting a stranger fucking hold me, and they were willingly doing it.

"Im very sorry", I said as I started to back up.

I felt myself start to cry again, I was crying because I was apologizing for being weak.

They stepped closer to me again, but I backed up again.

"Please", he said.

I started to cry again, out loud.

"Please let me hold you", he said sadly.

"No, I don't even know you! I c-can't, you can-n't. You don't even know me", I cried louder.

He stepped closer again trying to close the distance between us.

He reached his hand out again.  
**  
"Please come back to me Bella", he barely whispered.**


	17. Im half alive but I feel mostly dead

**

* * *

**

** "Silence builds an awful wreckage of a girl It feeds on loneliness and creates a void  
Gray shadows haunt and torment and torture A teenager is stricken and destroyed  
There is no sound of laughter or happiness here The little one has thrown in the towel today  
Somber, melancholy moods decay the soul It is futile to hope and dream and pray  
Emptiness builds a home in this woman In this girl, this child where hollows have bred  
A deepening sea of nowhereness consumes And eats away at every connecting thread  
Confusion feeds like a savage inside her, Leaving nothing considered worthy remains  
Destined to walk through life less ordinary Alone, exiled, different and disdained." -Bek  


* * *

**

_ Consoled a cup of coffee but it didn't wanna talk So I picked up a paper, it was more bad news  
More hearts being broken or people being used __I pick a book up. Turn the sheets down.  
Take a deep breath and a good look around Put on my pjs and hop into bed_**__****  
**_ ** I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead**  
I try and tell myself it'll be all right I just shouldn't think anymore tonight_

* * *

**Chapter Seventeen: Im half alive, but I feel mostly dead.**

* * *

**Edwards Pov:**

Time passes slowly when your damned to immortality.

Ever since everyone had, had an encounter with Bella the house has been a mess of emotions.

I could only imagine how Jasper must feel.

I know how bad it's been for me, hearing everyone thoughts all day long.

Carlisle and Esme didn't believe it was really her, they thought we were all delusional, it **had been** a year since everyone had seen her.

Then Esme had come home hysterical, crying about something that no one could understand.

Carlisle walked in a couple minutes after her, he had this lifeless look on his face.

It was then that I listened in to his thoughts.

All I caught of the scattered thoughts was _"Bella, restaurant, hateful, animalistic."  
_  
Those are the words he used to describe my Bella, my love.

Alice ran to Esme and wrapped her tiny arms around her, as they fell onto the couch crying tearless sobs.

I knew what Carlisle was going to say before he said it.

Not only could I read his thoughts, I could also see everyone thoughts.

As they were thinking them, I could see them.

I saw Carlisle holding Esme's hands as they looked lovingly into each others eyes.

Carlisle took Esme out to dinner so that they could get a break from the hectic household.

He had taken her tiny hands into his and thanked her for staying with him through all the bad times.

Carlisle loved Esme to the point of no return, and Esme loved him the same.

I saw Carlisle and Esme tense up at the same time, as they slowly turned their heads to the figure standing right next to them on the other side of the glass window.

I couldn't believe it was Bella, it didn't look like her, and it didnt necessarily smell like her either.

Her hair was short, and a mess on top of her head.

Her big beautiful brown eyes, were a lifeless dull color, and the purple bags under her eyes were enough to convince anyone that she was a zombie.

Bella had looked back at them with a shocked expression, obviously un aware that she was staring at them.

I wonder what she had been looking at. Carlisle had slowly gotten up from his chair, without thinking as he made his way to the door in two quick strides.

He stared at Bella as if she was some freak of nature, which only resulted in Bella telling him off.

I saw him stand at the door for 15 minutes as he just stared at nothing.

Carlisle was always the optimistic person in every one's life, he was always there to keep everyone grounded, but as I listened in on his thoughts, I could see that this was not the case in this situation.

Carlisle had taken a liking to Bella almost immediately, he felt very paternal towards her and wanted nothing more then her to become a part of our family.

He was overly protective of her since day one, and if he had his way he would have followed her every second.

Bella was like the child that Esme miscarried, Esme felt an immediate bond, and the need to make her feel beautiful, to let her know she was loved very much.

Esme's thoughts made my heart leap into my throat.

I couldn't bear to watch her heart break all over again.

None of us took to kindly to loosing, and in Esme's mind Bella was lost to all of us forever.

I let out a loud growl as I turned on my hell and walked towards Carlisle's study.

I knew he was hiding out in there, he couldn't bare to tell anyone, he didn't have a clue on what to do.

I swung the door open, and stormed over to him in his chair and spun him around.

He went to speak but I cut him off swiftly.

_.."I heard everything you were thinking Carlisle, I saw the whole thing", I said in a whispe_r.

He just stared at me, the pain was inevitable in his eyes.

He had been crying, no tears would ever come, and in this moment I wished so badly for my father to feel some kind of relief.

_"I don't know what to do son", he choked out._

I bent down next to him, as I put my hand on his shoulder to let him know, I wanted to share some of his pain.

His body started to shake, as he bent his head down in embarrassment.

Carlisle was never one to show any one his weak side, he was our rock.

I felt completely helpless as I sat here in shock.

None of this was Bella's fault, she was just reacting to the things that happened to her.

No one was sure if she would ever remember us or any one else.

My heart dropped to the ground as I thought of her never remembering me, or my sister, or my family.

_"You know how much I love you Carlisle, we will all get through this",_ I said trying to sound confident and succeeding in this.

Even if I didnt think we would, I know I had to be strong for Carlisle, to let him know we are all in this together.

I got up slowly to let Carlisle has his alone time.

I headed for the door.

"_I love you too Edward", _he said in his thoughts.  
_  
"I know"_, I smiled back at him.

At this he smiled, and turned his chair back around to face the wall, and think.

I headed back into the living room, and no one was to be found.

It wasn't until I heard Esme's thoughts that I knew she was laying in bed curled up in a ball, trying to force tears out from her eyes.

I made my way quietly up the stairs, Esme was too trapped in her own thoughts to even notice my presence.

Her door was slightly opened, as I crept quietly to her bed and crawled in with her.

I pulled my mother closer to me, and hugged her as tight as I could.

I felt her body tremble as she turned around and dug her face into my chest.

I rubbed her back and started to hum her favorite song, the one I wrote for her.

Something strange about being a vampire is at certain times, we can trick our bodies into shutting down, and take something close to a nap.

I was more then thankful that Esme's mind could do it now for her.

I layed there and held her as I continued to hum.

I hoped that she could have some sort of peace for just a little bit longer.

I knew Carlisle would be coming up here soon to comfort the person he loved the most.

I slowly and carefully slide out of the bed, and headed down the stairs.

I heard some commotion downstairs, but couldn't understand why.

I was walking around the corner into the living room, and saw Jasper and Emmett holding someone up against the wall.

"_What is going on?", I yelled._

Neither of them answered.  
_  
"I said what the fuck is going on?", I growled._

Emmett and Jasper finally released their grip on whatever they were holding.

My jaw dropped at the sight.

**_"Jacob what are you doing here?", I barely got out._**


	18. I used to think the past was dead &gone

**In this shadow, I shrink and it knows  
I can't move. It is making me cold.  
And it grows in my stomach like mold.  
It keeps me just sick enough to stay home.**

Kill the lights. Curtains cover closed blinds.  
Build a wall of stone and steel that will never come down.  
Let the dust colonize just like James the first.  
There will be no blood this time.  
In silence, I'm yours. Twice dead-bolt the doors.

I've been followed by a face marked with pain.  
It came close once and he just learned my name.  
Every day he grows taller, he looks down at my heart,  
and through my throat, he could reach in and pull me apart.

It gets worse when he contacts my eyes.  
He can see right through to everything that blackened my veins  
and his sounds resonate up and down,  
like a march through me, this battlefield,  
there's just not much left, so silence the rest.

In this shadow, I shrink and it knows  
I can't move, I can't sleep.  
Terrified by my own bloodshot eyes.

_So, I'll wait here and pray.  
I prayed that I was all wrong about prayer.  
And I do know that this is truly tired._

**It still grows in my stomach like mold.  
It keeps me just sick enough to stay home, all alone.**

* * *

**  
Step out the front door like a ghost  
Into the fog where no one notices  
The contrast of white on white.  
And in between the moon and you  
The angels get a better view  
Of the crumbling difference between wrong and right.**

* * *

**  
Why do we bother?  
Why do we make ourselves open to such easy damages?**  
_Is it all lonliness?  
Is it all fear?_  
Or  
Is it just the experience those narcotic moments of belonging to someone else...

* * *

**Chapter Eighteen-Said i used to think the past was dead and gone, I was wrong, so wrong**

* * *

**Jacob's Pov:**

* * *

I honestly do not know what was running through my mind, when I decided to go talk to the Cullens.

Was I seriously writing out my own death sentence on either part?

For starters it was a suicide mission coming here, because the Cullen's detested anything that had to do with La Push.

Secondly if any one on the reservation found out about my where a bout's, I'd be a dead dog.

I was starting to feel hopeless though, I had tried to do everything in my power to protect Bella.

I had snuck her into the forest, and hid her in a cabin that I built for myself, that no one in my pact knew about.

I had nursed her back to health myself.

I followed her around, and kept a close eye on her.

Bella had crawled her way halfway into La Push, I found her body sprawled half way between the reservation, and Forks.

She had disappeared when we were only ten years old, I knew why, but it didn't change the fact that my heart hurt worse everyday.

I knew the grave danger she was in, if one of the vampires got to her first.

They didn't know who she was, that this was the chosen one, part mortal, part vampire, part wolf.

Bella never had an idea that her and I were related, her father and my father were distant cousins somewhere down the line.

Charlie had looked more like an Indian a long time ago, but after he was attacked the venom had turned his skin color pale.

Charlie is a werewolf, though he isn't exactly like us.

His dad was fifty percent werewolf, and his mother was one hundred percent human.

One day when Charlie was walking through the woods to visit my father Billie, they were both teenagers at the time, he heard a scream.

He felt the hair on his skin stand straight up, and darted in the direction of the noise.

What he saw there would never leave his mind, he found a girl laying there, neck snapped, as her blood poured from her body.

He moved closer to her, trying to see if there was any possible way she was still alive.

Charlie said his guess was that he interfered with someone's lunch, and before he knew what was happening, he felt someone sink their teeth into his neck.

He growled as loud as he could, as he flipped the person over his shoulder, and he pinned them underneath his body.

Charlie stared back into the eyes, of a black haired man who's eyes were as red as blood.

The man was snapping and snarling at Charlie.

Charlie heard the other people from the tribe getting closer to him, coming to his aid.

He could sense Billy was a few feet away, and turned his head to look for him, that's when the Vampire wiggled his way out of Charlies grip a little bit and bit his wrist.

Charlie screamed out in pain just as my father got there in time to grab the vampire, as everyone crowded into a circle and started to rip his body apart.

Some of the women from the tribe picked my father up and rushed him back to the reservation.

They're they treated his wounds, and Charlie's body healed it self from the cuts.

The strangest thing about being a werewolf is that a vampire's venom can't change us, or harm us, but it never leaves our body, thats why were so advent against getting bit.

Women in our tribe had the wolf blood in them, but most of them never changed into one, only a handful of women have ever had the honor.

It has something to do with being one of the chosen one's.

Also, women's bodie's re acted different then a man's would.

They didn't necessarily have the same restraints, or protection as we did.

Something in our chemical make up prevented us from being turned, or harmed by venom, something in the women's didn't always protect them.

Everyone found out that the vampire's name was Damien.

We don't know where he came from or why, maybe he was just passing through and couldn't resist, but a little girl's life was taken that day.

Charlie never got over the little girl's body laying there lifeless.

Charlie decided right then and there that he wanted to be a cop, and protect everyone and everything that he could.

He met a girl one night at a bar, and fell instantly in love with her.

No one was sure if he imprinted or not, but he fell in love with her, and she was his life.

Her name was Renee, and she was a very beautiful woman, as my father described.

Six months later she was pregnant with Bella.

They got married a month later, and thats when Charlie realized he had to tell Renee everything.

Renee thought he was crazy, and said she didn't want to hear another word on the subject.

Bella was born eight months later, and thats when Renee couldn't deny the truth anymore.

She knew there were strange things going on, whether she believed the myths or not, she knew something didn't seem right.

The minute Bella was born, Charlie knew something wasn't right.

Her heart didn't beat at first, and then when it did, it was beating so fast they thought it was going to beat right out of her chest.

Billie told me that when Bella was two Renee had found her out back with a dead squirrel in her lap, she had crushed it with her bare hands, and then licked some of the blood off her hands.

Bella threw up for two days straight after that.

My dad said right then and there, he knew it was only a matter of time before Renee left for good.

Billie said he thinks why all these strange things happened to Bella when she was first born and such, is because her body was trying to reject the different gene's in her system, and also because it was trying to become accustomed to them.

After awhile Bella never showed another sign of anything abnormal, and my dad says its because she has Renee's gene's which are all human, and half of Charlie's human gene's, and he thinks it started to dominate the other two different gene's.

He also said, it wouldn't last very long, because Bella was in fact not fully human, and her other two gene's would over take the human one's.

Charlie came over one night, when I was eight(a month before Bella disappeared), he was distraught and crying.

I hid in my room, but kept my ear to the door, as I heard Charlie say through sobs, that he told Renee that Bella would turn one day, especially if she stayed so close to La Push.

He said that she needed to get away with Bella far, far away, dont tell anyone where she's going, and just run.

Renee didn't want to leave Charlie, but at the same time she wanted to leave him more then anything.

A small part of her was still connected to Charlie and it killed her to think of him alone, but she cared more about herself and Bella.

A month later they were gone, no one knew where, and the people in forks didn't know why.

Everyone on the reservation knew damn well why.

Charlie also knew that if any vampire caught wing of the half breed, she'd be killed or used as a weapon.

Werewolf's and Vampire's were mortal enemies, and here was clumsy little Bella carrying keys to both of our worlds.

If the Volturi ever found out she'd be killed and hung up on their wall as an example of why we never breed with each other.

Which now brings us back to why I went to the Cullens.

No one on this planet knew that Bella had never left, except Renee.

I called Renee from Bella's phone and told her the truth, I didn't know what else to do.

I knew she'd call the cops if she didn't hear from Bella soon.

I told her I had her hidden in the woods and was taking good care of her.

Renee wanted to come get her right away but I told her that Bella's body was in the process of changing and that she would kill Renee in a heart beat.

I stayed on the phone with Renee while she cried for hours.

She didn't blame anyone she knew that this was unavoidable.

I called her everyday to let her know how Bella was, and to just talk to her.

All we had was each other, she couldn't tell any one and neither could I.

She told Phil that Bella had decided to go stay in Forks with her friend, and take a year or two off from college to figure out who she was.

Renee had never told Phil about Charlie or La push or any of that.

All Phil knew was that Charlie and her didn't work out, and that Charlie didn't want anything to do with Bella.

The Cullen's didn't even know what Bella was, her human scent masked the other two scents.

There had been a rumour going around about a half breed child, but no one knew if it was boy or girl, or even real.

We Indian's also had rival tribes, who were also Werewolve's on other reservations away from ours, and we did everything in our power to avoid the other.

The Cullens hated Werewolve's because once they had friends visiting from Alaska, The Denali clan I believe, who along their way to Forks met up with another Vampire named Laurent.

They had spent some time with Laurent in Seattle, and him and a little blonde hair girl from the Clan fell in love.

They didn't know that Laurent wasn't like them, he wore contacts at all times.

He drank blood from humans, and on their way into Forks Laurent attacked Charlies great grandmother and killed her, and one of the Wolve's from the Shawnee tribe was passing through and smelled Laurent and killed him right then and there in front of his girlfriend Tanya.

We caught wind of this while it was happening and ran into a fight.

Tanya tried to attack us, and we tried to restrain her, to get her to explain what happened, and thats when The Cullens showed up, but the Shawnee tribe had already left by then.

We were to blame, but so were they for the death of a human being.

Ever since then, we have both stayed away from each other.

So here I was pacing back and forth outside of their house, wondering what I would say or do.

I had to tell them about the danger Bella had become, and the danger that associating with her would do.

I could never tell them the real facts, but I was at a total loss at what to do with her.

Everyone in my tribe, except for two others, had gone away for a month or two, to visit some far away tribe, and teach some of the newbies some skill's.

Charlie had went too, and Mr. Andrews was in charge of the Police station for now.

No one knew besides the Cullens, that Bella was back, not even Quil and Embry, who were my best friends.

They knew I had been acting weird, but they always thought it was just hormones or something.

I had been on all fours, walking back and forth, when I decided I needed to leave.

Jasper and Emmett were heading back from dinner, and caught me outside.

Before I had a chance to explain, they ambushed me, and I shifted back into my human state, to show them I meant no harm.

That wasn't enough for them, they drug me inside, and had me pinned up against a wall, when Edward made his way downstairs.

They let me drop to the ground as Edward growled out something to them.

I barely heard what Edward said as I tried to let the oxygen flow back to my brain.

_"Jacob, what are you doing here?", he barely whispered._

I was still trying to catch my breath, when he ordered Emmett and Jasper out of the room.

_"Come on bro! We found him first! We get first dibs on tearing him apart", Emmett snarled._  
_  
"No one will be tearing anyone apart", Edward stated with so much authority, I even believed him._

_"Then what are we going to do about this?", Jasper asked curiously._

_"We are not going to do anything, Jacob came to see me", Edward said._

I can block any one out of my thoughts, I have selective reading, but I allowed Edward to know that I was here to talk with him.

_"How do you know he's telling the truth? He could just be telling you that, so he can catch us off guard?", Jasper asked in a worried tone._

_"Always ready to attack Jasper, how many years have you been away from the military and still your brain works like a true soldier?", Edward praised his brother._

Jasper smiled at this, and grabbed Emmett's arm and lead him out of the room.

I heard Emmett breaking things in the other room and screaming profanities.

_"Esme's going to be very upset about that", Edward smiled at me._

_"Im very sorry. I know I shouldn't be here, but I needed someone to talk too", I deflated._

_"And you decided I was the best bet because.....?", he said coldly._

_"I know it doesn't make sense, and I know were forbidden to associate, and I will not let any one in my pact know about this visit, but this isn't about us anymore.", I said angrily._

_"Please amuse me then, who is this about?", he said smugly._

"It's about Bella", I said in a whisper.

"What did you just say?", Edward shouted as his eyes flickered with an emotion I couldn't understand.

"This is about Bella", I said more loudly.

"Bella?", he said in an odd voice.

_"Yes Bella.", I said Calmly._

"Please keep your voice down", I begged.

I didn't need everyone else getting all psycho vampire on me.

_"What about Bella?", he yelled as he let out a growl._

**And before I knew what was happening I was surrounded by seven very overly emotional vampires.**

Whats that saying again? Oh yeah FUCK MY LIFE.


	19. This place is a prison

**There was a part of the mind - perhaps what we call the self-reflective or introspective function  
- that kept turning to look and, finding emptiness, kept sending the message that something was wrong.  
It was a reflex that had developed during the years of living in the illusion of individuality,  
A reflex we commonly consider necessary to ourselves  
We "look within" repeatedly to determine what we think and feel, to make a study of ourselves and track our states of mind and heart.  
Now that there was no longer an "in" to look "into", the self-reflective reflex was adrift, but persisted.  
It kept turning in and turning in, unable to come to terms with the fact that there was no in anymore, _only emptiness._**

* * *

**I've got a cupboard with cans of food, filtered water,  
And pictures of you and i'm not coming out  
Until this is all over  
And i'm looking through the glass where the light bends  
At the cracks  
_And i'm screaming at the top of my lungs pretending  
The echoes belong to someone  
Someone i used to know_**

**I wanted to walk through the empty streets  
And feel something constant under my feet,  
But all the news reports recommended that  
I stay indoors  
Because the air outside will make our cells  
Divide at an alarming rate until our shells  
Simply cannot hold all our insides in,  
And that's when we'll explode  
and it won't be a pretty sight  
And we become silhouettes when our bodies finally go.**

* * *

**Chapter Nineteen- This place is a prison, these people _aren't _your friends.**

* * *

**Bella's P.o.v:  


* * *

**  
When I finally regained my composure I looked at the man who had been holding me.

It was the boy from the woods, the one I almost tore apart, the one who rode the dirt bike.

_"Bella? Who's Bella?", I asked confusedly._

_"I know we got off on the wrong foot, but please don't run away", he pleaded._

I looked at him for a second, and he seemed so sincere.

_"Who are you?", I asked curiously._

_"My name is Jacob, Jacob Black", he said sadly._  
_  
"Jacob? Jacob Black...hmmm it doesn't ring a bell honestly", I stated._

_"I don't expect it to", he said in an almost whisper, and I saw something flicker across his features but I couldn't figure it out._

_"Are you saying we don't actually know each other?", I said dryly._

_"No, no we do, but I don't expect you to remember me", he said._

_"I guess we weren't that close", I said coldly._

His eyes were angry at this statement, but he would never show it on his face.  
_  
"Why do people keep calling me Bella?", I asked trying to change the subject._

_"Because thats your name", he said weakly._

_"No, no I don't think it is. It definitely doesn't sound familiar at all. Maybe you have me confused with someone else.", I said._  
_  
"Then what is your name?", he challenged me._

Oh what a fucking bastard, he would pull that card.

_"Wish I fucking knew, but I don't think its Bella", I said in a confused tone._

_"It is Bella. Isabella Marie Swan, born September Thirteenth Nineteen Eighty Seven. I know both of your parents, and we've been best friends since we were born. Dare to ask me anymore questions?" He said smugly.  
_

_"Okay Jacob Black, then if we are friends and all that shit, then how come I don't fucking remember you or any one else?", I said with an attitude._

_"Because you hit your head pretty hard, along with some other things", he said sadly, as if remembering the whole incident._  
_  
"Ugh!", I screamed, "why can't I remember any of this!"_  
_  
"I know this is hard for you, and I know this is weird, and I want to help you", he said in a whisper._

_"Help me with what!", I growled._

_"Bella you are in mortal danger being here, we need to get you out", he said with authority._

Something inside of me told me I should heed his warning, but the monster inside of me laugh at this.

_"You, in danger?", the monster said, "Haha what a fucking joke! Your the worst kind of weapon", he laughed_.

_"Jacob, haha, if I remember correctly, I almost tore you the fuck apart, now who's in danger, again?", I said sarcasticlly_.

I expected him to cry or something but what he did next surprised me.

He--------------------------------------------------------------------------- fucking ------------------------------------------------------------slapped------------------------------------------------------------------- me.

Right across my face, **wham bam thank you mam.**

I looked at him after my head snapped back.

_"What the fuck are you thinking?", I growled._

_"Listen up, and listen up real fucking good. Are you listening?", he said in a sinister voice._

_"Yeah Im fucking listening", I spat out._

_"Your life is in fucking danger, I'm not threatening you, saying "Look at me Im the big bad fucking wolf coming to blow your house down", Im saying there are people who are more dangerous then I am out there, who would snap your fucking neck in a second, and rip your body to shreds, if they knew you fucking existed", he said coldly._

I couldn't find my voice to say anything, I don't think it was because that scared me, I think its because it took me off guard and made me extremely angry.

_"You think this is a fucking joke, don't you? Ha Women, so fucking pig headed", he laughed._

_"Fuck you prick, so does that make you a woman too?", I said with a smug smile._

_"Real mature, I tell you your life's in danger, and your more concerned with my gender, oh I'll tell ya, your real fucking smart", he said._  
_  
"Cause talking to me like im a fucking child will make me listen, ha men, so egotistical", I argued back._  
_  
"Your really starting to drive me fucking insane", he spat back._

_"Smooches", I said back to that._

_"This is a lot to fucking take in, excuse me if making jokes about it, is my way of fucking coping", I said flatly._

_"Whatever", was his witty response._

_"Im going to take a walk, I know you'll find me when I think this over, you seem to be everywhere I fucking go", I said._

I went to walk away but he grabbed me and took me into the biggest hug I had ever felt.

It was tight, and hard and full of love.

_"What the fuck was that for?", I asked but he was already halfway down the street._

Well where the fuck to now?_  
_  
I remembered passing a huge book store, a few streets back and decided it would be warm there.

I turned around and made my way back into town, as I stepped foot onto the parking lot of the huge building and made my way across the football field size parking lot, and into the store.

As I entered the building a strange aroma invaded my breathing space, and I got this extreme case of Deja Vu._  
_  
I made my way onto the the second floor and headed to the aisle in the middle.

I wasn't sure if I even liked reading, but it sure as hell would pass time, and it was warm in here.

I picked up the first book I saw.."The lovely Bones", by Alice Sebold  
_  
"Great book", I heard a small voice say._  
_  
"Wouldn't know, never read it", I said refusing to turn around._

I put the book back on the shelf and looked in the direction of another book.

_"Alice Sebold is an amazing write", she stated._

_"Right", was all I said._

_"I always come here, to just take my mind off of things, ya know? To forget about the world outside, its such a serene place", she said smoothly._

_"Who are some of your favorite authors?", she said cheerfully._

_"I don't read", I said flatly._

_"Oh. What an odd place to be then, don't you think?" she asked quizzedly._

_"Wanna know what I find odd?" I said turning to look her in the eyes._

I knew I've seen her face somewhere before, but I couldn't put my finger on it, I was so livid.

I was so tired of everyone criticizing me when they don't even fucking know me.

_"Hmmm what?", she purred._

_"That here you are criticizing me about being odd, but here you are annoying a complete stranger", I said matter of factly._

_"Am I annoying you?", she asked sadly._

Oh for the love of all that is holy, was she really getting offended?  
_  
"Mmhhm", I said sweetly._

_"Oh", was all she said._

_"Whatever, we all make mistakes", I said trying to make her feel a bit better.  
_  
I reached behind me and picked Jane Sebold back up, it wouldn't fucking kill me to read it, and the little bitch said it would be good, didn't she?

As if I had somewhere else to be.

I noticed she had a book in her hand, _"So what are you reading?", I asked awkardly._

Her little face lit up.

_"Wuthering heights! Its one of my favorites, it use to be my best friends favorite too", she said as something strange crossed her features but was quickly replaced by a smile._  
_  
"Hmm, never heard of it", I said._  
_  
"Well I was going to read over there on the couch, you can come if you want", I spat out before I even had a chance to stop myself._

_"I would love too!", she gleamed._

_"Right", was all I said.  
_  
She followed me next to the big couch and sat down next to me.

I didn't get even open the book because she chatted away, and for some reason I couldn't find it in me to be annoyed.

I don't even remember what we talked about, but we talked for hours.

I let her do most of the talking, being I didn't know anything about myself to say anything.  
_  
"Oh by the way, hanging out with me is probably not in your best interest, being that my life is in mortal danger_", im sure that would go over well.

I had to pee really bad, and as I picked my coat up to go, something fell out of my pocket.

It was a wad of cash, with a paper in the middle.

_"By the way", she said picking up the cash and handing it to me, "My names Alice"._

Alice? Why did I know that fucking name? I heard it recently.

I opened up the roll of cash and took the piece of paper out, as I was reading it, it hit me.

Alice? WAIT ALICE? Wasn't that the girl from the fucking forest? Edwards girlfriend or whatever? The little barbie bitch?

I looked at the paper in my hand and it stated:

**This place is a **prison**, these people **_aren't_** your friends. Be careful.**


	20. Stranger Than Your Sympathy

**

* * *

So, it comes to this basically.  
Happiness is what you make of it.  
Wholeness is never really 'whole'.  
Sadness is what we result to when both of these concepts fail us.  
I could be with you, or without you .  
And either way I still wouldn't feel whole.  
**_I could make light of everything when it is at its worst and thats happiness._**  
I could not give a damn about what others think, like everyone says they follow through with,  
Or just realize that, that is a bunch of bullshit, and everyone in someway or another is insecure.  
I could still be friends with you, and think that it would be a solution,  
But then later find out that I'm just back at square one.  
I could enhance my mind and turn to studys and ignore everyone else,  
**Yet that doesn't quit do it because no matter how hard I try lately it still never seems to be good enough. **  
I could appreciate your love, and concern and get happiness based on that, and as much of a blessing at a time like this that that is .  
It still doesnt do it.  
You see, ever since that day theres been something that I'm searching for.  
And I don't know I just haven't found what it is yet.  
**But its gotten me into dangers and loads of trouble, and I'd just wish for that to all end. **  
You see, I don't know what it is that I want anymore,  
And maybe i have just become completley oblivious and crazy but days go by and nothing changes;  
In the end everything is just the same . I'm confused , looking for something, and denying the truth.

* * *

Im going insane; yeah I'm laughing at the frozen rain. And I'm so alone...**honey, when they gonna send me home?**  


* * *

  
And it only feels worse when I stay in one place  
So Im always **_Pacing Around_** or **_Walking Away_**  


* * *

Chapter Twenty: Stranger than your sympathy**.

* * *

**Bella's Pov:  
**

* * *

What does one do, when a rather large sum of money falls from one's pocket, with a little note attached that basically says that no one loves you?

Hmm, hmm, hmm.

I guess any normal person would cry over the fact, but I on the other hand, did a little victory dance.

I had money to eat tonight, and money to rent a room to sleep in.

Fuck yes!

Oh wait, wasn't I in the middle of talking to someone?

Oh! That's right, that little pixie bitch, I had a few words for her, or should I say, a slew of profanities.

I looked up from my thoughts to see Alice's little body trembling as her eyes rolled into the back of her head.

Here I was ready to lash out on her, and now I was scared she was dying or some shit.

I slowly put my arms around her and sat her back on the couch.

There was a slight spark as our bodie's made contact.

I turned around to see if any one else had noticed, but no one seemed to be looking.

I felt a gust of wind, and turned back to see Alice had gotten up swiftly and was now staring at me.

_"Are you alright Al?", I asked in a concerned voice._

Al? AL? What the fuck is that shit? I don't even know this girl and here I am calling her Al, like we've been BffFff for lyk EvEr.  
_  
"I gotta- I gott-tt-a go", she said abruptly._

For some reason, the thought of her leaving me, made me undoubtedly sad.  
_  
"Look Im really sorry if I was rude, or I didn't talk enough, or if I sounded like I wasn't interested, because I was, or I mean I am.", I stumbled over the words.  
_  
I looked up at her through my lashes, and all the kindness in her eyes had left a long time ago, as her cold stare burned into my soul.

_"I said I have to go.", she said frostly, and with that she was half way across the room._

_"Please don't leave", I barely whispered._

I slumped down onto the ground, as I layed my head in between my knee's, and let all the emotions that were trying to unbury themselve's come out.  
_  
"Was the book really that sad?", I heard a childlike voice ask._

"Go away", I retorted, without even looking up.

I felt the book being lifted out of my hands, and the pages being open and closed.

_"You know, Ive come to find out that I'm not really a fan of Sense and Sensibility. Hm, maybe I'm just biased.", the voice laughed at some inside joke._

It hit me right then that the characters name was Edward, and that maybe this kid was onto something.

I didn't really have a right to hate this Edward guy, but I did non the less.

I looked up to see a very tiny thing standing in front of me, a couple inches shorter then me, but so tiny.

Short pale brown hair, full lips, and wide eyes that maybe so brown they're black.

I couldn't tell if it was a boy or girl, so I didn't want to assume.  
_  
"Im not really a fan either for some reason", I said trying to be polite, though I'm sure their reason for disliking it was different from mine._

I took a minute or two to look this child over.

The face was the face of a cherub and led me to believe it was a girl.

I noticed her checking me out, she was staring into my eyes, as if she was trying to figure something out.

I coughed to let her know I didn't appreciate the staring.

She looked around for a second and then spoke up.

_"Hm. My brothers around here somewhere", she said with a smile._

"You can go back to what you were doing, I was just taken off guard by your blatant parade of emotions", she said with authority.

I was annoyed that this little girl thought she could talk to me like that.

I gave her a look that told her she had better calm her mouth down.

She just smiled back at me like a devious angel.

I smiled back as my lip pulled up to reveal my teeth.

I heard her gasp for a second then regain her composure.  
_  
"Where are you?", I heard a small boy's voice ask._

"Over here", she called him over to her, not taking her eyes off of me for a second.

"What are you doing?", he said as he approached us.

"Oh nothing, just talking about books", she said as she flashed me a wicked glance, that he seemed to not notice.  
_  
"Well we better get going, you know how they feel if were late", he said as he shuddered at the last part._

"Why of course brother, wouldn't want to keep them waiting", she said as she kept her eyes on me still.

He started to walk away, but she stayed there staring at me.

I stared right back at her letting her know she didn't scare me.  
_  
"Were leaving now!", I heard him call over the bookshelve's._

He said something that I didn't understand, because it was in another language, maybe Italian.

_"I'll be right there ", she called after him.  
_  
She turned to look me right in the eyes, before dancing away.

I felt my muscles tighten as our faces were only inches away from each other.

_"You better go", I said with a growl._

_"It would be my pleasure", she said innocently._

_"I'll be seeing you around", she said with a gleam in her eyes._

I went to say something but was cut off by a loud snarl from across the room.

**"Jane!"**


	21. Informed

**  


* * *

Chapter Twenty One: Informed.  
**

* * *

**Alice's P.o.v:  
**

* * *

I ran as fast as I could home, I was so scared of what was going to happen.

As I was sitting in the bookstore with Bella, I saw him and knew no good could come of this.

I reached the steps of my house, and was assaulted by his smell.

Now don't get me wrong; I never had a problem with Jacob Black, but I couldn't deny the fact that he smelled rancid.

I rushed into the house, and stopped dead in my tracks, as I saw everyone was ready to pounce on him.

A vision came to me right then and there, and I knew instantly that I had to protect Jacob Black.

I crouched down into the attack position, and jumped in front of him.

I heard him gasp as I stood in front of him.

_"Alice, what are you doing?", I heard Jasper almost beg; his voice was on the verge of hysterics._

_"Back - off - now", I snarled at my brother._

_"Alice, get away", Edward growled at me._

_"Edward,- back - off - now", I said as I showed my teeth._

_"A-l-ii-ce", he growled again._  
_  
"If it wasn't for Jacob, Bella would be dead! Is that what you want?", I yelled back._

Everyone but Edward stood up at that notion.

_"What are you talking about?", Edward asked through clenched teeth._

_"Listen to me!", I shouted, and with that Edward stood up._

I stood up to show that I didn't want to argue with my brother,and that Jacob wasn't here to cause harm.

I turned to look at Jacob who neither showed fear or anger.  
_  
"I'm very sorry about that Jacob, you have to understand that Bella is a very sore subject for all of us", I said as I stuck my hand out to shake his._

He looked at it oddly for a second, and then put his hand in mine.

_"I really didn't want to come here, because I didn't want to upset anyone, but I didn't know who else to go too", Jacob said sincerely._

I heard Emmett huff from behind me, and I turned to glare at him.

He could be so immature at times, but I knew his immaturity towards certain things was because he was very protective of his family.

_"I also, know that you all love Bella dearly, and that you should all be informed also", he said._

I know that relationships between Vampire's and Werewolves were a big no no, but I couldn't find it in me to care.

I decided that in this instance I liked Jacob Black, that he was a good person.

Jacob sat down and started to try and explain some things to us about Bella.  
_  
"Isabella has gone through some changes, some changes that she doesn't even know yet or understand", Jacob started._

I could tell he was keeping things from us, but realized he was probably just trying to keep his pact's treaty.  
_  
"She doesn't remember anyone or anything, so if you have encountered her, you may have been confused by her severe anger or confusion on who you are", he said._

As I was sitting there listening intently to what he was telling us, I saw images of something I did not like.

I gasped and every turned to look at me.

My guess would be that Jacob was about to say something important and I interrupted.

I saw the short, pale figure floating closer to Bella in the book store, and I had to scream.

Jasper rushed to my side, as everyone stopped talking.

_"What is it my love?", Jasper asked._

I could tell he was trying to calm me down, but it wasn't going to work.  
_  
"It's Jane! I saw Jane", I said through a rush of words._  
_  
"What do you mean it's Jane?", Carlisle spoke up._

_"What's Jane?", he asked again._

_"She's here in Forks!", I said._

_"Who's Jane?", I heard Jacob ask._

_"Jacob, this is a very serious matter", Carlisle started._

_"Just like you have a leader in your pact, we have a group of people who govern all vampires; The Volturi", Carlisle said._

_"I know who the Volturi is, but what does that mean though?", Jacob asked confused._

_"They live in Italy, and they never leave their castle unless their is a very good reason for it", Rosalie stated._

_"What are they doing here? Is Jane their leader?", Jacob asked._

_"That's the answer we would all like to know. What are they doing here?", Jasper spoke up._

_"Jane is not their leader, though she wishes she could be", Carlisle said._

_"Jane is a member of their guard; she protects the Volturi", I said._

_"If their so big and powerful, why do they need someone to protect them?", Jacob asked._

It was a very good question, and until now I never thought about it.

_"Not just someone", Carlisle corrected," they consist of about ten to twelve extremely strong and powerful vampires"._

Jacob nodded his head in response.

_"They all have special powers, and that is why they were chosen", Carlisle said._

_"They are extremely powerful by themselves but with their guard, they are unstoppable", Carlisle spoke again._

_"Carlisle lived with them for a short time", Esme informed Jacob._

_"Oh", was all he could say._

_"So what does Jane being here mean?", Esme asked Carlisle._

_"I don't really know, but what I do know is that we need to find Bella and keep her away from them", Carlisle said._

_"You have to be extremely careful, Bella is no joke now. She gets angry very easily because she is confused. We can't ambush her or make her feel threatened", Jacob said._

_"This is what we'll do", Carlisle said as we all sat around him._

He explained to us what we had to do, and one by one paired us off._  
_  
It wasn't until he was going around the room pairing us off, that we all noticed something was off._  
_  
We all looked around at each other, and then it hit me.

_**"Wheres Edward?", I exclaimed.**  
_


End file.
